Poof! You have three wishes

[Ratty]

What do you wish for? Remember, wishes are always out to trick you or take you too literally. Be careful!

[Sagan]

1. well, to be honest...

If I'm dealing with a genie that is looking for any possible way to screw me over, I'd just not make any wishes. Maybe wish that I had no wishes. You never win in the "monkey's paw" scenario.

However, if I'm dealing with a benevolent genie:

1. * loses every single state in the 04 election in a surprise landslide, utterly humiliating him and the Repugs.

2. I want $5 billion.

3. I want to live forever as a young man.

[Ratty]

13. The genie says ...

Your wish is my command.

Poof! After the surprise announcement that Dick Cheney would no longer run for Vice President, the world is stunned by the unstoppable momentum of the Constitution Party's Cheney/Coulter ticket which wins every state in the union in 2004.

Poof! 500 billion pennies have just been dropped on you.

Poof! After the great disaster of 2004, when 1 million tons of pennies destroyed half a city block, the city's leaders decided to leave the gargantuan mound as an eternal monument to the tragic victims. Entombed at the very heart of the 3 centuries-old monument, a still-spry 300 year old Sagan remains in the very best of health.

[Sagan]

18. See, that's exactly why I never trust genies....

:)

Bastages!

[stellanoir]

2. hmmmmm. . .

paper trails for electronic voting machines
exposure of Bush's criminality and his fall from power (that's 1 wish) resulting in

world peace

[Ratty]

19. The genie says ...

Your wish is my command.

Poof! After the Venus satellite returns to Earth from it's 3 year journey to survey our cloudy sister world, weird radiation bathes the planet, causing all 8 million electronic voting machines in every corner of the world to come to a terrible, malevolent life. Ripping themselves up from the floor the voting machines shamble across the countryside, trapping frightened multiracial groups of people in deserted farmhouses, lashing out with their razor sharp paper tails and killing with a single terrible paper cut that stretches from crotch to sternum.

Poof! Proclaiming April as National "Your Body is the Holy Vessel of G-d" Month, President George W. Bush exhorts all Americans of a non-swarthy persuasion (as if there were any other kind), to free themselves of the sins of unhealthy lifestyles. Vowing to share the sacrifice along with all other American's as they just say "No" to poverty, alcohol, feminism, drugs, and fancy book larnin', Bush promises to give up his one and only vice. The demon caffeine. On April 31st, half out of his mind and crazed with the need for just one quick jolt of caffeine--you know, as a pickmeup--Bush manages to slip his secret service detail and sneak into the darkest and seamiest part of Washington DC. Making his way to a certain cafe at the end of Crimson Alley, Bush, disguised in funny nose and glasses, orders the establishment's strongest cup of Earl Grey. As the orgasmic rush of caffeine causes a shudder rush of ecstacy throughout his body, crack journalist Bob Woodward of the Washington Posts bursts from his hiding place behind the counter and snaps a picture of Bush in mid sip. The picture is published the next day by every major news outlet in the country.

Poof! The genie fixes you up a nice batch of peas in your blender.

(The genie wishes somebody would wish him a nice hearing aid someday)

[rbnyc]

3. Now I'm too scared to wish!

Okay, this is the first draft. My final draft would be vary careful.

1. Bush Administration goes down.
2. I have a healthy baby.
3. I get a huge settlement in my lawsuet before the end of hte year.

[Ratty]

22. The genie says ...

Your wish is my command.

Poof! The entire Bush administration goes down.

On Condoleeza Rice.

Poof! The entire medical establishments hails the birth of your baby as an evolutionary miracle. Proclaiming it the healthiest baby ever born in the whole history of the world, reporters from scores of countries are kept at bay in a makeshift camp sprwading across the entire hospital parking lot. "Give the happy couple some peace and time alone with the new addition to their lives," hospital administrators demand.

As you stand in front of that baby place--you know, where they put all the babies out on display--snuggling up against your husband in a loving, yet subservient manner, you whisper to him, "Oh George. How lucky we are to have the healthiest baby ever born."

"We Bushes may not be the brightest bulbs in the Christmas tree," he whispers back romantically, "but we sure can pop out some healthy babies!"

