The surgeon told my mom...

[MissMillie]

Yesterday after my mom's lumpectomy, she asked the surgeon (who has performed many lumpectomies) if he thought the lump looked cancerous. He hemmed and hawed a bit, and after some gentle prodding said...

"If I had to bet, I'd bet that it was cancerous."


I am so scared. I don't want my mom to be sick. If you knew her you'd know she's the most giving person in the whole wide world. I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin. How am I going to make it through the next few days while we wait on the biopsy results?

[spooky3]

1. ++++++++ to you, MissMillie. Remember that there is much they can do

to fight cancer if you do get the results you fear.

[UrbScotty]

2. I will pray for you and your mom.

:hug:

[SheilaT]

3. Would it make sense to start

looking at the options if it turns out to be cancer?

As tough as the waiting will be, this gives you a chance to find out what you can do.

I don't know which would be worse: being told it's probably cancer, which it then turns out to be, or being told it's probably benign and then finding out it is cancer.

I'm not going to offer any platitudes, but simply what I think I would be doing in similar circumstances, which is to tell you to find out all you can about what you might expect and how to start dealing with it.

All the best to you and your mom.

[commander bunnypants]

4. I am with you

and totally understand how you feel. My moms appt is on 7-27 to discuss options

DDQM

[kikiek]

5. Best wishes and keep good thoughts for her..

They are able to treat breast cancer very sucessfully now days. And if it is cancer there are so many things yet that they need to know. May be a very early stage and confined to the duct. I know many women who have survived breast cancer for many years. Even in advanced stages. Good luck to you and her. Mothers are so special it is a frightening challenge to face.

[Kahuna]

6. I wish every woman could meet my neice who had breast cancer..

at the age of 24. Such courage, I've never seen in my life. When I was having problematic Mammos, I remembered Micki's courage. That was five years ago. Micki has since married and has a beautiful daughter. She is very happy and alive and well.

[BlondieK143]

7. I'll be praying for your family.

My grandfather was diagnosed with cancer almost two months ago. He's been through surgery and will now have to start on Chemo. All I can say to you is that there IS hope. Hang in there and you always have us. :hug:

[GOPisEvil]

8. Crap...

...I have no clue on how you should proceed having never gone through this (thank goodness), but I will keep you and your mother in my thoughts.

[Divernan]

9. Think AGGRESSIVE.

When my Mom got a cancer diagnosis, one of her "friends" suggested she refuse surgery or other treatments and "pray to God". Since my Dad had died of cancer after several surgeries (back in the 50's - when treatments were much less effective), part of her wanted to go along with doing nothing.

I told her, no way! Told her WE (her AND her family) were going to beat this cancer and insisted that she go for the most aggressive treatment option (surgery). The "family" turned out to be just me, because my 2 brothers immediately took an "oh my God, poor us; our Mom has cancer and is going to die" point-of-view. Bottom line, Mom had surgery within a month and that was back in 1983. She is alive and cancer free at age 92!

So my strong advice to you is that you say to your Mom:

Look, maybe the results will be benign and that will be great. But if it is cancer, we'll just do what we have to do to beat it, and we WILL beat it.

Make sure you or someone from the family is with her for all her doctor's appointments and treatments/surgeries. My Mom tried to tell me I didn't have to be with her when she was operated on (I had to take unpaid leave and was raising 3 kids on my own at the time). I had tried to get my either of my brothers
to be there and they refused. So I went and it's the best decisions I ever made and the best thing I ever did for her. When they came to her room to move her to the OR, I walked with her, holding her hand, right to the OR door, and the last thing she said to me (she was very frightened)
was to voice her fear that she was going to die on the operating table. I very forcefully replied, No you are NOT, and I am going to be the first person you see when you wake up. And I was.

So you be positive and supportive and do your crying in private.

[Branjor]

10. MissMillie....

My father had a hard lump on his jaw taken off. The day the surgeon took it off he said the fact that the lump was so hard was a "bad sign". The biopsy came back BENIGN. Remember, the verdict is not in until the biopsy results are in. The heck with the doctor's "guesses".

[latebloomer]

11. I have been there, MissM

My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer that had spread into some lymph nodes almost 13 years ago. I know well the hell of waiting for biopsy results.

I was pregnant with my son then. She hoped that she would live long enough to see him go to kindergarten.

Now he's a big strapping hulk and my mom is FINE! So don't despair. This is not a death sentence.

:hug:

[MissMillie]

12. THANK YOU ALL for your support

It's so good to have you all here to vent to; you're all so sweet and kind.

In trying to stay positive I'm going to remember what my mother said to the surgeon after he told her he thought it was cancer. She looked him square in the eye and said, "It doesn't matter, because I'm going to be just fine."

From her lips.......

[newyawker99]

13. I am sending positive thoughts to your mom Miss Millie...

~~~~~~~~positive thoughts to Miss Millie's Mom~~~~~~~~~~~~

[YellowRubberDuckie]

14. I'm so sorry Millie...

But I agree with the aggressive suggestion. If it hasn't spread, please encourage your mother to do whatever she has to do to get rid of that cancer. :hug: <--is better than any words anyone can say. I hope everything turns out ok.
Duckie

[flamingyouth]

15. I'm so sorry

I hope he was wrong, and I wish he hadn't speculated like that. The waiting is the worst.

I'm sure your mom is an amazing person - she raised you and you are pretty darned swell. Please know that I'm thinking of you and your family.:hug:

[CO Liberal]

16. They Better Do a Biopsy!!!!

They did a biopsy on a wart on my forehead last year before they removed it. They damn well better do a biopsy on that lump!!!!

[MissMillie]

17. Yes, they're doing a biopsy

We're waiting for results. It's going to take a few days.