My top 10 worst movies of all time (subject to change)

[Faygo Kid]

Thought about this for my daughter; I am sure it would change from day to day. Still, it is a worthy list of trash. Your opinions are solicited (you will give them anyway, I am sure).
1. The English Patient (an easy and obvious choice)
2. Gods and Generals (broke my heart)
3. Blood of Heroes (a friend made me watch it. WTF?)
4. Star Trek 8 (not even a good hour long show)
5. Star Trek 5 (Shatner directed. They found God. God should have smote them).
6. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
7. Titanic
8. To Have and Have Not (Bogey and Bacall, but puke)
9. Labyrinth
10. The Paradine Case (Hitchcock's worst. Yuck).

[skooooo]

1. Please also consider..

"The Bridges of Madison County".


Did anyone else find that movie totally insipid?

[HEyHEY]

2. The Virgin Suicides

[KissMyAsscroft]

3. The Mummy...

The one with Brendan Frasier...

Terrible movie.

[Delano]

39. Lucky you-

The Mummy obviously kept you away from "The Mummy 2"

The first film is a masterpiece in comparison. The second is an absolute non-stop mess of frenetic and pointless CG effects. At the end of it, I could only scratch my head and wonder "What the hell was that all about?

[LadeJarl]

4. My top pick is

Mulholland Drive

[DS1]

5. The Brunette in that movie was worth the rest

[FunBobbyMucha]

57. M. Drive is the worst movie I've ever watched twice

Dear God, that lesbian scene is hot.

[BigMcLargehuge]

6. more than ten, and exhaustive reviews

check out the Hall of Shame. I write it. Comments on reviews welcome.

http://www.horrorview.com/

[Faygo Kid]

10. Thanks, but link didn't work

I hope at least a couple of my choices made your list.

[BigMcLargehuge]

17. try retyping the link in your browser

the link works. Honest.

[FireHeart]

41. Love your site.

I just wish you'd update more frequently. "The Hall Of Shame" is both hilarious and informative. You can't believe how many of those movies I've considered renting--you saved me a bunch of money. :)

Keep up the good work!

[BigMcLargehuge]

50. I've been writing anime reviews

and japanese new wave reviews too, so time for the Hall of Shame specials is a little tight right now. Plus, I don't have the ready cash to hit the video store as much as I'd like.

Which of the Hall of Shame reviews is your favorite, or you think is funniest? I am partial to Shark Zone because I did the review as a Russian gangster/film producer.

[FireHeart]

56. That was my choice, too.

It was hilarious. I read it out loud to my family members and they all cracked up. Your Shark Zone review was outrageously funny!

[BigMcLargehuge]

60. glad you liked it

everytime I post a link to there I am compelled to reread all of my Hall of Shame Reviews. I am not rereading Reptilicus and snickering like an idiot.

Any suggestions for my next Hall of Shame title? I'll mention you (with a funny pseudonym) at the beginning of the review.

[FireHeart]

64. The worst recent movie I've ever seen was

2103-Deadly Wake. Absolutely HORRIBLE. :evilgrin:

[BigMcLargehuge]

66. I'll put it on my short list :)

thanks!

[Ladyhawk]

7. Hey, I liked Titanic!

Battlefield: Earth
The Fifth Element

[Faygo Kid]

8. The villain was less sophisticated than Snidely Whiplash

The death scene was laughably melodramatic, the flooding with the guy chained to a post went on for a lifetime, and the old woman could have tossed that jewel my way. Its only redeeming value was the special effects and the heroine was a good actress (and very attractive). Whatever floats your boat (oops - bad comment).

[jobycom]

20. I thought the villain was a big chunk of ice

Great film. I always get the feeling that people trash it for the same reason they trash anything popular. But maybe not.

The villain was supposed to be a cardboard cutout. He was just a catalyst, not an actual adversary. As for the melodrama, it works sometimes. I thought it worked here. Apparently, a lot of people agreed, because it was not only popular, it was critically acclaimed and heavily awarded by the industry, including Golden Globes and Oscars.

The script was epic in its complexity, and like Gladiator, deceptively simple. It recreated an entire era, including class differences that are mostly alien to us now, and made them easy to grasp. It developed several interwoven themes and storylines without appearing episodic. And it combined the elements of the hopeless romance, action, and tragedy genres, all in a story that flowed seamlessly.

The dialogue had a few weak moments, but it fit the different characters, rather than appearing to be one voice spoken from different mouths. Nothing Shakespearean, but nothing to cringe at (unlike The Lord of the Rings, where the writing and directing gave me shivers of embarrassment for the director).