Poof! The genie whips you up a tasty law sandwich, fresh suet between two large legal tomes. You eat it down, yum, and it settles nicely in your stomach.

[Gothic Sponge]

4. mine

Peace on Earth, no more wars!
A clean Earth, no more pollution!
To be rich, but not stinking rich.

[Ratty]

23. The genie says ...

Your wish is my command

Poof! For 40 days and 40 nights the heavens open, unleashing a torrent upon the face of the Earth. Frozen peas of every shape, color, and size hail down upon every country everywhere. Cities are inundated, New York's Chrysler building disappears in the unrelenting sea of Exorcist puke green. Eventually even the highest peaks of Mt. Everest are buried.

But on the plus side, rotting putrifying peas really play havoc with tank treads!

Poof! All dirt disappears. The Earth is now as smooth as a billiard ball. As crops will no longer grow, it sure is lucky there's all of those peas to eat.

Poof! You discover an enormous beanstalk growing in your back yard. After gathering together supplies for a long, arduous journey, you carefully make your way to the top, visions of all that gold, and eggs, and golden eggs and stuff, glistening in your mind's eye. After spending 3 days clambering across the cloudy landscape you manage to sneak into the giant's castle through a drainpipe.

Unfortunately all that Englishman's blood of yours alerts the giant's grotesquely sensitive sniffer. Alas, you end up in the cookpot. Very rich, the giant decides, with an enchanting aftertaste. Mrs. Giant especially appreciates how you seem to agree with the giant's digestive system and for once, she can sleep without nose plugs.

[Van Helsing]

5. Three hot chicks.

:evilgrin:

[Canuckistanian]

7. You should combine them into one wish

It's an old accounting trick...

[Van Helsing]

9. That's all I want.

:)

[BlueJazz]

12. OOOO...Van Helsing... You've got to be...

more specific than that!

(You'll wind up with 3 over-heated Baby Chickens) :)

[Van Helsing]

15. Three hot chicks...

you know, three hot women. Chicks...young women, it's all the same.

[JohnKleeb]

16. yeah van but the genie takes everything literally

[Van Helsing]

17. He'd better get down wit da lingo, den.

:)

[Ratty]

24. The genie says ...

Your wish is my command

Poof!

Vaclav Havel. First president, Czech Republic. Best-selling (i.e., hot) playwrite.

Poof!
Poof!

Yortuk and Georg Festrunk. There is no other pair of Czech brothers who cruise and swing so successfuly in tight slacks!

[La Lioness Priyanka]

6. hmm

the world becomes a socialist democracy

everyone has enough and no one has too much

the third one is personal :evilgrin:

[SarahB]

11. I'd go with 2 out of your 3

1. Socialist Democracy (which takes care of the second part)
2. A personal one as well
3. That we can come up with plenty of alternative fuel sources, etc. to keep our planet nice and healthy

edit: because I should use spellcheck every darn time

[terrya]

8. Well, here's mine:

1) Good health for myself and my family, friends and my b/f Doug.

2) A cure for cancer and AIDS.

3) The end of prejudice and discrimination. Against anyone.

[elfwitch]

10. Pretty easy....

1. That every time I put my hand in my pocket/purse/wallet I pull out a $20 bill

2. The we get a sweet development deal with all the whistles and bells for "The Adventures of Rex Raygun" with Jon Stewart doing to voice for the main character

3. That all of my bills (student loans, car loans, credit cards, etc.) were all paid off in full and that my credit was restored back to it's original pristine state.

[BlueJazz]

14. I just need One

"From this day forward, I have the power to have or change anything I want"

[ohiosmith]

20. No thanks. The last time this happened the genie must have been hard of

hearing. I ended up with a 12" pianist.

[camero]

21. ok

I want these three:

A cure for diabetes
To meet with the woman I've been chatting with and more
To go visit Alaska :)

[tigereye]

25. hmmmm

have to be careful eh, genies aren't supposed to mess with you, right?

trip around the world all paid

know enough to be a jazz drummer and tour ( around the world of course)

happiness and healthiness for my sweetie and kid