OMG!!! TOTALLY FORGOT!!! BAR IS OPEN DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!

[matcom]

:bounce:

sorry folks. we have been closed for a while due to renovations. BUT WE ARE OPEN AGAIN!!! :toast:

now, since its been a LONG while, let me go over the rules then point out some of our improvements.

RULES

MY bar means you $$ ain't good here. i gots ALL kinds of booze so whatever you fancy, I can make it! no money please, as all proceeds go directly to "The Society of Bi-Sexual Twin Nymphomaniacs Who Adore Matcom And Everything He Touches." If you want to make a direct donation, please place your money in the collection plate that will be circulated by their treasurer, LynneSinn.

Features

We have a new jukebox loaded with all the latest tunes, help yourselves for only $10.00 (buys you 2 songs) and Kereokee starts promptly at 9:00 pm. Tonight, we are celebrating with an opening performance by Whitacre D_WI who will pay tribute to our Grand re-opening by singing his Medley titled: "Whitney ain't got nuttin' on MY hero Matcom."

We now have a Go-Go Cage. Skittles NORMALLY will 'perform' inside but we will have amateur hour starting at 8:00 pm.

The Jell-O pool is open and full - we invite all patrons to participate at will.

We have installed a butter dispenser in the east corner. It is free but any abuse will be noted by management.

We have added dressing rooms off the dance floor. They are mirrored and have no doors but do what you like with them.

So, DOORS ARE OPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BELLY ON UP TO THE BAR DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:

[flamingyouth]

1. Chinaco Anejo, por favor!

Happy Cinco de Mayo!!:D

[matcom]

5. Gracias!

:beer:

[FarLeftRage]

9. Great Choice!

Barkeep, I'll have the same...

Mucho Gracias!!

[matcom]

10. Denada

:beer:

[Missy Vixen]

75. flamingyouth, I think I'll join you

Might I have a bit of Chinaco Anejo as well, barkeep?

Gracias!
Julie

[Fenris]

2. Lookin' good there matcom!

Renovations served you and the bar well!

[matcom]

6. thankee thankee

careful with the toilets though, Underpants did the plumbing :eyes:

:beer:

[Fenris]

12. Too late. You might need a janitor in stall #3.

[matcom]

21. we don't HAVE a stall #3!

x(

[Fenris]

26. Uh oh. Well, I think your sink is clogged.

:o

[Angelus]

3. I'll have a long island iced tea...por favor!

[matcom]

7. you got it!

:beer:

[Angelus]

15. Thanks.

:toast:

[chimpymustgo]

4. Really like what you've done with the place.

Couldn't come at a better time!

:toast:

[matcom]

8. thank you very much

we aim to please :beer:

[wryter2000]

11. A double

The Glenlivet, please. Just pour it in a crystal tumbler and hand it over. :evilgrin:

[matcom]

13. i'll SHOW it to the tumbler and hand you the bottle

:D

:beer::beer:

[wryter2000]

50. Thanks!

That's what I call service!

[VelmaD]

14. It's Cinco de Mayo...

so gimma a shot of the nastiest cheap tequila you got. :evilgrin:

[matcom]

16. my pleasure

take an advil with it :D

:beer:

[VelmaD]

17. I don't need no stinkin' Advil...

Set me up with another.

You know after 3 or 4 more I'm gonna drag you up onstage to karaoke "Stand By You Man" with me. :)

[BarbaRosa]

18. The place looks good

Can't stay long, got things to see and people to do, but hey, I'll take a Rusty Nail and toast the new bar.:toast:

[matcom]

19. thankee thankee

here ya go

:beer:

[SarahB]

20. I'm at school killing time, so no drinks (ok, a club soda), BUT....

Can you and any other gentlemen here do any naked dancing for me while I wait? :bounce:

[matcom]

22. i don't really dance

but i could 'entertain' you nonetheless :D

:beer:

[SarahB]

23. I want pictures!!!

:evilgrin:

[matcom]

24. pictures???

"reach out, reach out and touch someone............"

[SarahB]

25. Ex-squeeze-me?

:shrug:

[matcom]

27. why look when you can TOUCH!

:D

[SarahB]

28. Yeah, right.

You men just like to jerk my gerkin.

[matcom]

29. no, we would like YOU to do the jerkin'

:D

:spank: Matcom :spank:

[SarahB]

30. We?

Who's we? The MATCOM circle jerk entourage?

[matcom]

32. believe me when i say

i speak for EVERY straight man on DU :D

[SarahB]

39. Well then

:7

[Fenris]

31. Do you have a license for that?

[matcom]

33. ACK!!!!!!!!!

not ANOTHER 'frisking cop!' :D

[Fenris]

37. Careful, his hands are cold and he isn't gentle!

:D

[Book Lover]

34. Pull me a Sierra Nevada

and don't be stingy with my whisky sidecar!

[matcom]

35. have the bottle!

:beer::beer:

[Book Lover]

49. Ah! refreshing!

<peeling label off bottle>

Where's that whisky?!

