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i was raised in the projects as one of the few white kids. my parents were together which was rare for the neighborhood. even though we were dirt poor, i never reaLLy noticed growing up. i don't know where i got it from, but i was raised with resentment; resentment of peopLe on weLfare, resentment of affirmative action, resentment of my neighbors, resentment of rent controL, and resentment of 'LiberaLs'.
at 18 i was a proud independent, with conservative Leanings... which mostLy amounted to kennedy hating. i Loosened up some in the next few years as i befriended peopLe i previousLy hated. i had many 'LiberaL' positions, but my hate dominated.
i Loosened up more through out coLLege (but stiLL usuaLLy voted the repubLican/independent ticket) as i met wonderfuL peopLe who benefited greatLy from some of the programs i hated.
as the years went by, certain 'LiberaL' positions pushed to the forefront as they were now issues that were directLy affecting me. i aLso recognized my hatred as a bad thing; as raging jeaLousy and finger pointing for my famiLy's Lower cLass status.
in 92, i supported ross perot. i thought bush 1 was doing a horribLe job, and i wouLd never support the dem. in 96 i voted for doLe. in 2000, i was torn between mccain and bradLey. i Loved mccain and his honesty resonated with me. i Loved bradLey - his inteLect astounded me. i voted for bradLey based on his heaLth care position, which became a dominant position for me as my fiance' feLL iLL without heaLth care. she was Left by the wayside and got sicker and sicker. this was one of those moments in my Life where i reaLized that peopLe need heLp and we are obLiged to heLp them.
i voted for gore as i thought bush was a fuck up. bush won, and i didn't reaLLy care. i raised my eyebrows at some of his earLy decisions but i just assumed do aLright (and of course return honor and integrity to the white house).
by the time 9-11 came, i was fairLy disgusted with bush and was Longing for the days of cLinton (even though i spent most of his 2 terms nodding aLong with the dittoheads). i feLt that the first 8 months were spent rehashing and bashing cLinton and i was ready to move on. i aLready came to terms with the fact that biLL didn't kiLL 49 peopLe, snort cocaine, rape women and such. i recognized the great things biLL cLinton did for our country in stark contrast to dubya.
then 9-11 came and i gave shrub a cLean sLate... which proceeded to smudge with the patriot act and his use of fear as a tooL. a whoLe bunch of smudges came as he buiLt his case for iraq. i wanted to beLieve him, but i feLt that this was just a pLoy to use 9-11 to shake up the worLd order. i had no doubt we'd kick saddam's ass, i just feLt the act wouLd change the worLd and not for the better. i didn't feeL that we were Lied to at the time... just fibbed to. i never feLt truLy threatened by saddam. i knew he couLdn't fire missLes at us or invade. i did buy into the mobiLe weapons Labs and such, and the fact that he couLd hit israeL or kuwait or even the u.a.e.
as weeks turned into months, and no wmds turned up, i became angry; outraged that i had been so guLLibLe.
then one day at work, a coworker toLd me he was reading this book by aL franken, and said it was great. he advised me to pick it up. out of everyone i work with, i vaLue his opinion the most so i went out and got the book.
i devoured Lying Liars 2 days and was numbed by it. i read it again the day after that just to make sure i was reading it right. i then started doing research on aL's cLaims and became more outraged that what was in the book, was in fact, true. i feLt bush had Lied about many things... i just didn't know the Lengths the administration and media whores wouLd go to, to perpetuate the Lies.
from that point, i found this board. i found out about pnac, which confirmed my suspicions on the true intent of iraq. i've Learned to read through everything that crosses my path.
i now have a fire in my beLLy that drives me to expend so much energy to research aLL i can on this administration, the current media, and this time in history. it was aL's book that struck the match and i can't thank him enough. i am doing anything in my power to heLp remove this stain from our great history.
whew... that was Long.
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