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Well, first of all, I've worked with him twice, on David Cronenberg's "The Dead Zone", and on a crapfest called "Excess Baggage", with Alicia Silverspoon...
Anyway...I'm working on Excess Baggage, and this friend of mine gets a call from the Teamsters Hall to be Walken's personal driver for the duration of the shoot...
He goes throuhg this daily routine of picking up a New York Times and a Wall Street Journal for Walken every morning before picking him up, then arriving at Walken's hotel. Walken gets in every day, and immediately buries himself in either paper for the duration of the ride without uttering a word to my friend.
After a few days of absolute and uncomfortable silence, my friend can't bear it, and decides to initiate some sort of conversation with Walken.
"Good morning", he says, "how was your weekend?"
The newspaper falls, and Walken replies...
"Let me...ask you a riddle...what's the difference...between an orange?"
Long pause.
My friend rises to the bait...
"Uh, I dunno..."
To which Walken replies...
"Shut the fuck up!" and buries his head in the paper.
Resume uncomfortable silence...
Later in the shoot....
My friend the Teamster does the most amazing Christopher Walken impression you've ever heard. It's impeccable.
He's doing the complete monologue from "True Romance" one day at the craft service table, impersonating Walken to a "T". He's about half-way through, when Walken comes up behind him, un-noticed. My friend doesn't notice that those of us who were previously enjoying his impression have become completely ashen-faced as Walken arrives, and he continues on his perfect impression, body language and everything. He's so wrapped up in his impression that he continues into the "watch" monologue from "Pulp Fiction", and even into some of the "Zorin" lines from "A View to a Kill". Walken watches, completely expressionless, as my friend continues his incredible performance.
Eventually, my friend twigs to the reality that something has gone terriblyu, terribly wrong, and turns around to see Walken staring at him, as only Walken can. He basically folds into himself in embarrassment...
Cut to the wrap party, several months later...
Walken, who hasn't said a word to my friend since "shut the fuck up!", approaches him at the party.
Walken says:
"I...want to thank you for getting me to set and back...with such...finesse...I want you to do one more thing for me..."
My friend: "uh...okay..."
Walken guides my friend over to the table where most of the producers, including Silverstone, and their partners are seated, and says, as only Christpoher Walken can...
"This man...he is amazing...he does...the most excellent impressions..."
He then turns to my friend...
"Now...", he says, "...Do me..."
And forces my friend to perform the entire "True Romance" monologue in front of about 20 high-powered Hollywood people...
The end.
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