Help me decide how much $$$ to donate to DU

[burythehatchet]

Here's how:

1. Tell us a (funny) joke - $1

2. Say something genuinely nice about a fellow DUer with whom you frequently disagree - $1

3. Share a pearl of wisdom that would help a person deal with the abomination that is George W. Bush* - $1

I will not put a time limit on this challenge, but I will have to put a limit on the total amount.

So make us laugh, be kind to your fellow DUer, or help us cope!!

[Paradise]

1. You have a dollar? Nice, nice BTH :) n/t

[tkulesa]

2. That's a tough request

1. I'm not a funny guy. If I tell a joke even I might not get it. :P

2. There is nobody here that I consistently disagee with. When I find that I disagree with someone I search for their other posts, find a bunch I agree with and reassure myself that we're all mostly human beings.

3. I guess #2 would be the closest I can offer to a pearl of wisdom.

[burythehatchet]

5. You only have to do one of the 3, so you rang the register

thanks

[Misunderestimator]

3. Ok... this is a rather physical joke, but here goes

Why was Jesus Christ crucified rather than stoned to death?

So that Christians can do this (making sign of cross on forehead and chest)...

instead of this (pounding self with fists, or.... making gestures to fend off stones)

[burythehatchet]

6. I'll accept that, but if I ever see you you'll have to perfrom the joke

:)

[sybylla]

4. My favorite joke

I've told it here before but I'm sure there are many who haven't seen it. It's WMD good and should be worth $2.

To preface, we here in Wisconsin and Minnesota tell a lot of Sven and Ole jokes - poking fun at our Scandinavian relatives and neighbors.

Well, one day, Ole is in need of a new milk cow. He hears about a nice one for sale over the border in Wisconsin. He drives over to Wisconsin, looks at the cow,and reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the teat and pulls, the cow farts. Ole is very surprised, looks at the farmer who is selling the cow and reaches under the cow to try again. He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again. Milk does come out, however, so after some discussion, Ole decides to buy the cow and take it home.

He calls over his neighbor, Sven, and says "Come over and look at dis new cow I just bought. Pull her teat, and see vat happens." Sven reaches under and pulls; the cow farts. Sven looks at Ole and says, "You bought dis cow in Visconsin, yah? Ole is very surprised and says, "Yah, dats right, how did you know?" Sven says, "My wife is from Wisconsin."

[burythehatchet]

7. You had me at farts