My own list of THE 50 WORST SONGS OF THE 1980s

[NightTrain]

I created this list back around 1995. Since we're talking about bad Gen-X pop today, I figured why not post my own choices for the worst songs of the '80s? So here they are. Let the flame war begin!

1. ROCK ME AMADEUS, Falco (1986)
2. I'VE NEVER BEEN TO ME, Charlene (1982)
3. GOD BLESS THE U.S.A, Lee Greenwood (1983)
4. MEDLEY, Stars On 45 (1981)
5. TWIST OF FATE, Olivia Newton-John (1984)
6. XANADU, Olivia Newton-John (1980)
7. YOU'VE LOST THAT LOVIN' FEELIN', Daryl Hall & John Oates (1980)
8. IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME BY NOW, Simply Red (1989)
9. HANGIN' TOUGH, New Kids On The Block (1989)
10. BUST A MOVE, Young MC (1989)

11. WE ARE THE WORLD, U.S.A. For Africa (1985)
12. BLAME IT ON THE RAIN, Milli Vanilli (1989)
13. I KNEW YOU WERE WAITING (FOR ME), Aretha Franklin & George Michael (1987)
14. IT'S NOW OR NEVER, John "Bo Duke" Schneider (1981)
15. MORNING TRAIN (9 TO 5), Sheena Easton (1981
16. WE BUILT THIS CITY, Starship (1985)
17. EMOTIONAL RESCUE, The Rolling Stones (1980)
18. THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR, Dionne Warwick & Friends (1986)
19. RUSSIANS, Sting (1985)
20. DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY, Bobby McFerrin (1988)

21. HIP TO BE SQUARE, Huey Lewis & The News (1986)
22. ELVIRA, The Oak Ridge Boys (1981)
23. THE FLAME, Cheap Trick (1988)
24. CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING, R.E.O. Speedwagon (1985)
25. MR. ROBOTO, Styx (1983)
26. MANIAC, Michael Sembello (1983)
27. REALLY WANNA KNOW YOU, Gary Wright (1981)
28. ESCALATOR OF LIFE, Robert Hazard (1983)
29. THE REFLEX, Duran Duran (1984)
30. PILOT OF THE AIRWAVES, Charlie Dore (1980)

31. WRACK MY BRAIN, Ringo Starr (1981)
32. GOT MY MIND SET ON YOU, George Harrison (1988)
33. WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE, Billy Joel (1989)
34. IT'S STILL ROCK AND ROLL TO ME, Billy Joel (1980)
35. BABY TALKS DIRTY, The Knack (1980)
36. BABY I LOVE YOUR WAY/FREEBIRD MEDLEY, Will To Power (1988)
37. YOU CAN'T HURRY LOVE, Phil Collins (1983)
38. JESSIE'S GIRL, Rick Springfield (1981)
39. AT THIS MOMENT, Villy Vera & The Beaters (1981/1987)
40. HOLD ON TO THE NIGHTS, Richard Marx (1988)

41. HOOKED ON CLASSICS, The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra (1981)
42. LOST IN YOUR EYES, Debbie Gibson (1989)
43. THE HEAT IS ON, Glenn Frey (1985)
44. WHEN I'M WITH YOU, Sheriff (1983/1989)
45. WHAT I AM, Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians (1988)
46. EBONY AND IVORY, Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder (1982)
47. THE GIRL IS MINE, Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson (1982)
48. PAC-MAN FEVER, Buckner & Garcia (1982)
49. THE LIVING YEARS, Mike + The Mechanics (1989)
50. FUNKY TOWN, Pseudo Echo (1987)

[HEyHEY]

1. You didn't like Bust a move?

I love that tune

"In the city, ladies look pretty, guys tell jokes so they can seem witty."

[NightTrain]

2. I hate corporate rap!

n/t

[HEyHEY]

Was it really corporate back then?

Had they glommed their sticky fingers on that early?

[NightTrain]

8. Compare "Bust A Move" to something like...

...Run-DMC's "It's Like That" or Afrika Bambaataa's "Looking For The Perfect Beat." I think you'll understand why I consider the Young MC track about as passionate as toothpaste.

[HEyHEY]

9. ah...yes I see

[TroubleMan]

33. Young MC reallllllllyyyyyyy sucked..

Just listen to that song that said "off to the principal's office you go"...

:puke:

That should be on that list.

[camero]

3. Can't argue with that list

I thought the video for Don't Worry Be Happy was pretty funny though.

[Guy Fawkes]

4. Does this mean...

that you won't take me to funky town?


(Guess I shouldn't mention I'm a Parliament Funkadelic fan...)

[NightTrain]

12. Note which version of "Funky Town" made the list.

Not the original by Lipps Inc, but the unbelievably stupid remake from seven years later.

If I were to compile a rank-ordered list of my favorite '80s songs, the original "Funkytown" would be somewhere in the top five!

[Guy Fawkes]

13. I didn't see that... thank you

for pointing it out...

[muchacho]

5. Emotional Rescue?!

It's a great song.

Jagger's nasty falsetto...you will be mine you will be mine all mine.....

[NightTrain]

7. Worst. Stones. Song. Ever!!!

Whose bright idea was it to have Jagger sing in goddamned falsetto, anyway? :puke:

[muchacho]

15. wrong...

worst Stones song ever would be Undercover of the Night.

[belladonna]

24. Wrong

Worst Stones song would be Start Me Up.