And Kate Winslow was great, but DiCaprio was good, too. Leonardo used to be a highly respected indie actor, but because one of his roles became popular, people have turned against him. It's always cool to hate success, I guess.

[southpaw]

23. Billy Zane... Big Chunk of Ice

I can understand the confusion

[jobycom]

24. LOL But he was great in Zoolander!

Well, as great as anyone could be expected to be in Zoolander.

[regnaD kciN]

82. You gotta be kidding...

Titanic sucked.

The sequel, Titanic II (which had its world festival premiere last Saturday at the Hartwick Short Film Festival in upstate New York) was much better, if I do say so myself.

[FunBobbyMucha]

58. Word. Good thing for Kate Winslet

there weren't train tracks for him to tie her to. Cameron and George Lucas have no ear for dialogue.

[regnaD kciN]

81. The only things the villain lacked...

...were a mustache to twirl, and an on-board railroad track to tie the heroine to.

[neverborn]

32. Fifth Element rocked!

[JohnLocke]

9. Titanic, Battlefield Earth, Gigli, Istar, Loser.

[sjgman9]

11. Caddyshack II

Worst. Movie. Ever

[JVS]

51. Don't be a fonzaloon!

What other movie teaches us the name for someone who farts in the bath tub and bites the bubbles? :toast:

[DAGDA56]

12. Any movie with a title beginning with...

..."National Lampoon's" (with the exception of Animal House)

[jobycom]

13. All of those were better than Ferris Buehler and True Lies

Two of the most cliche-filled, formulaic, base films ever produced. Reminded me of disco. (Although Tom Arnold was funny!).

Then there are the really bad ones. You know, the ones that are bad because they are terrible, not because they are slick but disappointing. My favorite (or least favorite) is Yor: The Hunter of the Future.

[Faygo Kid]

15. Oh yeah, True Lies. True Idiocy.

A worthy candidate. Never saw Ferris Bueller. Thank God.

[JVS]

52. Bueller sucks!

Someone once described him as a combination of Eddie Haskell and the Marquis DeSade. Annoying little shit.

[loftycity]

14. Movies I want to forget painful

1. Evolution
2. ConAir
3. The English Patient
4. Men in Black
I have forgotten...that David Lynch Something Drive --dumb and dull.

[jobycom]

21. Man. I like two of your four.

I thought Men in Black was hilarious, and ConAir was great for that type of film. It's not my favorite style of film, but with Nicholas Cage and John Malcovich, at least the acting was decent. Better than watching most action stars try to memorize lines.

Evolution: Bad. Not even bad enough to be horrible, just plain bad.

The English Patient: A film I hope never to watch.

[NightTrain]

16. I'll try for "painfully bad," not "laughably bad."

Listed alphabetically by title. And these are just off the top of my head:

Charlie Chan & The Curse of the Dragon Queen (1981) - A mystery comedy that was neither mysterious nor funny. Peter Ustinov (who played Chan), what were you thinking?!

The Conqueror (1956) - Starring John Wayne as Genghis Khan!

An Eye For An Eye (1995?) - Sally Field continues her artistic decline in this contemptible revenge fantasy that gleefully shits all over the Bill of Rights.

Heaven's Gate (1980) - Couldn't that San Diego death cult have named itself after a good movie?

Ishtar (1987) - No matter how bad a film is, I'm usually able to stick it out until the end. That I walked out of "Ishtar" after 45 minutes should tell you something!

Last Year at Marienbad (1962) - Dull, pretentious, dull, ponderous, dull, meaningless, dull, artsy-fartsy to a fault...and dull!

Leonard, Part 6 (1987). Bill Cosby is a funny man. This spy spoof utterly wasted his considerable talent.

Manos: The Hands of Fate (circa 1966) - Worst. Film. Ever!!!

She-Devil (1989). A low point for Meryl Streep, and a high point for Roseanne Barr.

The Silver Chalice (1954) - In his first film, Paul Newman got a starring role. Too bad it was in this horrific Biblical tripe!

Up The Academy (1980) - Mad Magazine wasted its cash bankrolling this vulgar, obnoxious, unfunny teen-sex farce. Makes "Porky's" seem like "Annie Hall."

[Faygo Kid]

19. Wow! Those are bad.

Thank God I saw none of them. Man, I hope your friends don't let you pick out which movie to see, if you saw those in any circumstances less than threat of torture. Tried a couple, but left early, like you.

[jobycom]

22. Congrats! A list with nothing to argue over!

The Conqueror and An Eye For an Eye are too horrible to even remember.

You have to give Keifer credit for that role, though. Only because he survived it to work again.

BTW, read the book "The Silver Chalice." You'll see it wasn't just the movie.

[mitchum]

18. Remember The Titans

The Italian Job
It's A Wonderful Life (flame away, I can't stand it)
Cape Fear (remake)
The Lonely Lady
True Lies
Fiddler On The Roof
Streamers
Laserblast
Any Ed Wood movie (your choice)

There are plenty more truly horrible movies out there that I have avoided seeing. These are only the ones that I have been subjected to (usually against my will)

[SmileyBoy]

40. I agree on Remember The Titans.

That movie had PISS-POOR acting. Only Denzel was halfway-decent.

[ScreamingMeemie]

62. Sunshine was HOT. I cannot vote for this movie on that fact alone.

;)

[Westegg]

65. "The Lonely Lady"? Surely you jest...

....any film that features a former child-star from "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" and is based on a Harold Robbins novel MUST and WILL command respect, sir, from the lowly likes of such as you. Pia Zadora rules!

Me, I'm waiting for the remake. It's already in production----I swear! Called "The Lonely Lady 2: Lonely Ladies," and starring the Olsen Twins. Directed by Bob Sagat, with a cameo by John Stamos as "Leather Boy." (This film has not yet been rated.)

[muriel_volestrangler]

78. That better be the remake Italian Job you're dissing

the original is a classic.

[FARAFIELD]

25. GODS AND GENERALS?

I thought it was great and the battle of scene of Chancellorsville was magnificent.

[neoteric lefty]

31. it was too long!

I wanted to see it b/c I used to be pretty into the Civil War when I was younger. I rented it and I couldn't believe how long it was. I was exhausted after the first DVD but I felt obligated to watch the whole thing. 4 hours or so. I could barely take it.

[jdsmith]

54. Gods and Generals: spoilers ahead!

Plot: Talk, talk, talk, pray, talk, pray, fight, talk, pray, pray, talk, fight, talk, talk, talk, talk, pray, fight, talk, talk, talk, pray, pray, pray, die.

I did think that Chancellorsville worked out pretty well, but the Fredericksburg sequence was ruined by mucky CGI and an inept decision to do the battle as a clash between Irishmen.

My son, a "living historian," has heard that there is footage of Antietam that was not included in _Gods and Generals_.

The best sequence in the entire film, I thought, was the meeting between soldiers in the middle of the Rappahanock. That would have made a terrific short.

[_]

26. "Hey baby"!

Any and all Austin Powers movies; by comparison, they make Police Academy sequels seem like Oscar winners.

"Koyaanisqatsi"; the first movie I ever walked out of after 15 minutes. Noise by Phillip Glass.

"Stop Making Sense"; the second movie I ever walked out of... only this time it was 10 minutes. Tourettes style spastic jerking, "hip" funky suits and armpit cacophony by David Byrne and the Talking Heads (the Ed Wood of music).

With the exception of "Rocky" and "Lords of Flatbush", anything that has Stallone in it... "Speak Sylvester, speak"! "Uhmmm, like what am I supposed to say"? <take 12>

"My Dinner With Andre"; might as well have been called "My Coma With Andre".

"Chicago". 40's and 50's musicals were fantastic. This piece of crud is an abomination of what singing, dancing and combining it with a storyline used to be.

[Ediacara]

27. You have obviously not seen Rob Schneider's "The Animal"

Easily the worst movie ever made.

PERIOD.

[maggrwaggr]

28. Caligula, Dogma, Grease

[mitchum]

29. But "Caligula" is the world's greatest bad movie!

Ed Wood's inept garbage can't hold an out-of-focus candle to its genius :)

[maggrwaggr]

35. "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls" -- so bad it's GREAT

[mitchum]

74. Yes indeed!!!

[MichaelUK]

45. hang on

Dogma is a great film. It attacks catholicism, provides a contemporary view of what religio should be, and has Jay and Silent Bob in it. Plus Alanis Morissette as God.

It's genius

[FDRrocks]

30. Labyrinth is a masterpiece

in my opinion. Has the best song line ever as well:

"Good times, bad food"

I mean to tell me this is one of the ten worst then withold...lets say.... The Blair Witch Project! Egads! :)

[neverborn]

33. I love bad horror...

thus BWP and BWP2 rule :p

[neverborn]

34. Queen of the Damned!!

[mac1000a]

36. House of the Dead

This piece of shit is actually intercut with scenes from the video game! WTF were they thinking?

[Delano]

37. ????

1. The English Patient (Yes, an overrated, steaming pile)
2. Gods and Generals (never saw it. Was it popular?)
3. Blood of Heroes (Never even heard of it.)
4. Star Trek 8 (That was First Contact - the most popular of the TNG movies. Not my favorite, but not bad! Besides, Star Trek is pure escapist fantasy. I'd never hold it up to "real" cinema standards)
5. Star Trek 5 (Yeah, it was bad - for Star Trek. There are tons of much worse SF films every year...).
6. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (You actually paid to see that? I don't know ANYONE who's seen it.)
7. Titanic (Unfaily maligned formula tearjerker. The formula is executed flawlessly, and the pacing and cinematography are wonderful. The only real flaw is casting a teenage hermaphrodite (DiCrapio) in a role that should have been played by a man.)
8. To Have and Have Not (Never seen it, no comment)
9. Labyrinth (I'm not a fan, but this is a major cult film. Many people LOOOVE it. I thought it was good mid-80s escapist fun)
10. The Paradine Case (Another one I've never seen).

You seem to have seen a lot of obscure films...


The only film I ever walked out of was "Free Willy". I found everything about it excruciating. The obnoxious little kid, and his clueless parents, the EEEEVIL owner of the marine park in his red corvette - but the scene that made me leave was, when "Willy" didn't perform on cue, EVERYONE in the audience immediately stated screaming, stamping their feet, throwing things and generally terrorizing the whale. Too much of a stretch to me. It's a MARINE PARK. People who go there by and large, LIKE marine animals, and would not turn into jeering, abusive mobs at the drop of a hat.

I was also a bit annoyed at the animated "Pocahontas", where Poca was a 20-year old Barbie doll, rather than a 12 year old girl as in real life, and the white settlers were shown randomly DYNAMITING everything in sight, for no apparent reason. I'm not a history expert, but I'm pretty sure that the first thing they did upon getting off the boat was BLOW EVERYTHING UP AT RANDOM.

Oh, and in spite of the lovely Helen Slater, "Supergirl" was 2 1/2 hours of pure TORTURE.

[SmileyBoy]

38. Conan The Barbarian, Remember The Titans, Glitter, Ishtar, etc...

[FireHeart]

42. Any film produced/directed by Roger Corman.

Those are horrid films. Often make no sense whatsoever and ever so poorly edited. Ugh.

[Bundbuster]

43. Can't believe no one's mentioned

Last Tango In Paris - the only movie I've ever paid to see and walked out on. Brando at his self-indulgent, arrogant zenith.

[VOX]

44. "Butterfly" with Stacy Keach, Pia Zadora and Orson Welles...

So bad it made my eyes water and my head throb -- or was it the other way around?

[MichaelUK]

46. 2 more

1. Titanic (3hrs of boredom made only bearable by laughing at the bad acting)
2. All of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy (Steve, you should have stuck to B-movies. Braindead is up there in my top 10 movies).

[JCMach1]

47. I liked "The English Patient"

for overrated and pretentious, I would choose

"Out of Africa"


One of the few movies that actually put me to sleep...!

[MichaelUK]

48. Special Mentions

Special mentions should go out to:

The Malaysian Connection - arguably the worst porn movie I have ever had the misfortune of watching.

Plumbers Don't Wear Ties - An old game for the PC. You went through a video story, trying to get the couple to hit it off. Needless to say, the acting was wooden, the dialogue poor and the actors...well, frankly, they wouldn't have looked out of place in the Malaysian Connection. And, despite reading all the reviews, despite my pleas, a mate of mine still bought it, played it once and then threw it away.

[FlashHarry]

49. MEGAFORCE!

The 1982 sci-fi epic from Hal Needham.

[Beware the Beast Man]

53. My top 10

2 lists. The first are movies that are unintentionally bad. The second list is for films that were so bad, they were good.

These are all films I found extremely painful to watch:

1. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band- Godawful.
2. Forrest Gump- I found it sappy & pretentious, especially the ending
3. Popeye- I saw this when I was six years old, and I knew it sucked back then.
4. Joe vs. the Volcano
5. Men in Black II
6. Mallrats (Kevin Smith's worst by far)
7. Titanic
8. William Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet (the 96 version)
9. Planet of the Apes (2001 version)
10. Big top Pee Wee

Here are movies that were so bad, they were good:

1. Dolemite
2. Bloodsucking Freaks
3. Make them Die Slowly
4. PLan 9 from Outer Space (of course! the Citizen Kane of bad cinema)
5. They Live (PUT THE GLASSES ON!!)
6. Romance (basically a classy porno flick thinly veiled as an "art film")
7. It Came from Someplace Else
im out of ideas, so i'll stop there.

