http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4023BOSTON—Ending months of speculation, presidential hopeful Sen. John Kerry announced Tuesday that he has selected the young, vibrant, recently decorated war hero John Kerry as his running mate.
Above: Kerry (right) presents his running mate at a campaign event in Boston.
"In my search for a vice-president, I considered many qualified men and women," Kerry said, announcing his decision at Boston University. "But one man stood apart from the madding crowd as brave, honest, and full of life. One man displayed a true desire to change America for the better—not through political maneuvering, but through hard work. That man was me, 35 years ago."
Kerry said he was inspired to nominate John Kerry of 1969 by, of all things, a photo in a magazine.
"I was paging through Time and I came across a picture of a very proud, and, might I add, handsome 25-year-old man in full military uniform, just returning from the conflict in Vietnam," Kerry said. "He was strong, fit, and in the flower of youth. I couldn't look away. It was as if there was a light shining from within him. I knew that this man was destined for the White House."
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