[TOhioLiberal]

6. There's about 6 songs I like....

...the rest I agree with. No flame here...unless ya wanna insult my musical preferences...:)

[NightTrain]

22. Nah, I'd never insult your musical tastes.

After all, you were so sweet to me when I was going through that bad stretch a couple of weekends back! :hug:

[TOhioLiberal]

31. Always here for ya.... n/t

[happyending]

10. LOL

2. I'VE NEVER BEEN TO ME, Charlene (1982)

Now, really, has there ever been a pop song that was worse than that?

[EstimatedProphet]

39. Yes, there has-slightly

Anything by Bobby Goldsboro

[terrya]

11. I love "Xanadu"....:-) I sure can't argue with "Mr. Roboto", though...

Ick.

[Seeking Serenity]

14. You forgot . . .

"Walkin' on Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves (year unknown, uncared)

"I Want a New Drug" by Huey Lewis and the News

"Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" by Wham.

[Jade Fox]

16. Best right next to the worst....

I love "Jessie's Girl", but "At This Moment" is unspeakable.

Dang, I never realized how many bad songs there were in that
decade until I saw them all listed like that!

[jobycom]

17. What, no Rick Astley? I can agree with a couple on your list

But leaving off Rick Astley sort of undermines the whole thing.

[leftofthedial]

18. damn! that list makes my skin crawl

great job putting that one together.

Glad it wasn't me.

[Bossy Monkey]

19. I had no idea anybody outside Philadelphia had even heard of

Robert Hazard. I knew he built a mansion on the proceeds of writing the line "Girls Just Want To Have Fun" (Nice work if you can get it, huh?) but had no idea that Escalator of Life got airplay beyond the Delaware Valley. Kinda fun bad local new wave, I always thought.

Typo at #39. I'm no fan of Billy Vera, but enjoyed his cameo as Blue Blazer Irregular Pinky Carruthers in Buckaroo Banzai. If only he'd have quit his music career to be an actor...

[Kat45]

29. Oh yeah. I had the Robert Hazard disc, and I'm in Boston.

Not just local Philly. I really liked that song. Wouldn't like it now, but I did back then.

[Deja Q]

20. Well, you have a ONJ song in there, but the worst has got to be "Physical"

Again, by our illustrious Olivia Newton-John.

:puke:

She doesn't even sing the words. :eyes:

[NightTrain]

21. Actually, I have TWO Olivia Newton-John songs on the list.

Both of which I picked because they also had painfully bad movies to accompany them!

[belladonna]

23. I'm with you on all but two

I kinda liked If You Don't Know Me By Now, and At This Moment brings back memories. Not good ones, so you'd think I'd hate the song, eh? I would also add anything done by the Stones in the 80's to your list :D

[NightTrain]

25. Are you familiar with the 1972 original of "If You Don't Know Me By Now?"

It's by Harold Melvin & The Bluenotes, featuring Teddy Pendergrass on lead. If you know that version, you'll understand why I despise Simply Red's desiccated remake. :puke:

[belladonna]

26. Okay, I'll give you that

The original was MUCH better than Simply Red's cover, but I still wouldn't put it in my top 50

[amandabeech]

32. It's almost as bad a Phil Collins desecrating a Supremes song!

"Can't Hurry Love" in his insipid voice and that mewling arrangement.

Bazooka Barfing!

I wish singers would simply leave original R&B/Soul/Motown tunes as they are. And that includes Funk/Disco "Funkytown." I can get into the original groove, but the remake--Bleah.

[Waverley_Hills_Hiker]

27. remarkable list ! I have only one disagreement.

"What I Am" isn't too bad, for me....and Funky Town....seems that that song is older than the 80s? I recall it as an "ok" disco tune. The rest on that list are pretty lame, true....

[NightTrain]

28. Again, the "Funky Town" I picked was NOT the 1980 original.

It was the stupid techno-country remake that went Top Ten in 1987. Surely somebody else heard it back then? :shrug:

[Kat45]

30. Good choices of bad songs.

I can't stand most of them now, couldn't stnad them then; a few I did like. And since I agree with most of your choices, I consider myself lucky that I don't know a number of them--never heard of your #2. And I was blissfully unaware of the Lee Greenwood song.

Funny (or not so funny) thing is, I've had that fucking song "Ebony & Ivory" going through my head all day today--you know how sometimes you realize that's happening when you hear yourself actually singing a few notes and wonder where the fuck that came from! I had finally gotten it out of my head, and I sure hope it doesn't come back again now after seeing it on your list.

[TroubleMan]

34. "The Pee Wee Herman Dance"

That one sucked hard.

[Name removed.]

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[TroubleMan]

40. Whoa....3 messages all deleted

I didn't know we had a Joeski Love (the artist of the Pee Wee Herman Dance) fan or a Pee Wee Herman fan.

I wish I could have seen what he/she said. I didn't even get to read them.

[Radical Activist]

38. There are a few songs on here I like...

but no doubt the 80's had the most bad music of any modern decade. What were people thinking? Was everyone using cocaine?

[EstimatedProphet]

41. Only thing on the list I disagree with

#45-What I am by Edie Brickell
I didn't like it at first but it grew on me. And the line "Religion is a smile on a dog" is deeper than typical bubblegum crap on the radios in the 80's.

[LWolf]

42. Good list.

I agree with about 45/50. And the 5 missing aren't favorites; just not "worst."

Is that list from least worst to most worst or most to least?

[NightTrain]

43. The list is "most to least."

AFAIC, nothing that came out of the '80s was more hideous than "Rock Me Amadeus." I've hated that song since the first time I heard it! :grr::nuke: