Do something nice for me.

[chaska]

If you've a mind to.

I'm having a bad day. Some days life just really sucks. Life just feels like such a trap, so oppressive, sometimes. I want to be on a backpacking trip. I want to work hard and be rewarded with breathtaking views. I want to eat my dinner talking to frineds around a campfire. I want to sleep in a tent with someone I love.

I want my happily ever after, damnit! Whatever went wrong, that I should end up alone and lonely, and frustrated at every turn. Seems, some days, like I don't have control over anything. Seems I should either have my freedom to do as I please, or if trapped in a 9 to 5 world, I should have someone to share my life with. I'm not chronologically young anymore. I feel the weight of opportunity slipping away. It's only in the last year or so that I've even decided that I would like to have child(ren). And yet, it may be too late.

How to find the strength, day in and day out, to keep going; to keep hoping that life will work out the way we're told it's supposed to?

Sorry for the ramble. Probably not making a lot of sense.

[Supormom]

1. How about a hug?

:hug:

[Goldmund]

2. Me and my gf are going backpaking in the Smokey Mountains in June

Wanna come?

Edit: oops, meant as a reply to the original message.

[chaska]

4. Thanks for the invite.

I'm on the other coast now. Part of the problem I guess. In a new place. Feeling a bit rootless. The Smokies are great. You'll love 'em, if you haven't hiked them before.

[Goldmund]

7. I go there every year.

My parents live in Knoxville.

If you change your mind, IM me anytime.

[ewagner]

3. Here's a hug for you chaska

:hug:

Sometimes opportunities for change are right there in front of us and we simply don't recognize them. I hope you find them.

[chaska]

5. Thanks, man.

I'm a guy, but I'll take it.

[okieinpain]

9. are you sure about the kid's thing. don't get me wrong I love mine

but they worry the shit out of me. oldest one works at hooters, has a subscription to playboy. I'm afraid to look at them now.

second kid is 21 and has discovered love, alcohol, betrayal, heartbreak, and more alcohol.

third child is eighteen, a boy, very handsome, and is one of the school elite's. get's on my friggin nerves with these girls, and all of these guy's following him around.

last child is also a boy, just turned 16, wants a car, and doesn't want to be the baby of the family any more. questions everything I say just for the hell of it. I understand wanting someone to be with, but kids?

[southpaw]

6. I love you...

:loveya:

[bubblesby2002]

8. II want to give you an uplifting answer

But it's the truth: some days life does suck. The other days (the non-sucks days) make life worth living. So here's a big hug for you.:hug:

[ornotna]

10. breathtaking views

How's this? Hope it lifts your spirits a little.

[chaska]

12. OH , HELL YEAH!!!

That's Yosemite, init? It's definitely on the to do list. Thinking about going car camping this weekend.

[ornotna]

14. Yep, Yosemite

Just beautiful. It's on my list too, one day.

[chaska]

11. Reply to okieinpain

Very refreshing, honest answer. I have avoided dating women with children for that very reason. I grew up in a family with a stepfather. I would never ever be a stepfather to a male child. I see you have your hands full with your own biological male children. My stepfather and I have never gotten along. I almost hesitate to talk about female children to my friends. Some sick people seem to think it weird to want a daughter. Man, I just melt when I see a pretty little girl. I just love little girls (I sound like one myself right now). Little boys are nice too, but it's just not the same. I guess, partly, it may be that I don't have a lot of faith in lasting relationship love (man and wife) and think on some level that a daughter will always love you. And because of my troubled relationship with my fathers I don't relate to males as well. Hell, who knows?

[NightTrain]

13. You have my empathy.

I've had long stretches in my life where I've felt the same way you do. In fact, at age 20, I came very close to attempting suicide. (I can just hear the right-wing lurkers saying, "Too bad you didn't go through with it!")

Best I can tell you is, if you hang in long enough, the law of averages will eventually work in your favor. Hey, it did for me! Well, to a certain point anyway.... :hi:

[chaska]

15. Thanks NightTrain.

I hope things work out for you and lberalhistorian.

Actually, this is something I've been thinking a lot about lately. Everybody always says to keep hoping, that one day "your ship will come in". But, I'm 46.

...How much longer?

No, I'm not doing something right. Things don't "just happen" often enough to build a life around.

Change is necessary. And I'm in the process. But change can happen agonizingly slowly, and is never easy. Thus, my pain.

[chaska]

16. Thanks for the kind words everybody.

Now, I think I'll go blow my brains out.

Okay, sorry. Just a little gallows humor. Not serious.

I really do appreciate your efforts on my behalf.

[SarahB]

17. I supposedly got my happily ever after

It snaps at me though continuously. Tired. Exhausted. Life will eventually turn around because I will make the turning around possible. You can too! We all can really. It's just a little persistance and luck.

[Pithlet]

18. I know it sounds trite, but hang in there.

Things can change. At one point, I was stuck in a miserable marriage, with a job I hated, and thought life would never get better. I was miserable and lonely. Things are much better for me now, and I've never been happier.

Here's a :hug: DU is a great place to vent to about stuff like this. Many of us are there, or have been there.