Entertain me, peasants

[Zomby Woof]

[Fenris]

1. Well I didn't vote for you.

King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
Woman: Well how'd you become king then?
(Angelic music plays... )
King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.
Dennis: (interrupting) Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

[Zomby Woof]

3. not a bad start

Ni!

[Fenris]

4. Are you saying Ni to that old woman?

King Arthur: Um, yes.
Roger the Shrubber: Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say Ni at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress in this period in history.
King Arthur: Did you say shrubberies?
Roger the Shrubber: Yes, shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.

[A HERETIC I AM]

19. Your mother was a hamster......

and your father smelt...of Elderberries!!!!!!




You cheesy lover, second hand, electric donkey bottom biters.........



Well, could we come up and have a look?
OF COURSE NOT! You are English types.
Well what are you, then?


AHHHM FRENCH! WHY DO YOU THINK I HAVE THIS OUTRAAAGEOUS ACCENT YOU SILLY KING?

Now go away or i shall taunt you a second time.

[Ladyhawk]

27. Consult the Book of Armaments.

First shalt thou take out the holy pin. Then shalt thou count to three: no more; no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of thy counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count; neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in my sight shall snuff it.

[burrowowl]

2. Said Marie-Antoinette

and they laughed her head off.

[rwenos]

5. And then. . ..

. . . her milky white breasts, and then they drew and quartered the body.

Ya gotta give it to the French, they're passionate!

[TheMightyFavog]

17. October 16, 1793..

"The Day Marie Antoinette gave the ultimate head!" -- Robin Williams

[jpgray]

6. I demand satisfaction!

Our Spanish skills quarrel ends this day! My conjugation of verbs and my cute acronym mnemonics to remember irregular verbs will brook no challenger! Nothing ensures a blood vendetta more than a humorous correction that backfires, and so therefore I challenge you, sir!

Actually as recently as last week I locked my keys in the building where I work. We have a Hispanic janitor there who doesn't speak English, and so I tried to explain what I had locked inside. Imagine my dismay when after wondering why he found my predicament so amusing I realized I had confused 'tijeras' and 'llaves'. :D

[Zomby Woof]

7. shoulda had a taco

Smooth good tacos go yum! in your tummy.

[Catshrink]

12. hel Taco or Taco Hell?

Del Taco for me.... Although Rubio's fish tacos are most excellent.

[Zomby Woof]

23. it was even worse

A Safeway deli product. :P

But it was yummy after HOURS without food.

[jus_the_facts]

8. here's a little groove....to entertain ye peasant.....

ZZ Top ~ Tres Hombres
Jesus Just Left Chicago :evilgrin:

Jesus just left Chicago and he's bound for New Orleans.
Well now, Jesus just left Chicago and he's bound for New Orleans.
Yeah, yeah.
Workin' from one end to the other and all points in between.

Took a jump through Mississippi, well, muddy water turned to wine.
Took a jump through Mississippi, muddy water turned to wine.
Yeah, yeah.
Then out to California through the forests and the pines.
Ah, take me with you, Jesus.

You might not see him in person but he'll see you just the same.
You might not see him in person but he'll see you just the same.
Yeah, yeah.
You don't have to worry 'cause takin' care of business is his name.

[Zomby Woof]

10. take it away jesus!!

I still have that album on vinyl, the way it is meant to be played! :D

By law, you MUST play "Waitin' For The Bus" first!!!! :bounce:

Their music goes good with tacos!

[woofless]

9. I fear that I can but grovel before Your Vastness.

Will that suffice?

[SarahB]

11. I could read you a story.

[Zomby Woof]

13. thanks!

Somebody doesn't get dada around here - the taco thread was mistaken for a sex thread. :wtf: I enjoyed the taco I had for dinner and tried to have some fun... wow! :D

Some people's imaginations are more vivid than mine, lol.

[SarahB]

16. Probably my fault

For adding Tobasco flavored Monistat to the thread. :scared: Bad Sarah! :spank:

[Name removed]

18. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[SarahB]

20. I don't know if I can, but....

I was expanding on your assorted dada-isms with my assorted weirdnesses. Everyone knows your not some perv here (we have enough of those already).

[Zomby Woof]

21. no apology needed!

Beige is my new favorite color.

[eileen from OH]

14. God, this just reminded me of a grade school story

The teacher was talking about medieval times and serfs and peasants and stuff and their awful lives and suddenly Charlie Featherstone (why DO we remember these names?) started audibly crying.

"What's the problem, Charlie?" asked the teacher.

"My dad. . .my dad. . .my dad. . .(sob) my dad SHOT a peasant this weekend."


eileen from OH

[Zomby Woof]

15. that's funny and sad at the same time!

I am telling you, you can't get stories like that anywhere else but the Lounge!

[SOteric]

22. I need a little music from the band, -

[Zomby Woof]

25. careful!

You'll put my eye out!

[SOteric]

28. Sorry.

Wardrobe failure.

[Zomby Woof]

29. lol

I know too much pop culture for my own good.

Taco? :-)

[vajraroshana]

24. here i'm iz

you fill in the rest...

great nick, zombywoof!

zappa rules.

[Zomby Woof]

26. Welcome to DU, barking!

That he does... :toast:

[vajraroshana]

30. thanks for the welcome

i've been here a while though just haven't posted much. usually just read lbn. in truth i was here at the beginning after the inauguration where i saw du posters in the crowd on the tube. i had the nick barking23 (without the underscore), but forgot my password and then changed my internet provider, so i couldn't retrieve my password (because my email addy changed) and had to start over eventually ( a couple of years later). for a while i was just too sickened over the whole mess to even want to look at anything political.

here's an entertaining tidbit. when i was first here with that nickname i posted a message saying we all should put our headlights on to protest the inauguration of the selected president, because here in the south when there's a funeral, people drive in the wake with their headlights on. my point being we should be mourning the death of democracy in our country. good gawd how i was flamed by all the repuke trolls that were flooding the board. i had only been on the internet for about a month and was just appalled. one sicko just posted one long string of "f*** you's" and called me all sorts of names.

i'm really glad it's moderated now.

and since i've been reading in these lighter areas like the lounge, i've been really pleasantly surprised by all the zappa fans.

man don't you wish he was still with us?