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name not needed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 08:22 AM
Original message
The Mormon Masturbation guide, (really!)
STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION
Mark E. Petersen
Council of the 12 Apostles

A Guide to Self-Control:

1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal toilet processes.

2. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company.

3. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never associate with other people having the same weakness.

4. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress AND THEN GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM into a room where you will have some member of your family present.

5. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes.

6. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, GET OUT OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF A SNACK, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight.

7. Never read pornographic material. Never read about your problem . Keep it out of mind.

8. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read good books -- Church books -- Scriptures -- Sermons of the Brethern.

9. Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about this problem, for that will tend to keep in your mind more than ever. Pray for faith, pray for understanding of the Scriptures, pray for the Missionaries, the General Authorities, your friends, your families, BUT KEEP THE PROBLEM OUT OF YOUR MIND BY NOT MENTIONING IT EVER -- NOT IN CONVERSATION WITH OTHERS, NOT IN YOUR PRAYERS. KEEP IT _OUT_ of your mind!


Further Suggestions:

1. Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others and learn to enjoy working and talking to them. Use principles of developing friendships found in books such as _How to Win Friends and Influence People_ by Dale Carnegie.

2. Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to feel lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged. These emotional states can trigger the desire to masturbate as a way of escape. Plan in advance to counter these low periods through various activities, such as reading a book, visiting a friend, doing something athletic, etc.

3. Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it with you, but show it to no one. If you have a lapse of self control, color the day black. Your goal will be to have _no black days_. The calendar becomes a strong visual reminder of self control and should be looked at when you are tempted to add another black day. Keep your calendar up until you have at least three clear months.

4. A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at certain times and under certain conditions. Try and recall, in detail, what your particular times and conditions were. Now that you understand how it happens, plan to break the pattern through counter activities.

5. In the field of psychotherapy there is a very effective technique called _aversion therapy_. When we associate or think of something very distasteful with something which has been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was pleasurable. If you associate something very distasteful with your loss of self-control it will help you to stop the act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eat several of them as you do the act.

6. During your toileting and shower activities leave the bathroom door or shower curtain partly open, to discourage being alone in total privacy. Take cool brief showers.

7. Arise immediately in the mornings. Do not lie in bed awake, no matter what time of day it is. Get up and do something. Start each day with an enthusiastic activity.

8. Keep your bladder empty. Refrain from drinking large amounts of fluids before retiring.

9. It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use in overcoming this problem. A Book of Mormon, firmly held in hand, even in bed at night has proven helpful in extreme cases.

10. In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to the bed frame with a tie in order that the habit of masturbating in a semi-sleep condition can be broken. This can also be accomplished by wearing several layers of clothing which would be difficult to remove while half asleep.

11. Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude patterns which were part of your problem. _Satan Never Gives Up_. Be calmly and confidently on guard. Keep a positive mental attitude. You can win this fight! The joy and strength you will feel when you do will give your whole life a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment.

:)
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SmileyBoy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 08:26 AM
Response to Original message
1. This is HILARIOUS. Thank you!!!
LOL!!!:D
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skooooo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 08:26 AM
Response to Original message
2. OMG this is soooooo weird!!


I like #3: "3. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never associate with other people having the same weakness."


Cause, you know we all have friends with whom we get together and...ehem..oh never mind. (joke)

LOL
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gatlingforme Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 08:29 AM
Response to Original message
3. Oh, that was funny.
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skooooo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 08:30 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. Good to know what to do when there is a


SEVERE or EXTREME case, isn't it?

I'm comforted.
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 08:33 AM
Response to Original message
5. Sad. God gave us these beautiful, amazing bodies
but we aren't supposed to enjoy them. What is the matter with some people??

Would Jesus love a liberal? You bet!
http://www.geocities.com/greenpartyvoter/liberalchristians.htm
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lpbk2713 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 08:34 AM
Response to Original message
6. Alternate title ............ "Neuroses for Dummies"
They gotta be kidding.
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Bob3 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 08:36 AM
Response to Original message
7. Jaw dropping weirdness -
I'm speechless do people actually still think like this? This was the norm in the 19th century.
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indigobusiness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 08:37 AM
Response to Original message
8. #12- Bang one of your underage wives
whenever you get the urge to touch yourself.

