What is Bill Clinton responsible for?

[scottcsmith]

We all know that conservatives like to blame Bill Clinton for a lot of different things. I got to thinking, what is Bill Clinton responsible for? And I came up with a list, based on hours of research. My list is probably not complete, but I'm sure my fellow DUers can help in creating a complete list of Bill Clinton's many, many transgressions.

In no particular order:

-- The boy band craze.
-- E-coli bacteria.
-- Martha Stewart's stock troubles.
-- Dr. Phil.
-- The movie Gigli.
-- Howard Dean's televised meltdown (Bill Clinton has eerie, unexplainable psychic powers).

-- Killing Clara Peller (The "Where's The Beef" lady from the 1980s, however, at this point, it's just a RUMOR).

-- Creating 90% of all "Gap" television advertisements (Bill's a busy guy).

-- Inventing the "mullet" with his brother, Roger.

What else has the evil Bill Clinton done?

[NightTrain]

1. He turned me into a newt!

"A newt?"
"I got better."

[Wetzelbill]

2. The "I'm Lovin' It " McDonald's campaign

Damn him!

[lancdem]

6. LOL

Those commercials ARE really annoying.

[FarmerOak]

3. He hid my keys.

eom

[scottcsmith]

9. OH MY GOD! You, too?

My keys vanished and I could have sworn I smelled Big Macs as someone ran through my condo, and before I knew it the thief was gone.

[FarmerOak]

12. I'm pretty sure it was him,

but my house always smells like Big Macs.

Mmmmmm.... Big Macs....

[Bertha Venation]

15. LOL at you AND FarmerOak

Y'all ain't right!

[lolly]

20. All those missing socks

And WHY does he take only one of each pair?

[Aristus]

4. Commercials for 'Mentos' mints.

Damn you, Bill! :+

[Speck Tater]

5. That flat tire I had last week. n/t

[NoPasaran]

7. Oral sex

Before the Big Dawg, it meant just talking about it.

[MikeG]

34. Thank you Clenis!! Thank You!!

[Burma Jones]

8. He gave me the Gout dagnabbit

[Wetzelbill]

10. ruining the good name of my first name

Now all Bills are known as horned up, slick talking guys who only want to nail every woman in sight.

Uh, well....I'll just plead the fifth on this one.

[SarahB]

11. Cigargasms

(not that there's anything wrong with that) :7

[Maccagirl]

13. More than a few dirty dreams

Damn I miss that man!

:evilgrin:

[TOhioLiberal]

23. Oh....Yes!

I agree with that Maccagirl! :evilgrin:

[Bertha Venation]

14. As much as I miss him as Prez, and admire him, I doubt I'll ever get over

the fact that he compromised on gays in the military, and the fact that he signed DOMA.

I guess even good leaders aren't immune to hypocrisy.

[Rabrrrrrr]

16. Waterworld and Postman, and also Jurassic Park II

and the remake of Psycho.

[LostInAnomie]

17. He knocked me and my girlfriend up

and I'm a guy.

He's just that damn charismatic.

[Rabrrrrrr]

18. Disney giving benefits to partners of homersexuals

[Rabrrrrrr]

19. Kurt Cobain's "suicide"

[Darranar]

21. Vile, lie-beral concepts like justice, equality, and tolerance. n/t

[2cents]

22. To me, Bill's responsible for:

a) Chelsea

b) the possibility of budget surpluses/paying off the debt

c) great first episode of "Love American Style" (should they ever resurrect the show)

[AmandaRuth]

24. I think he must have been the one who hooked Bob Dylan up

with Victoria's Secret.

[texas1928]

25. I am pretty sure he is really responsible

for eye boogers, and Bloom County going away.

[icymist]

26. The movie '10.5'!

[orthogonal]

27. Clinton put Shrubya in the white House

Let's be honest: Bill Clinton's responsible for Gore's defeat.

One very big reason I and a lot of other people were not excited about Gore and were willing to give Shrub a chance -- if only by not doing anything to oppose his election -- was because of disgust over Clinton's lying (for me it was the lying, not the sex), and fatigue from the whole impeachment battle.

Had Clinton been less selfish, had he cared more about his party and his country that his zipper and his "legacy", he would have done the honorable thing and resigned.

And had he done so, we'd have Gore in the White House right now and I suspect several more seats in the House and Senate. And Ashcroft would be preaching somewhere, and Rummy would be writing his memoirs, and 700 dead American soldiers would be likely be alive.

[EstimatedProphet]

29. Sorry, I think Gore is responsible for that

Had he NOT avoided campaigning with Clinton, I think he could have used Clinton's charisma as a boost. The "Clinton is the sole force of evil" crowd wasn't as strong in 2000 as it is now with 4 years of the true force of evil reinforcing the mindset at every step. Also, frankly Gore should have body-slammed Dumbassya in the debates, but he held back. He should have let loose with everything and showed the undecideds what the selection really was. And don't get me started about Florida...

[lolly]

31. Sorry, no dice

Anybody who actually READ anything available about AWOL, his record in Texas, his "military" record, or his business dealings--and there was plenty of that info available in 2002--would have known who the real liar was in that contest.

If you've wised up, that's good, but if you really believed that Clinton's affair was a good reason to vote for AWOL over Gore, then you can only blame your own laziness and lack of diligence.

FWIW, the Starr smear machine was in full force against Clinton before he even MET Lewinsky. People who convinced themselves that "where there's smoke, there must be fire" were ignoring the tactics of the wingnuts.

[Mrs. Overall]

28. That darn jerk, Clinton,

was responsible for creating a climate in which my spouse and I could:

buy a home
buy a new car
be employed with great high tech job
receive stock options
have feelings of well-being and security

We lost all these things (except house, which we almost lost) in 2001 when * came along and awoke us out of our American Dream.

[FireHeart]

30. The Extinction of the dinosaurs.

And much, much more!

For example, there is DOCUMENTED, UNDENIABLE proof, that Bill Clinton seduced female dinosaurs away from their biological mates thus causing a severe lowering of birth rates. Then, in order to cover up his terrible crime, he sent a giant asterioid to collide with the earth in order to erase all the evidence. He then took a 250 million year vacation on the island resorts of Alpha Centaurus.

Or something like that. :evilgrin:

[furrylitldevil]

32. That crazy "peace craze" of the mid to late 90's

Lord knows there's nothing worse than a country in peacetime. A country at war is so much more easily mislead and manipulated than a country in peace. DAMN HIM!!!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

33. Several ice shelves in the Artic melting

If he hadn't have gotten a blow job...Gore would be president and golbal warming would be treated seriously so it's Clinton's penis's fault.

[scottcsmith]

35. Introduced the "Nutria" into the United States

Yes, Bill Clinton is responsible for introducing the "Nutria," a large rodent that looks like a cross between a rat and a beaver, into the United States in the early 1930s. Using secret government time-travel technology, Clinton travelled to South America, collected dozens of Nutria, and then set them free in places like Louisiana and Texas.



DAMN YOU BILL CLINTON!