Favorite Line From A TV Show?

[WillParkinson]

One of my favorites comes from Buffy The Vampire Slayer:

After Tara casts a spell that goes awry and her family wants to take her away Buffy says, "You want her Mr. McClay? Go ahead and take her. But you'll have to go through me." And then Dawn steps up and says, "And me..."

The father steps forward and says that he's not going to be threatened by two little girls and that Tara belongs with them. They're her blood kin. And who are Buffy and her friends?

And she says: "Us? We're family."

That's one of my favorite lines ever on any TV show.

That one and:

"I'm Buffy. The Vampire Slayer. And you are?"

[AngryAmish]

1. Come back Joey Joe Joe!

[kmla]

2. From Cheers - as Norm enters the bar...

Sam - "How's it going today, Norm?"

Norm - "It's a dog eat dog world, Sammy, and I'm wearin' Milk Bone underwear."

OR -

From WKRP -

Mr. Carlson - "...as God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."

[LynneSin]

4. Damn, you took my "...as God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly

that's a classic!!

[southpaw]

3. Chris Stevens on Northern Exposure...

When given an opportunity to speak on his own behalf at his extradition hearing, he said:

"I think Carl Jung said it best, your honor: 'We should not pretend to understand the world by intellect alone; we apprehend it just as much by feeling. Therefore the judgment of the intellect is, at best, only the half of truth and must, if it be honest, come to an understanding of its own inadequacy.'"

[no_hypocrisy]

5. "In the butt, Bob!" was a famous answer during The Newlywed Game.

Question was "Where's the most unusual place you've ever made 'whoopee'"? Other answers were the benign locations of the kitchen, living room, etc.

[johnnie]

13. Actually..

I just seen that clip and what she says is.."Would that be in the ass Bob?" I thought it was an urban legend for a long time, but I just saw it last week.

[WillParkinson]

14. For years he denied it was ever said...

And then it popped up somewhere and he (Bob Eubanks) had to admit it.

[johnnie]

16. On the show I saw it on..

Eubanks claims he didn't remember it ever happening. Then he said he finally saw the clip, and found out it was true.

[Canuckistanian]

32. Nice Contrast between posts 3 and 5!

Just diversity of opinions, I guess.

[displacedtexan]

"I haven't felt so betrayed...

since that Nazi Rolf blew the whistle in the graveyard."

Murphy Brown

[mac56]

6. Mr. Grant: "You've got spunk."

(Mary Richards smiles and murmurs...)

Mr. Grant: "I hate spunk."

[doubleplusgood]

7. "Yo-Yo Ma !"

...said by Kramer, as he spied approvingly on one of Jerry Seinfeld's female neighbors.

[Richardo]

8. From Get Smart:

"Larrabee, confiscate that plant"
"I can't do that, Chief. I'm not a priest.

[Rainbowreflect]

9. I think the name of the TV was "Grace under fire."

Grace says to her boss, "You must be great in bed, imagine all the positions you can get into with no back bone."
I use that one a lot.

[mac56]

10. From "Friends":

Monica: "Phoebe, what did we discuss about you thinking before you speak?"
Phoebe: "Well, duhhh...there isn't always time...!"

[Kahuna]

11. "I love it when a plan comes together." A Team..

:D

[markus]

19. Another vote for the A-Team!

Man, I use that line at work about once a week.

[Richardo]

20. "Mikey" Touttel on "American Chopper" gave that line a great read...

Complete with cigar... hilarious.

[soleft]

12. You want to talk about how we fell in case maybe I got breast cancer

Okay. In case maybe I got breast cancer, you go first.



Mary Beth Lacey to Christine Cagney
Cagney and Lace @ 1985

[Mixxster]

25. Great choice, soleft (although it should be "feel").

I love it when a writer nails a moment like that.

Chris Cagney, who usually avoided talking about feelings at all costs, is trying to get her partner, Mary Beth Lacey, to talk about the possibility that she has breast cancer. Mary Beth's response was perfect and I remember being blown away by that line. I love it when a show is really true to it's characters and backstory.

[Parrcrow]

15. Al Bundy on Married with Children...

describing his dream toilet, "The Mighty Ferguson says step up to the bowl partner and make it a double".

or Hawkeye on MASH talking about pediatrics, "There's gold in them thar diapers."