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Curious Dave Donating Member (173 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 09:41 PM
Response to Reply #8
38. YES!
Funniest post I have read in 6 months in DU. Thanks for making me laugh :)
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Radical Activist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 08:38 AM
Response to Original message
9. Funny, but
I'm not buying the (really!) part. If this actually came from the Mormon church then list a reference where it came from and how you got it. If not, this is a church that already gets picked on enough.
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Catch22Dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 08:41 AM
Response to Reply #9
10. I'd like to know if it's real too, but
NO church gets picked on enough.
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 08:57 AM
Response to Reply #9
11. It would not surprise me if it was real
My hubby was raised in a very strict religious home. Used to get told to pray if he had any "urges".
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jakefrep Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 10:38 AM
Response to Reply #11
14. I guess that means...
The average man would have to say a Hail Mary every six seconds.
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 12:31 PM
Response to Reply #14
22. Welcome to DU. :^)
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neebob Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 10:48 AM
Response to Reply #9
15. I was raised Mormon and I don't doubt it
I'm kinda surprised that he said don't pray about it, though. I guess he doesn't want God to be too busy to hear a bunch of old men who sit around behind closed doors, thinking up ways to control people and get more money.

Imagine the capacity of this church to traumatize teenagers. I often wonder what it would be like to read something like that and just automatically think it's completely deranged without having to stop and remind myself that it's bullshit and nothing bad will happen to me for thinking so.
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69KV Donating Member (444 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 11:03 AM
Response to Reply #9
16. the source
Edited on Sat Jun-19-04 11:06 AM by 69KV
Not a real Mormon document, I don't think.

See http://www.angelfire.com/on4/selfabuse/

edit: there are a bunch of websites that say it is genuine and dates from 1970.
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Sandpiper Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 07:47 PM
Response to Reply #9
30. Delete
Edited on Sat Jun-19-04 07:50 PM by Sandpiper
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OneBlueSky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 09:24 AM
Response to Original message
12. um . . . regarding number 3 . . .
3. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never associate with other people having the same weakness.

wouldn't that make you a hermit? . . .
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flamingyouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 09:30 AM
Response to Original message
13. Demented and sad
My mother is an excommunicated Mormon. I could tell stories. I won't here, but I could...:eyes:
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Lestat Donating Member (516 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 11:16 AM
Response to Original message
17. That's sad.
Our sex organs are there for enjoyment and reproduction. If you feel the urge to masturbate, do it! What's so shameful and wrong about that?
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oxymoron Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 11:17 AM
Response to Original message
18. This is the real deal.
Edited on Sat Jun-19-04 11:26 AM by oxymoron
I was raised a Mormon, and although this may not be a church sanctioned document, the author Mark E Peterson is (was?) a highly placed church official and prolific Mormon writer whose books are hawked by the church. I recall seeing this years ago as advice being given to the 18 year old missionaries.

Some very warped stuff.

On edit: Another quote from Mark E Peterson - "Sex education belongs in the home, where parents can teach chastity in a spiritual environment as they reveal the facts of life to their children. There, in all plainness, the youngsters can be taught that procreation is part of the creative work of God and that, therefore, the act of replenishing the earth must be kept on the high plane of personal purity that God provides, free from all forms of perversion."
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 11:25 AM
Response to Original message
19. That was very difficult to masturbate to
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realisticphish Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 12:22 PM
Response to Reply #19
20. lmao nt
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Selwynn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 12:29 PM
Response to Original message
21. My calendar is all black
I'm a failure...:D
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skooooo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 01:36 PM
Response to Reply #21
23. good for you!


bet you had a black Friday too.
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THUNDER HANDS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 01:39 PM
Response to Original message
24. the second part of No. 7
Um...aren't they violating that by reading this very same thing?

How ironic!
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Mz Pip Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 01:48 PM
Response to Original message
25. Start each day with
an enthusiastic activity.

Ah, yes.

MzPip
:dem:
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belladonna Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 01:53 PM
Response to Original message
26. So THAT'S what I should be going to the kitchen for
"6. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, GET OUT OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF A SNACK, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight."

