I'd like to share an inspirational bible verse that helps to cheer me.

[JVS]

Ezekiel 23:20
There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

http://bible.gospelcom.net/cgi-bin/bible?language=english&passage=Ezekiel+23%3A20&version=NIV

Anyone else have a verse that helps to bring them through the rough patches in life?

[The Traveler]

1. Wow. I **do** feel inspired! Thanks! (n/t)

[JVS]

3. let the spirit move you!

[chenGOD]

30. If the emission is like a horse...

that ain't spirit movin ya!!!

[southerngirlwriter]

2. Also from Ezekiel

Ezekiel 20:29

Then I said unto them, "What is this high place you go to?" It is called Bama to this day." (emphasis mine, heh) :D

[DustMolecule]

4. A lotta folk been showin' their 'true color' today.....

that has nothin' to do with 'race' .... oh yes!

[JVS]

6. Care to elaborate?

[freetobegay]

5. Mine is

He wept.

[Lefty48197]

7. Yer a pervert.

and so was Ezekiel. And God too for that matter.

[The Zanti Regent]

8. I like the part where Lot's daughters get him drunk and then...

...as Paul Harvey says, "NOW YOU KNOW THE REST OF THE STORY..."

[JVS]

11. Oh yeah, Genesis 19

32 "Let's get our father drunk! Then we can sleep with him and have children."

[minkyboodle]

9. LOL

that was great

[JVS]

12. Glad you liked it.

The scripture is such a source of comfort in these difficult times

[Dover]

10. Democratic donkeys no doubt!

Viva la Liberte

[JVS]

13. These dudes were Egyptians, since there was no Democracy

at the time I doubt they were in any way affiliated with the Democratic party.

[aquart]

22. The asses with big dicks were Egyptians.

I can see this being engraved in every mens' room in Cairo.

Talk about an authoritative source.

[JVS]

23. Ooops I goofed. You are right.

[Kathleen04]

14. Personally I like the King James Version..

Ezekiel 23
20 For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

It's more classy. ;)

[JVS]

18. I believe that the scriptures should be available in the vernacular

So that people can easily read them, understand them, and follow their example. :7

[aquart]

15. Does John Ashcroft know people are reading this dirty book?

How did I ever miss the book of Ezekiel?

[rucky]

16. Okay, okay! I'll Convert!

just give me this Ezekiel chick's phone number.

[JVS]

19. The girl he was speaking of in that verse is named...

Oholibah. She and her sister Oholah were wicked.

They are dead now.

[rucky]

20. Ah, yes. The real wicked ones always have a sister.

[JVS]

21. I think you need to see the whole story to know just how wicked they were

1 The word of the LORD came to me: 2 "Son of man, there were two women, daughters of the same mother. 3 They became prostitutes in Egypt, engaging in prostitution from their youth. In that land their breasts were fondled and their virgin bosoms caressed. 4 The older was named Oholah, and her sister was Oholibah. They were mine and gave birth to sons and daughters. Oholah is Samaria, and Oholibah is Jerusalem.
5 "Oholah engaged in prostitution while she was still mine; and she lusted after her lovers, the Assyrians-warriors 6 clothed in blue, governors and commanders, all of them handsome young men, and mounted horsemen. 7 She gave herself as a prostitute to all the elite of the Assyrians and defiled herself with all the idols of everyone she lusted after. 8 She did not give up the prostitution she began in Egypt, when during her youth men slept with her, caressed her virgin bosom and poured out their lust upon her.
9 "Therefore I handed her over to her lovers, the Assyrians, for whom she lusted. 10 They stripped her naked, took away her sons and daughters and killed her with the sword. She became a byword among women, and punishment was inflicted on her.
11 "Her sister Oholibah saw this, yet in her lust and prostitution she was more depraved than her sister. 12 She too lusted after the Assyrians-governors and commanders, warriors in full dress, mounted horsemen, all handsome young men. 13 I saw that she too defiled herself; both of them went the same way.
14 "But she carried her prostitution still further. She saw men portrayed on a wall, figures of Chaldeans <1> portrayed in red, 15 with belts around their waists and flowing turbans on their heads; all of them looked like Babylonian chariot officers, natives of Chaldea. <2> 16 As soon as she saw them, she lusted after them and sent messengers to them in Chaldea. 17 Then the Babylonians came to her, to the bed of love, and in their lust they defiled her. After she had been defiled by them, she turned away from them in disgust. 18 When she carried on her prostitution openly and exposed her nakedness, I turned away from her in disgust, just as I had turned away from her sister. 19 Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. 20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. 21 So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.