[Rhiannon12866]

55. I really hated "Forrest Gump," and never understood why everyone

else didn't, as well. I thought it was painful to watch, stupid and throat-closing. I went to see it with a friend who used to be a movie critic, and he agreed. So, go figure.:shrug:

[ACK]

69. I did too

Absolutely hate that movie.

+

[Rhiannon12866]

70. I really made a fool of myself, after seeing it,

talking to others about it, as if they must have felt as I did. Then the damn thing won "best picture." I didn't get it then, and never will.:shrug:

[JohnKleeb]

72. Rhi why didnt you like it?

lol when I was younger, they said my hair looked like his. Hanks is a great actor but I find that movie overrated.

[NightTrain]

71. I didn't hate it, but I think it's terribly overrated.

And it sure as hell didn't merit all those Oscars, particularly with "Pulp Fiction" in the running.

[geniph]

75. I despise that manipulative piece of crap!

That's one of my classic examples of cynical screenwriters, directors, and producers assuming they can count on the moviegoing audience being a bunch of chumps - and being RIGHT! I really, really, dislike that movie.

[FunBobbyMucha]

59. I'd put the last two Matrix films in there, and Ep 1 and 2 of Star Wars

These are surprisingly stupid, loud, dumb chunks of wood.

[kmla]

61. In spite of Tom Hank's successes as an actor,

"The Man with One Red Shoe" is absolutely unwatchable.

And let's not forget:

Howard the Duck
Hudson Hawk
The Last Action Hero
School Daze (a Spike Lee joint)
Stop, or My Mom Will Shoot
Exorcist II

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

63. DISORDERLIES!!!

By the way, as a Jim Henson (and Jennifer Connelley) fan I love Labirynth

[tjwash]

67. Of all time?

My all time list:

10) Plan 9 from Outer Space
9) Armageddon
8) Bride of the Gorilla
7) D.C. Cab
6) Godzilla and Mothra: The Battle For Earth
5) I Know What You Did Last Summer
4) Laserblast
3) Reefer Madness
2) SSSSSSS


And the number one bad movie of all time.....

1)Glen or Glenda

go figure, Ed Wood twice on the list

[Beefheart]

68. American Beauty

The most overhyped piece of trash movie ever!

[Delano]

73. Free Willy

The only film I ever walked out of was "Free Willy". I found everything about it excruciating. The obnoxious little kid, and his clueless parents, the EEEEVIL owner of the marine park in his red corvette - but the scene that made me leave was, when "Willy" didn't perform on cue, EVERYONE in the audience immediately stated screaming, stamping their feet, throwing things and generally terrorizing the whale. Too much of a stretch to me. It's a MARINE PARK. People who go there by and large, LIKE marine animals, and would not turn into jeering, abusive mobs at the drop of a hat.

I was also a bit annoyed at the animated "Pocahontas", where Poca was a 20-year old Barbie doll, rather than a 12 year old girl as in real life, and the white settlers were shown randomly DYNAMITING everything in sight, for no apparent reason. I'm not a history expert, but I'm pretty sure that the first thing they did upon getting off the boat was BLOW EVERYTHING UP AT RANDOM.

Oh, and in spite of the lovely Helen Slater, "Supergirl" was 2 1/2 hours of pure TORTURE.

[geniph]

76. I liked To Have and Have Not

but agree with the rest of your picks. I'd swap Forrest (takes a) Dump for the Bogey/Bacall movie, which is at least stylishly interesting.

[MikeG]

77. How about the 1984 Dune movie?

[keep_left]

79. Nobody's mentioned "Manos, Hands of Fate" yet?

I can't believe it...this has to be one of the worst things committed to film EVER. So bad that even the Mystery Science Theater people passed on it--repeatedly! (They were finally convinced to use it for an episode, and it's still unwatchable).

[Deja Q]

80. Right!

In no grand order:

Overdrawn at the Memory Bank

Star Trek 5

Star Trek 10 (just plain crap, yet another Logan waste of time)

Star Trek 8 (nice ideas ruined by bad and forced humor)

Gladiator (overly long, no plot structure, uneven pacing, spends too much time on minor things and glosses over potentially important things)

Sleeping with the Enemy

The Shadow

Batman and Robin

Diamonds are Forever

The World is Not Enough