Which are you more often: The Dumper or the Dumpee?

[tom_paine]

This is for ALL DUers, hetero- and homo-

This is a question which cuts across ALL boundaries.

I would like to add that there is NO SHAME in being dumped. Sometimes, I've been HAPPY that I got dumped because I was ready to pull the trigger on the relationship and she alleviated the problem with little fuss.

So, DUers of all races, creeds, colors, sexual prefs: Which is it: Dumper or Dumpee?

FULL DISCLOSURE: My Choice was #3. About equal. More being dumped when I was a less confident Young Man, more being the Dumper as I grew older and more secure in myself.

[terrya]

1. I've been dumped far more.

[GainesT1958]

2. Usually I find that I'm only the "dumper"...

When I'm, er, "enthroned"!:eyes:

B-)

[tom_paine]

5. LOL! Good one.

Yes, I suppose, factoring that in, so are we ALL the Dumpee!

ROFLMAO!

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

3. What about mutual agreement?

In most of my relationships, we tend to see things are working out at about the same time... I chose "dumped" in lieu of such an option, I might add, so I'm not just being delusional here.

[SOteric]

4. Don't you mean "Dumper" or "Dumpee?"

:shrug:

[tom_paine]

6. Wups! Changing it right now!

[tom_paine]

7. I'm betting you are the Dumper, more often, gorgeous!

Just a guess...

:evilgrin:

[SOteric]

8. *s* Thank you for the kind compliment

but rest assured, I've been dumped a couple of times, too.

[tom_paine]

9. I can't believe this thread sank so quick!

:kick:

[King Of Paperboys]

10. More often dumped, these days,

But more often the dumper when I was young.

It's weird; Until I was 26 or so, I treated women awfully. I lied and smooth-talked to get whatever I wanted, then I would callously dump women when it pleased me to do so. When I realized that I was hurting people, I made a commitment never to lie to or use other people ever again. Now I'm the one who gets lied to and used. Not-so-instant karma.

[supernova]

11. About 1/2 and 1/2

Dumper and Dumpee.

I try not to let it get too far if I see I'm not going to be interested in that person.

[LuminousX]

12. Most often dumped, but

I'm in the midst of being the dumper at the moment, ending a 5 year relationship and I have new found respect for the women in my past who have done it. I can see now that it is a very very hard thing to do, especially when it isn't because the person isn't awful but because things just aren't 'right'.

All the cliches come rushing in "Let's be friends" is said honestly at the moment. But the process makes it difficult and it depends on how forgiving the 'dumped' is. The realization that I've caused her hurt, disrupted her concept of her future, and all of that makes me ill. The one thing I am envious of, though, is when I was dumped, the girls dumping me didn't have to live with me, where I'm in a situation where we have to ride out our lease (end of August) which means I'm there in the apartment for the crying and being yelled at, etc. The girls who dumped me got to walk away relatively unscathed in that department.

It makes me question if relationships are even worth it.

[tom_paine]

13. I have also asked myself that question

Do I really want to trade my house and my future financial security for 3 years with a womna who is going to betray me and take me to the cleaners?

(this is not sexist, a woman would have the same right to ask the opposite question about relationships with men)

Given the Loyalty Level to their Spouses of most of the Imperial Subjects of Amerika, it would seem to be as difficult as the fabled "finding a needle in a haystack".

Yes, I have wondered about that myself.

[rumguy]

14. about fifty-fifty

but there were times I was happy about being dumped...

I'm weak like that. I can't pull the trigger on a relationship...

[Kat45]

15. About even between being the dumper, the dumpee, or a

mutual breakup. I've had three "serious" (long-lasting) relationships in my life, and one falls into each of the three categories. And you might be surprised to hear this, but I am still friends with all three of these men!