[rucky]

26. we must've skipped that one in Hebrew school

i might have stuck around

[The Traveler]

24. I dated sisters once

Twins. They had been swapping on me for a couple of weeks before I figured it out. Man, they were wicked. God bless 'em.:evilgrin:

[rucky]

25. robg has lived the dream

:yourock:

[The Traveler]

27. Only briefly

They dumped me for the quarterback. Seriously. **sigh**

[strategery blunder]

17. My favorites

Jeremiah 14:14
Then the LORD said to me, "The prophets are prophesying lies in my name. I have not sent them or appointed them or spoken to them. They are prophesying to you false visions, divinations, idolatries, and the delusions of their own minds."

Luke 12:15
Then he said to them, (the crowd) "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."

Matthew 23:15
"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are." (Sound like Bush proselytizing?)

Matthew 5: 9
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

[JVS]

33. Luke 12:15 reminds me of a scene in Fight Club

[strategery blunder]

34. Please describe

I've never seen Fight Club before.

[JVS]

41. There is a scene in Fight Club where a character says...

You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis.

[JVS]

28. Kick for the day crew

[RunOfTheMillDemocrat]

29. What cheers or inspires you about this verse?

It seems an odd verse to bring about inspriration.

[JVS]

31. The word of the Lord is always an inspiration, but this verse...

demonstrates God's sense of humor.

[RunOfTheMillDemocrat]

32. O-kay

I am reminded that God works in mysterious ways ...

[ironflange]

35. The whole chapter

would make a good Tarentino movie. Lots of sex, body parts being chopped off, etc.

[HEyHEY]

36. Now, Idon't know who wrote the bible

But they know WAAAYYYY to much about equinne genitalia

[m-jean03]

37. That really is funny shit!

But I think a lot of people are skipping over it, like I did earlier, because they aren't Christians. Well thanks for posting, it was a nice surprise to ROFL !

[NewHampster]

38. I Hope Ashcroft bans this Porn and throws the author in the pokey

Wait. Can Ashcroft throw God in jail while God's busy helping dubya win the war?

[DemoTex]

39. I like Acts 9:5 (KJV)

"It is hard to kick against the pricks."

[JVS]

40. That's a good one. I'll be sure to remember it in the future

[gpandas]

42. very good nt

[Whitacre D_WI]

43. Deuteronomy 25:11

Look it up yerself, I ain't here to babysit yas.

[Ladyhawk]

44. II Kings 2: 23-24, Psalm 137:9 and Deuteronomy 28:53

II Kings 2: 23-24

"And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.

"And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them."

Psalm 137:9

"Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones."

Deuteronomy 28:53

"And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters, which the LORD thy God hath given thee."

It's nice to know that God will kill sniveling little brats if they mock me. Just the knowledge of God's love for me over little children helps me get through the day.

[LynneSin]

45. How about Mark 12:28-40 or Matthew 6:5-6

Mark12:28-40
38As he taught, Jesus said, "Watch out for the teachers of the law. They like to walk around in flowing robes and be greeted in the marketplaces, 39and have the most important seats in the synagogues and the places of honor at banquets. 40They devour widows' houses and for a show make lengthy prayers. Such men will be punished most severely."

Matthew 6:5-6
5"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 6But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you

(mind you in modern times we can replace "synagogue" which "church"

[Ladyhawk]

46. I Timothy 2:12-15

2:12

But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

2:13
For Adam was first formed, then Eve.

2:14
And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.

2:15
Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

It's nice to know that I'm going straight to hell. It saves me the ambiguity. Not only do I not believe, but I cannot have children.

It also makes it so much easier, letting men like George W. Bush and John Ashcroft do the thinking and teaching. They must know better since Eve was the one who was deceived and I am forever tainted by her decision. Men aren't quite as tainted because Adam was not deceived.

Isn't it nice how well this works out?