Exactly how wrong is it to date someone who works for you?

[Radical Activist]

Just curious what people think...purely hypothetical of course. Suppose the person in the subordinate position in this company is the one aggressively pursuing a relationship. Does that make a difference? Is it still a bad idea that will lead to disaster no matter what, even if neither person is married? Free advice and horror stories are welcome.

[blackcat77]

1. I don't know if it's really "wrong," but it's not a good idea

When you start blurring the relationships like that, it makes it very difficult to handle either they business or the romance correctly. And it make office politics a lot uglier as well -- if the employee gets a promotion, no matter how much it may be earned, everyone will just assume it was because of the romance.

[Radical Activist]

7. hmm....good point n/t

[Zomby Woof]

2. never get your meat

where you get your bread.

[Radical Activist]

4. Well that was profound.

:eyes:
lol funny though

[dobak]

3. If one is subordinate to the other

BAD, and not just because of sexual harrassment issues either...

While actual problems may never arise, your coworkers will likely have a big problem with it soon or later.

There will be perceived favoritism (better hours, less work, easier work, better clients, etc...) among other things.

stay away

[richmwill]

12. I agree

Bad move

[Exultant Democracy]

5. Is she someone who works for you

as in you are her boss or is she just someone in the company lower then you?

[Radical Activist]

9. For the purpose of argument lets say

its a direct subordinate employee and her boss.

[Exultant Democracy]

14. Well for the purpose of argument I would say

these things happen, but understand it could cost you your job, so you had better keep it on the low and try to transfer her before you start something up. Otherwise as my boss said to me one night while we were talking about the same thing "we be boys these things happen, just keep it all nice and hypothetical when you are talking to me."

[Career Prole]

6. Sexual harrassment charge waiting to happen.

You date, then things don't work out so you knock it off. Subordinate person starts getting petulant, being insubordinate. Your hands are tied I think, at that point, because of the social relationship. I could be wrong...I don't even play a lawyer on TV. :shrug:

[Kenneth ken]

8. exactly how wrong? COMPLETELY, TOTALLY n/t

[andino]

10. I think...

it all depends on how cute she is...

:)

[Kenneth ken]

16. sure - as long as

you don't have to personally pay the sexual harassment fines, and lawyer fees, etc.

[St. Jarvitude]

21. Hey, it's Buddy Jesus!

Dogma's gotta be one of the greatest movies ever made! :hi:

[2Design]

11. Power Differential......it is a very unequal relationship and

does not have a great foundation to build on....

[JVS]

13. It's damn wrong! Even if you're Bill Clinton

[dudeness]

15. its not wrong at all

do what you gotta do to get some lovin..but draw the line at relatives..ok??

[Dogmudgeon]

17. It all depends

If you're a man, don't do it. Gird your loins and pick up a porno mag on the way home.

If you're a woman, you've got some latitude. So use your common sense. Ideally, you would gird your loins and pick up a porno mag on the way home.

--bkl

[Hammie]

18. Firing offense where I work

[Don_G]

19. I Wouldn't

The last few years I worked with the Phone Company, I was the sole/ single/ unmarried male in an office teeming with over 50 women.

It was just as enjoyable as watching a tuna being tossed into a cat shelter.

If you have to, be EXTREMELY discreet and look for another job ASAP!

[LostInAnomie]

20. Go ahead. Do it.

Whats the worst that could happen?

Except for the losing your job thing, or the sexual harassment thing, or the rumors about your sexual habits or genitals, or having everyone you work with resent you.

Other than that you're in the clear.

[drumwolf]

22. Dating an employee may not necessarily be "wrong," strictly speaking...

.....but it's not a particularly prudent thing to do.

Aside from all the reasons everyone else has outlined, what happens if/when the two of you break up and both of you are still at the company at that point?

I don't necessarily have a problem with finding a girlfriend in my workplace, but if that were to happen, I would start looking at finding a different place to work.

I've got a couple of stories, one good and one bad.

I worked at an Internet startup a few years ago and two of my co-workers began dating while they were working there -- and they are now happily married. However, they didn't get serious about their romance or go public about it until after the male half of the relationship had been laid off (along with half the company). And then the woman found another job several months later (just shortly before our company went under).

Now I work at Tower Records, and my boss told me about two former employees who were dating and then had an ugly breakup while both still working there. The level of mutual harassment between the two of them got to the point where they were throwing shit at each other at the counter in front of employees, and finally, one night, while one person was in the countout room, the other propped up the door so that a heavy object would fall on the first person's head as soon as the door opened.

So, dating a co-worker isn't necessarily a bad idea.... as long as the two of you don't REMAIN co-workers for too much longer.

[qwertyMike]

23. Verrrrrrrrry wrong