What do you do when birthdays just mean

[hyphenate]

another year, another lost opportunity, another sign you're just getting older and not better?

No real angst, but a resignation that your face is not that of a fresh young adult anymore, that half the "sexy idols" nowadays are young enough to be your own children, that the other half are old enough to be your own father, and that what have you got to show for all the days of your life?

This will be number 48 coming up, and there doesn't seem to be much in my life to be so much proud of as having the impression on me that I haven't accomplished what I set out to do, nearly 30 years ago. I didn't marry, didn't have kids, didn't finish my education as I wanted to, and in fact often took the easy road instead of that which lead to something more defining.

I don't want pity or anything, I just want to comiserate. I know I'm not alone, and I know this is typically considered some sort of "mid-life crisis" but how do you deal with it? And especially how do you deal with it when your health isn't all that great and your pocketbook is empty?

Just curious to know if this is a moment that will pass, and if it is, when the hell will I get over it?


(P.S.: I tried to post this once, and it said it didn't post, but if it's a dupe, please feel free to delete the other copy if it ever shows up. Thank you.)

[mr_hat]

1. I'm right there with you. Good question, too. Um... Geez. Crap...

[glarius]

2. All I can say is I wish all good things for you in the future.....

It might help if you can remember that there are a lot of people a lot worse off. :loveya:

[NMDemDist2]

3. my birthday is Saturday

49--- I'm still working too hard and got no $$ either. But I did "continue" my education albeit not formally. I am lucky and have been married 10 years now (it's a rcord) and we still love each other so I am blessed.

Wish the old bod was in better shape-- bad backs stink



But all in all I am content with my life

I just am NOT happy about my country-- so I am trying to change it, 1 neighbor at a time.

[hyphenate]

5. Happy Birthday

Mine is Sunday, the 25th. The one thing I am blessed with is good friends. I lost one of my closest friends last June, and I know that's part of my whole viewpoint right now. I have another dear friend who is "kidnapping" me on Saturday and taking me away with her and her mom for the weekend. It might be just what I need--a change of venue.

[DAGDA56]

4. I'm also a '56 model...

...and for me, it helps to turn negatives into positives, if I can. No kids means a certain amount of freedom we wouldn't have otherwise...we are also smack dab in the middle of the largest single generation in American history, so there's lots of us out there. What do you have to show for all the days? A certain wisdom, for one thing (obviously since you are posting on DU) coupled with experiences that are uniquely yours. I try to stay as far away as possible from TV and the pervasive pop culture that can bring me down as well. I won't tell you to hang in there...you're already doing that. I will suggest you get out a bit...even if it's to walk around a mall and look at the people...also, thanks for sharing. It's always good to know we're not alone.

[SarahB]

6. Another year older and deeper in debt

[TOhioLiberal]

7. gee....

...I was beginning to think I was the only one who feels like that! My birthday is on the 27th, and I just can't get up any enthusiasm about it. No job, no money, no FUN! :(