Sounds to me like somebody's been thinking a little TOO much about masturbation... don't think about it, just DO it :evilgrin:
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rasputin1952 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 02:19 PM
Response to Original message
27. This is good stuff the next time these guys knock om my door!...
I once showed up at the door after taking a shower w/nothing but a towel on, and was in the process of cleaning a chicken for dinner. I asked if they could come back after the sacrifice and we could talk.
The joys of living in the high desert! I could see the dust from their car rushing away for over 2 miles...:D
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ForrestGump Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 04:06 PM
Response to Original message
28. The poor Osmonds.
It's a wonder that the average per capita weight of Utah's human population isn't 350 pounds. But what a radical concept...sublimate those urges into an appetite for food.

And are they really suggesting that one puts down any 'uprising' with a sound whack from The Book of Mormon?
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Sandpiper Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 07:41 PM
Response to Original message
29. Having spent two decades in the LDS church
Edited on Sat Jun-19-04 07:49 PM by Sandpiper
I've seen this document before, but I've never seen any convincing evidence that Mark E. Petersen was in fact the author.

It's a fairly common practice in the church for some no name member to write about something marvellous or outlandish, then attribute it to a prominent church leader to ensure maximum circulation. The nickname for them amongst the more cynical is "faith promoting rumors."

I've little doubt that this was written by a Mormon. I'm not sure that it was written by Mark E. Petersen though.
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Radical Activist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 08:40 PM
Response to Reply #29
32. That sounds more believable
This looks like it might be something a Mormon could have written, but doesn't look like something the church would officially distribute.
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oxymoron Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 09:27 PM
Response to Reply #29
36. I saw this document years ago...
Edited on Sat Jun-19-04 09:34 PM by oxymoron
and I am fairly certain it was officially distributed by the Mormon Church. I showed it to my brother (who served time as a Mormon Missionary), and he remembers it also. This would have been 30 years ago. My brother remembers it distributed as part of a "coming of age" pamphlet for young males.

I have to say that this was pretty standard fare for the Church in the '60's and '70's. Both sides of my family have been Mormon since the beginning of the church, and my great, great grandfather, was the first Bishop "anointed" by Joseph Smith, and is mentioned in their scripture.

Although this is very funny in retrospect, I also find it extremely sad on so many levels. I see the Mormon Church as a cult, and can't begin to describe the damage this can do to a young person. I spent a good number of years "getting over" my LDS upbringing.

My brother and I are gay, and the LDS Church has taken a terrible toll on our family. We have siblings and many relatives that barely speak to us, and don't want us near their children because of our so called "lifestyle".

Actually, I think all the sexual repression is what motivated me to leave the church at a young age.

All I can say is I had the best developed right arm in my high school.
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Swamp Rat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 08:33 PM
Response to Original message
31. Mormons... ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!!!

I've read this before when I lived in Salt Lake City. I remember laughing nonstop for a long time, and continued to laugh throughout the week... I haven't stopped... ha ha ha!

What a culture shock it was to move to SLC, coming from New Orleans where masturbation is an art form... Thank Bacchus and Dionysus that I moved back to my hedonistic home!

Thanks for posting this. What funny memories I have of the Mormon culture.
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yellowcanine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 09:17 PM
Response to Original message
33. My favorite.....
If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, GET OUT OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF A SNACK,
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name not needed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 09:22 PM
Response to Reply #33
35. I'll fix me a snack...
WITH MY PENIS!!!!!!1 }(
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Nevernose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 09:20 PM
Response to Original message
34. Oh no. Masturbation is a SIN? SHIT!
Why didn't anyone tell me? Man, I am SO burning in Hell...
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Prisoner_Number_Six Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 09:31 PM
Response to Original message
37. Just why do they think they're called "vital parts"?
Edited on Sat Jun-19-04 09:32 PM by Prisoner_Number_Six
:shrug:
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Bluebear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 09:50 PM
Response to Original message
39. 'GET OUT OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN'
If I had followed that advice at 13 I would have weighed 400 pounds.
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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-20-04 12:36 PM
Response to Original message
40. That is so darned sad.
I hope it's not something they actually gave to people. Those kinds of things can really f*ck a kid up.

I'm off now to go...um....protest! :7
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oxymoron Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-20-04 12:40 PM
Response to Reply #40
41. Yes, it is extremely sad.
And yes, I am pretty sure it was part of an official church publication.
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Speck Tater Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-20-04 12:44 PM
Response to Original message
42. ' tie a hand to the bed frame '
Maybe this is actually "code" for a bondage mannual. It sure does seem to be about both bondage and discipline.
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