[non sociopath skin]

17. The one where Jack Benny was asked for his Social Security number ...

.. and he looks at the clerk with that smug smile of his and says "One".

The Skin

[arwalden]

18. "Oh My Stars!"

as exclaimed by Samantha on Bewitched.

[Insider]

21. Golden Girls, hands down

sophia: Every morning like clockwork at 7 a.m. I pee. Unfortunately, I don't wake up till 8.

Sophia: There's just something I don't like about him. I can't put my finger on it, but if I did, I'd have to wash it.

[russian33]

22. Golden Girls rock!

Sophia "My friend passed away"
Rose "Was she sick?"
Sophia (with lots of sarcasm) "No, she was fighting wild fires in the Amazon, in Brazil...she was 89 you idiot!"

[Bunny]

23. "Those two poops are gonna drive me dippy!"

Said Colonel Henry Blake, upon being informed that Majors Burns and Houlihan wanted to see him.

Cracks me up every time!

[Richardo]

31. Blake: "Here's lookin' up your ol' address!"

That one always gets me :D

[Colonel Flagg]

36. My father touched me that way once.

To this day, he still has to wear orthopedic shirts.

[NightTrain]

24. "Get outta my chair, Meathead!"

Also, "Stifle yourself, dingbat!"

[Feanorcurufinwe]

26. "My personal code of conduct prohibits sharing"

from a 'guest alien' on ST:TNG

[tsakshaug]

27. Police Squad

holding out a cigarette pack

Frank: cigarette?

other person (at least once a show) : yes, I know

[Dulcinea]

28. Col. Flagg had the funniest line in TV history:

"I have nothing to do with intelligence."

Kinda like Boy George & his posse of creeps.

[Colonel Flagg]

35. Hey!

You think you're real smart. But you're not smart, you're dumb. Very dumb. But you've met your match in me!

[HEyHEY]

29. M*A*S*H

Burns: I won't have PERVERTS in this tent!
Trapper: Would you like us to leave alphabetically?

[Richardo]

30. Hawkeye (to Frank): "Hold still." ...

(swats him over the head with a towel)
Frank: "Did you get it?"
Hawkeye: "Get what?"

:D

[Lindsey]

33. From Barney Miller...

the guys have just eaten some brownies that they had convinscated that were full of pot. With remorese, one of the guys (Max Gail) says to Barney: "To err is human, to forgive is divine, forgive me Barney, be divine."

[Colonel Flagg]

37. Nobody leaves till I do.

And I never leave.

[BigMcLargehuge]

34. Scotty, General Order 24!!!

best line ever. From TOS ep "A Taste of Armageddon" that order instructs Scotty to target all the population centers of Eminiar 7 and start a 24 hour countdown. If Kirk isn't released by the forces there Scotty is to evaporate all life on the planet.

General Order 24, because sometimes you just gotta take it to the next level.

[Calico Jack Rackham]

38. Homicide

Det.Frank Pembleton: I'm tired of being the only one around here who gives a damn. You're looking at the new Frank Pembleton. Budding Republican and practicing selfish bastard. Savior of no one but himself. Shot of Gold Natty Bo. This is the new me.

[BattyDem]

39. The Simpsons

That show has hundreds of great quotes! Here are a few:


LISA: "Oh no, the dead have risen and they're voting Republican."

HOMER: "No, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way"

MARGE: "You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head."

HOMER: "You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."

HOMER: "God bless those Pagans."

HOMER: "There's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service, but those were dead ends! I think this chair is the answer."

HOMER: "Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it."

HOMER: "To start, press any key. Where's the ANY key?"

BART: "There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson.

HOMER: "Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."

HOMER: "I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!"

HOMER: "Florida!? But that's America's Wang!"

HOMER: "English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!"

PRINCIPAL SKINNER: "That's why I love elementary school, Edna. The children believe anything you tell them."

LISA: "Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece."

BART: "Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ."

HOMER: "America's health care system is second only to Japan... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, ... well all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!"

MOE: "I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt ... I can't compete with that stuff."

HOMER: "Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening."

HOMER: "Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!"

HOMER: "If The Flintstones has taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement."

KENT BROCKMAN: "I've said it before, and I'll say it again: democracy just doesn't work."

:)