Proper procedure for replacement of mouse balls

[RoadRunner]

"This was a real memo sent out by a computer company (IBM) to its employees in all seriousness. It went to all field engineers regarding a computer peripheral problem. "

http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_407.htm

To: Whom this may concern

Re: Replacement of mouse balls

If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement.

Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Units). Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method.

Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist off method.. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge.

Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately. It is recommended that each person have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction.

Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these necessary items.

Please keep in mind that a customer without properly working balls is an unhappy customer.

[Deja Q]

1. I am SO happy for optical mice these days...

They don't have balls, just a hole that lights up when you look into it... No balls (hard or otherwise) have to be handled, popped, pushed, shoved, twisted, or discharged.

[truthbetold]

2. Hmmm.

It sounds like they switched to female mice.

[Unperson 309]

3. In all the years I've been looking at female holes...

I have NEVER had one light up for me!!

Maybe it's like a fridge light? Open, it pops on, closed, it's off!

Of course, standing there with it wide open trying to figure out what I want might make the room a bit chilly after a while... And it wastes energy. Either eat something or close it up!

Of course nobody EVER takes that Tupperware container out... when did we put that IN there? And what is it? Do I dare to look?

No... whatever it is, it's furry and malodorous! I'll just close it and go get take out.

309

The Missus just read that. Ow! She insists that I tell everyone that in OUR bedroom, NOTHING lights up when opened!

(Although I think something needs defrosting...)

OW!

Okay, I'll stop!

[Renew Deal]

4. Snopes says...

It's sorta real.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/business/mouse.htm