[CatWoman]

36. I'll have a Matcom Smoothie

:D

[matcom]

38. check

want that WITH cream or WITHOUT?

[CatWoman]

40. LOL!!

Pervert!!

:D

[matcom]

42. right

DOUBLE CREAM

:loveya:

[GOPisEvil]

41. In honor of Cinco de Mayo...NEGRA MODELO POR FAVOR!!!!

:beer:

[matcom]

43. Si Senor

:beer:

Su Casa Es MI CASA!! :P

[GOPisEvil]

44. I nominate my house for the M.A.T.C.O.M. convention!

Let's piss off the neighbors! :D

[matcom]

45. let's piss ON the neighbors!

:bounce:

[GOPisEvil]

46. Well, there's only two bathrooms...so one of us will HAVE to!

:bounce:

[Amaya]

47. May I have a Margarita

and a little peck on the cheek? :*

[matcom]

48. a big french kiss on the LIPS for you

since i put a double in your Margarita :D

:loveya:

:spank:

[Amaya]

52. Thanks babe!

I needed that :beer: and the kiss too :D

[Harrumph]

51. I like what you've done to the place.

Althought the bartender could use a makeover, too. :eyes:

I'll have a Harvey Wallbanger if you please. Thankee-sai!

Just to let everyone know...I live in Mexico and cinco de mayo is NOT a holiday here. It's something the gringos made up.
:toast:

[matcom]

54. i spend enough time in Mexico to know that

YOU speak TRUTH

:beer:

[Harrumph]

59. Yep, was in town earlier today....

and there was one group of gringos with Cinco de Mayo hats sitting outside a local cantina chugging cervezas. No one else in town was celebrating anything.
:party:

[aljones]

53. Oh Wow, Oh Wow. I wanna WooWoo!!!

I can't believe it a real WooWoo!!!

thank you so much for opening the bar!!

I would have been here sooner but i got blocked from the internet for a while!!!
damn kids

smile ally

[matcom]

55. a PITCHER of WooWoo's for YouYou's!!!

:loveya:

:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:

[tigereye]

56. I can't decide

I want a Corona, so I can pretend I am at the beach, or at least near some body of water! Please.

[aljones]

58. Here have a WooWoo!!!

They are good for the soul. matcom made me a whole pitcher!!
:beer:

[tigereye]

60. thank you kindly

what is a woowoo?

[aljones]

70. Vodka, Peach Snapps and Cranberry Juice!!!

Very tart!!!

smile ally

[aljones]

57. Thank you ever so much!!!

You have very good timing!! I love a WooWoo after work!!

smile ally

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

61. Warm mead served in the horn of an hermaphroditic albino musk ox!

When I say warm I mean mother's milk warm so say 98 degrees. Thank you much!

[tigereye]

63. that is very funny

[Canuckistanian]

62. So, what do you recommend?

I'm in the mood for something saucy, yet vaguely impudent

[ufansdilligaf]

64. s'il vous plait ou est le bar

s'cusi dove il bar
se para collo pou eine toe bar
oi' where's the fucking bar john!

If not now then when? :beer:

[Canuckistanian]

73. Wo ist die Bar? (Ger)

Missa on kapakka? (Fin)
Pazhalsta, Gdye taverna? (Rus)
Blimey! Where's the nuclear sub? (Cockney)

[SOteric]

65. It's my birthday. Can I have a pitcher of birthday Martinis?

And will you deliver them in your birthday suit? :7

[ScreamingMeemie]

66. Happy birthday SOteric!!!!

I'll take pictures!!!! :toast:

[ScreamingMeemie]

67. Boilermaker...

oy...it's been that kind of a day.

Make it three...I'm not driving.

[aljones]

68. Hey Matcom, more WooWoos over here!!!

We are running out fast!!!
They sure are good, its like my grandpa used to say!!
You can take the girl out of the WooWoo, but you can't take the WooWoo out of the girl!!
Or maybe it wasn't him, i could have made that up one drunkin night at the Fizz.
barkeep, another round for the house!!
it will be my birthday in 19 days better live while i can, ain't gettin no younger!!!

smile ally

[GOPisEvil]

69. Bring a pitcher for me too!

:beer:

[aljones]

71. My love, you finally made it!!

I was afraid i would be waiting alone all night!!

here's to us!!!

:toast:

[GOPisEvil]

72. Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

:toast:

[VOX]

74. Barkeep, a shot of Wild Turkey here, with a mineral H20/rocks back...

Here's mud in your eye... :toast:

Many thanks, matcom!

[BritishHuman]

76. can you mix me a Bi-Sexual Twin Nymphomaniac?

Sounds tasty.

I'll just put The Leningrad Cowboys & The Red Army Choir's version of "Sweet Home Alabama" on the jukebox and settle down at the cool kid's table...

[tarheel]

77. POOF !

You are a bi-sexual twin nyphomaniac ! *



(* couldn't resist that one matcom !)

I'll take a GlenLivet on the rocks and here's my donation to the SOBTNWAMAEHD !

[BritishHuman]

78. I have no problem with that.

As long as my girlfriend doesn't mind, that is...