Here's a question for a late night

[supernova]

OK, I admit to being a very independent woman. It's not that I try to prove anything to anyone.... I just am. I was raised that way.

Here's the problem with that. It seems my lot in life to attract momma's boys. I can't seem to attract anything else... like the real men that I'd really like! :shrug: It's not that I want a MB, they seem to follow me around like a fish after bait.

I don't know what to do except keep throwing them back, but not attracting the kind of mand I could build a life with.

Any suggestions, because I sure am out of them?

[GOPisEvil]

1. If I could answer a question like that,

I wouldn't still be single. :evilgrin:

I wish I had the answer for you. :shrug:

[supernova]

3. It really is a pain

b/c I feel like I keep running into people who are .... immature.... to be kind. And I keep hoping... well, maybe this time....

*sigh*

[camero]

2. MB's are attracted to strong women

Because they are like their mommas. But I'm weird. I want to share everything. Including the decision making.

That's probably why I'm still single. :shrug:

[supernova]

5. I have noticed that

they expect you to give them the S&M treatment. They expect to be dominated.

Frankly, I'm tired. I'd like someone to share the decisions with. I'd like a back up.

[camero]

9. Being single sucks

I would take KMA's approach. Just go after what you want and eventually you will find it.

It's not easy to do I know but when it comes right down to it, it's that simple really. The MB's will just have to take the hint.

We all have to eventually.

[supernova]

12. Thanks for that, camero

I must add that I'm sensitive by nature and HATE to give people the brush off, but it has to be done.

[KissMyAsscroft]

4. Start approaching guys that you like...

Just go for it. Find a guy that isn't a momma's boy and go for it.

There really isn't any magic cure, you just have to have fun with it I think.

[supernova]

8. Maybe that's the secret

I really am confused about guys and what y'all expect from women.

I just want someone who sees me. :cry:

[KissMyAsscroft]

23. You just gotta let go, and stop caring what they think..

Work on yourself, make sure you look good and feel good about yourself...and just let go. Stop caring so much, be a smartass....act however you want to.

Whatever you do, you can't come off as wounded or desperate. You have to give yourself permission to be the woman you know you are.

And if you find a good guy, be sweet to him and keep him on his toes.

[NMDemDist2]

6. you will always attract em, just don't take em

it takes a heck of a guy to put up with us hard headed wimmins

I found mine in AA but that is not recommended (unless you need AA hehehe)

My best advice is make friends with the guys you like. FRIENDS!! when you have a few real guy friends, one day a switch will click and you'll have a lover who is your friend first

and after 10 years of marriage i can tell you friendship will take you thru times of no sex better than sex will take you thru times of no friendship :)

good luck my sisterfriends!

[supernova]

10. I'm working on having more guy friends

That's my ideal scenario to be honest. I'd love to have a friend who turned out to be a lover.

Heh. I love your last sentence. :7

[SarahB]

7. The one thing I can think of

is to not be afraid to show just a little what makes you feel and be vulnerable. I have different issues (but I can understand and relate in a sense), but I think sometimes if we can express ourselves enough to show we're more than just a rock to be leaned on, we'll attract more than those who want to use us as simply that rock.

Life is about balance- you're there for him and he can be there for you. Giving and receiving. Often, you can see very quickly if they're willing to be reciprocal or not in their behavior.

[supernova]

11. That's true

but often my initial persona is very "strong" to others because I am rather shy and it takes a while for me to get to know people.

[Deja Q]

13. Silly question, how is a "momma's boy" defined?

Guy with latent homosexual tendencies?

Guy who wants his mommy or someone just like his mommy? :-) (in which case, that's 99% of American men...)

A wimp?

Why not? Are all momma's boys the same in personality?

[supernova]

14. Guy who wants his mommy

- someone like her or similar to her. Warning sign: "you cook/clean/sing/do ceramics just like momma."

- or wants someone to compete with mommy for his attention because he can't decide what his priorities are.

Frankly, I'm tired of being last on the list or 'the same as' momma.

I just want to be loved and desired for me.

edit: far as I know, it has nothing to do with being gay or straight. I think MBs are in both persuasion camps. But since I'm not gay, I can't say, specifically what a gay momma's boy would be like. But I'd watch out for symptom #2.

[flowomo]

15. What exactly is a "real man"??

[supernova]

16. I would think

that would be obvious: someone who takes responsibility for himself.

[flowomo]

17. Not as obvious as you might think....

men who have trouble taking responsibility are nonetheless real... and I know some men who have trouble taking responsibility (as others define it) but who have such other overwhelmingly fine qualities (caring, generosity, cheerfulness or any of a long list of desirable qualities) that they are wonderful partners for the "real" women in their lives. Just my opinion.

[supernova]

19. Those qualitys make a decent friend

but when push comes to shove, when the rubber meets the road, <insert your favorite clche here>, he will choose his mother over you every time. Or always compare you to her (mom always does it this way....)

Bottom line: It means I'm not being seen and appreciated for me.

[TheWizardOfMudd]

18. You need to suck it up and depend on a man to do some things for you

It is the general nature of a man to want to provide, do things, for a woman. Except for mamas' boys, I guess.

[supernova]

20. I would love to find that

I just don't know where they are. :shrug:

Seriously, I'm the most out of touch woman.

Edit: most of the men that I've thought I would like have turned out not to want to give me the time of day. :shrug: So perhaps it's better that they didn't reciprocate.

[Rowdyboy]

21. Now wait just a minute....

A "mama's boy" typically is sincerely dedicated to family
A "mama's boy" rarely cheats in a relationship
"Mama's boys" are usually more sensitive to what women want and try to make them happy.

Those "real men"...they just love to use their testosterone and spread their seed. They love sharing their bodies with your best friend (hell, they really don't LOVE her like they LOVE you-its just biology).

I was a "mama's boy". I helped her raise my younger brothers and sisters. She cried on my shoulder when my dad fucked her over. When he abandoned her and left her sick and unable to care for herself, my brother (another wimpy "mama's boy") took her in for a couple of years. Then my partner (another of those damned MB's) took her into his home and we treated her like a queen for the rest of her life.

No, we're not really exciting. We don't make your skin crawl with anticipation. But we're there. We're steady. We're reliable. We may not be pretty (we RARELY are)and we probably have boring jobs (we're not roustabouts or pilots or truck drivers). Hell, many of us a (gasp) balding.

I know there are some guys with serious issues about their mothers. Beware of them-they are definite losers. But just because a guy loves, appreciates, and takes care of his mom shouldn't make you rule him out.

Be careful what you ask for; you may get it.

[TheWizardOfMudd]

22. Good on ya!

!

[supernova]

25. Good for you Rowdyboy

that you and your partner cared for your mother during her waning years. She deserved it. That's as it should be. You both sound like wonderful guys.

This is the type of person to whom I am referring: I know there are some guys with serious issues about their mothers. Beware of them-they are definite losers.

[huellewig]

24. I'm confused, I don't know what I am.

A single male at 26 that has lacked a motherly type in his life since the age of twelve. I take care of myself, sort of. I go days without eating (about 36 hours currently) this is normal. Around women I give in and resist a fight. Normally with GF's I just end up leaving. A simple "thanks for the goods times, but see ya later" I let things build up and when I snap, I leave.

It's not healthy, I need to be more vocal, Little explosions instead of dropping the A-bomb.

I still feel like a boy, not once have I ever called myself a man. I'm just not a mamma's boy. I think. Since I don't have a mother in my life it's hard to apply that term to myself.