I feel like I'm auditioning for Jerry Springer

[MissMillie]

or Jenny Jones, or Ricki Lake, or something like that.

Finding out yesterday, that my son's dad, Bill, a man who skipped out on us 14 years ago, was weird, to say the least.

I don't yet know any details of his death, except that I did speak with him back in October, and he told me he had been sick and hospitalized.

So, now I'm on the hunt for information, for my son's sake. The office where Bill worked was kind enough to give me the address of Bill's brother, and I found a phone number. Thing is, I don't think anyone in that family knows about us. And I can't begin to imagine what they're going to think when they hear from me.

And I'm hoping that this brother will give me some information about the half-sister Tim has never known (he knows about her, but has never met her).



Weird weird weird.... Any suggestions on how to get through this?

[liberalhistorian]

1. Be VERY careful in dealing with

the family, especially since you don't know what, if anything, Bill has told them about you and your son. My son's father threw me out of the house when I was three months pregnant, and my son was almost two years old before paternity was established and his family wanted contact. He had told them, in the meantime, that I'd screwed around on him and my son wasn't his and they believed him.

Do NOT put Bill down when talking to them, no matter what they say, that'll just put them off. Just be as pleasant and understanding as you can. Remember, they're dealing with the death of their brother/son, and that's hard enough for them to handle.

[MissMillie]

2. Wouldn't dream of putting him down to them

Frankly, I let go of all the negatives on this one a long time ago. I had to. I had a son to raise and I needed all my energy for that. I couldn't waste my energy on anger and pay-back.

I really don't want anything from these people, except to know how Bill died (I think if he had heart disease or cancer, Tim should have the right to know that), and how to find Tim's sister.

Maybe she'd be happy to know that she has more family than she thought she had.... who knows.