Betty Crocker straps on an egg beater and runs through New York's...

[NightTrain]

...Port Authority bus terminal. She grabs a passing nun, drags her into a dark corner, and anally violates her with the egg beater.

The Maytag Repairman happens by. "Excuse me. Why are you cornholing that nun with an egg beater?"

"How do you know it's an egg beater when it's all the way up her ass?"

"I have corkscrew vision."

"Oh! Well, to answer your question, I'm doing this to show the world that Tony Orlando was a misunderstood musical genius."

"What makes you say that?"

Ms. Crocker sighs wearily. "Another ignorant philistine! Look," her thrust in the nun's backside increasing in velocity, "he only *disguised* his music as callow, bubblegum dreck. In reality, Tony Orlando's records spoke volumes about the human psyche."

"Can you provide an example?"

"Sure! Take his first #1 hit, KNOCK THREE TIMES. On the surface it sounds like shit, but in reality that record is a scathing commentary on the fear we Americans have of communicating with each other. 'One floor below me, you don't even know me.' I mean, wow!"

For the first time, the nun speaks up. "What about SAY, HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY SWEET GYPSY ROSE? That's as existential as anything Sartre ever wrote."

"Yes," exclaims Ms. Crocker, pulling the egg beater out of the nun's behind. "Congratulations, sister! You've seen the Lite 'N' Lively!"

"So," says the nun, "can I go? I have to catch a tugboat to Nebraska."

The Maytag Repairman asks her, "What's in Nebraska?"

"Omaha." The nun continues on her merry way.

The Maytag Repairman places an arm around Betty Crocker's shoulders. "Did I ever tell you the history of the human species?"

"We just met."

"Oh! That's right. Well anyway, once upon a time, about seven or eight years ago, there was this bespectacled South Dakotan amoeba named Sid...."

[Joanne98]

1. I liked your thread expect it to get jerked though. Anal is not allowed.

My sister and I were thinking about starting a "web site soap opera". We want to call it" The Republicans". Kinda like a modern day web "Dallas". What do ya think?

[NightTrain]

2. But jerking is?

:evilgrin:

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

3. Wow. I think I heard someone mutering this story out loud

in the PA bus terminal once.

Was that you?


Get some help, dude.