The Yes-Siree-Bob of all CAPTIONS!!!!

[skip fox]

"No, no, I insist. Go ahead and shake. I'll wash my hand in a minute. It's no big thing . . . Really."

[sniffa]

1. i know your peopLes' secret hand shake

i'm cooL, i swear!

[GOPisEvil]

2. Hey - it works for Moises Alou and Jorge Posada.

[wysimdnwyg]

3. Hey, Karl!

This guy spit in my hand. Is that how these dark-skinned people say hello now?

[indigobusiness]

4. "You touched me..."

"...you touched my hand..."

[kodi]

5. "and there it was, my own hand. man, was i stoned that night in '67"

.

[skip fox]

6. Hmmm. . . Evocative

:toast:

[Bertha Venation]

7. See, this is what we call "white." You're not white. You're black.

I guess you could probably self-governate, if you follow my example and take Jesus as your personal savior. Maybe.

[cosmicdot]

8. W: let me get this straight...on the one hand, you say you're from Africa

on the other hand ... you say your name is Jose Eduardo dos Santos ...

[Misunderestimator]

9. Rock, Paper, Nukes?

[Misunderestimator]

10. What do you mean, I can't rub your Head? My hand's clean.

[truthbetold]

11. Oh no...

"My hand, it's TALKING to me again! ...It tells me to burn things."

[VOX]

12. "Oh, man -- I have FINGERS! I never noticed that before!"

"Learn sumptin' new every day."

[zbdent]

13. "I am sorry Mr. pResident Bush, but in my country,

'Trust Me' is another way to say 'Fuc- you!'"

[Fenris]

14. "I am really glad to meet you...(looks crib notes on hand)..."

"...President Jose Eduardo dos Santos of Angola."

[ScreamingMeemie]

15. And so, the result of your AIDS test was......?

:hi:

[underpants]

16. Can I borrow about 100,000 of your troops?

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease!

[pdx_prog]

17. We have this lawn jockey at the ranch

That is always standing in the yard with it's arm and hand out like this.....been there for years. It's SO damn cute....always just standing there...I nicknamed him "Tom" many years ago.....always pat his head when I enter the house....mid if I rub your head?

[pdx_prog]

18. Well....you line them up against the jail cell

make them take their pants down, then you slap their asses with the flat of your hand like this.....hahaha....then you make them lay down on top of each other naked.....walk around and slap them some more....I highly recommend it to anyone...

[BringEmOn]

19. "Uhhh...that wasn't a Pentecostal handshake....Did you..uh..happen to see

a packet of white powder that was in my hand?"