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Has everyone been paying Microsoft for their double-clicks?

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wtmusic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-22-04 09:52 PM
Original message
Has everyone been paying Microsoft for their double-clicks?
Edited on Tue Jun-22-04 09:54 PM by wtmusic
Since Microsoft's patent on the double-click went through a few weeks ago, I realized how many double-clicks I was using, and that I was depriving the software giant of revenue which could be used in development.

With a little armchair calculation I figured each double-click was worth roughly .000614¢. I also figured I had averaged about 700 clicks a day since 1988, and it was high time I paid up:

5840 days x .000614¢/click x 700 = 3.58576 cents

When I sent Microsoft a check for $.04 (I rounded up--hell, I figure it was worth it) not only did they NOT CASH MY CHECK, but they won't even send me a statement! Well--since my checks apparently aren't good enough for Mr. Gates, I went and copied my friend's version of Windows--So There!

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KeepItReal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-22-04 09:55 PM
Response to Original message
1. I will as soon as they pay *me* back for...
...all the "General Protection Faults" and Blue-screens-of-death and software incompatibilities and virus attacks and losses of data all thanks to their "innovations" in software design.
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Wickerman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-22-04 10:00 PM
Response to Reply #1
6. Yep - when I get back the hours that Windows ME stole from me
Bill can have my dble click cents. I'm holding my breath
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KeepItReal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-22-04 10:04 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. I just want back the hours of my life Windows 98 took from me
With my brand-spanking-new laptop.... I wanted to drop-kick the thing. It would never shut down gracefully!

I installed Windows 2000 in that same laptop and low-and-behold, it was like I had gone from a Pacer to a Porsche (Boxter S, if you please).
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Wickerman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-22-04 10:13 PM
Response to Reply #9
16. LOL
be glad you didn't get off on the ME sidetrack - makes 98 look like a well tuned BMW.
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KeepItReal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-22-04 10:21 PM
Response to Reply #16
17. My old BMW M3 takes offense at being likened to Win 98!!!
Edited on Tue Jun-22-04 10:23 PM by KeepItReal
As it (ironically) sits in the shop... damn you water pump!!

:-(
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AndyP Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-22-04 09:56 PM
Response to Original message
2. Haven't paid for anything from microsoft before
why start now :)
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KeepItReal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-22-04 09:57 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. Damn man! You're single-handedly STIFLING INNOVATION!!
;-P
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wtmusic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-22-04 09:59 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. You must be thinking of another company
:P
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dweller Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-22-04 09:59 PM
Response to Original message
5. can't you just set your mouse to 'single-click' ?
or right click....?
or use a dos command?

screw da man!
dp
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wtmusic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-22-04 10:03 PM
Response to Reply #5
8. I'm afraid if they bring up the 'single click patent' issue
Microsoft could end up "owning" finger snaps, those little New Year's clicker thingies, and a host of other click-type applications. Best not open that can of worms.
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dweller Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-22-04 10:06 PM
Response to Reply #8
12. then we'll
go with the triple click, followed by the quadruple twist and a half jab, feint and fadeaway click.

keep the monkeys counting.
dp
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KeepItReal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-22-04 10:08 PM
Response to Reply #12
13. Oooh! "Fadeaway Click"!! - You better copyright that!!
Trademark it too while you're at it.
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ornotna Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-22-04 10:01 PM
Response to Original message
7. Seeing as how my settings are for single click
I don't owe them squat. :)
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KeepItReal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-22-04 10:05 PM
Response to Reply #7
10. I'll bet the patent includes the "click" sound, too...watch out!
Bill Gates is a pretty bright guy...
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JBoris Donating Member (675 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-22-04 10:05 PM
Response to Original message
11. Wow
MS sure dose have alot of lawyers and alot of time
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KeepItReal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-22-04 10:09 PM
Response to Reply #11
14. Welcome to DU, JBoris!!
Cheers from gloomy Los Angeles...

:-)
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amerikat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-22-04 10:09 PM
Response to Original message
15. If we get our Democracy back do we also get the patent office too?
Edited on Tue Jun-22-04 10:09 PM by amerikat
Seems that the qualifications for getting a patent have changed.
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