Put down the almanac and back away from the car, your terrorist!

[Darwin2002]

Now if you have an almanac you might be a terrorist?

FBI Issues Alert Against Almanac Carriers
8 minutes ago Add U.S. National - AP to My Yahoo!


By TED BRIDIS, Associated Press Writer

WASHINGTON - The FBI (news - web sites) is warning police nationwide to be alert for people carrying almanacs, cautioning that the popular reference books covering everything from abbreviations to weather trends could be used for terrorist planning.



In a bulletin sent Christmas Eve to about 18,000 police organizations, the FBI said terrorists may use almanacs "to assist with target selection and pre-operational planning."


It urged officers to watch during searches, traffic stops and other investigations for anyone carrying almanacs, especially if the books are annotated in suspicious ways.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=519&ncid=519&e=1&u=/ap/20031230/ap_on_re_us/fbi_almanacs

[101 Proof]

1. Oh shit...

so now when I'm reading an almanac at the library, I'm gonna get arrested by the CIA and thrown into Gitmo. :eyes:

Where the hell does the FBI get their intelligence (or lack thereof) from???

[Generic Other]

31. The new Osama Farmer's Almanac

[Garage Queen]

40. Yeah, they're going to use an almanac...

when, up until this week, with the click of a button you could get a satellite photo of ANY address in the United States, including national monuments, bridges, tunnels and AIRPORTS on mapquest.com.

But no, them there terrrarists are EDUCATED and they READ n' stuff. Must have bushie* shaking in his boots.

[Syncronaut Seven]

2. I'll memorize the first chapter

You memorize the second. We'll meetup around the campfire after the mushroom clouds dissipate.

These guys are even giving a bad name to assclowns.

[evil_orange_cat]

3. free exchange of ideas... freedom of information... first casualty

in becoming a police state, you must first take away information... first almanacs, and now the government is using the excuse "we might tip off terrorists" in explaining why specific threat information isn't released.

[Doc_Technical]

4. Come and get me flatfoot!

I have a mind of my own and I'm not afraid to use it!

[mkultra]

5. guy named muhammed

Almost as stupid as the waiter being fired at a bush banquet for being named muhammed.

[zbdent]

6. And I thought you were shittin' me. I looked on Yahoo.com

and there it was.

Oh, god. You know, in Germany, you could be shot for having a radio.

[Southpaw Bookworm]

29. Ditto

When I first saw this story here, I thought someone had once again mistaken The Onion for a real news source. Just when you think they can't get any more ducking stupid, the U.S. government manages to surprise once again.

I work at a library where are goodly percentage of our patrons have emigrated from Muslim countries. Would instructing them about the ready reference section make me an accessory? I get a little nervous when access to information starts getting restricted.

[newyawker99]

41. Hi Southpaw Bookworm!!

Welcome to DU!! :toast:

[guitar man]

7. Insanity

It is really starting to show. They have lost their fucking marbles.What's next,dictionaries,emcyclopedias?

[zbdent]

8. Prove you're an idiot, or to the "re-education" camps you go

you intellectual!

[guitar man]

43. I'm screwed

If I have to prove I am an idiot......no,wait a minute,I was working on an impression of GW* for a stand up routine a couple years ago. I ahd better brush up on it:)

[carols]

10. And atlases, and weather maps and special security clearences for MapQuest

This from an organization that couldn't find Chandra Levy for over a year? If anyone needs a damn almanac it is the motherfucking FBI. "We're the FBI dammit, and if we don't know where stuff is, NOBODY is going to know where stuff is! Getting lost - it's not just a good idea. It's the LAW!"
Carol

[Unforgiven]

42. Nice Shot

My wife Loves your post, I got off on it too! :) ;)

[Generic Other]

9. As that old terrorist Ben Franklin said

"Sell not virtue to purchase wealth
nor liberty to purchase power."

[Military Brat]

11. Uh-oh, hands up! I almost bought a compass today.

I received my Hammond Atlas in the mail a couple weeks ago, and I got an almanac for a planting guide last week. Bought it at my local bookstore. The owner's brother works at Central Command, I sh** you not!

Oh, woe is me, woe is me. Shall I buy that GPS? Methinks not.

[MikeG]

12. From my cold dead hands, Mr. Ashcroft!!!!

[Deesh]

13. You would think...

...that John Ashcroft would be embarrassed to have a story like this in circulation.

Evidently he isn't.

Thoughtful people in other countries must think we're idiots over here.

[citizen snips]

14. What will they think of next?

[thebigidea]

15. wow, I couldn't have made this up if I tried

I stand humbled before you, HomeSec. Praise Ridge!

[frogfromthenorth2]

16. FAHRENHEIT 451 wasn't science fiction?!?!?

wow

[FDRrocks]

17. neither was 1984.

It's a weird world now. We are on a slippery slope, but the major parties seemingly don't mind.

"Police warned to look out for educated people"

AP December 29, 2006 - The FBI requested police nationwide to ask civilians to report any educated people they can find. It is thought that such people could use thier knowledge to plan a terrorist attack.

[frogfromthenorth2]

18. Time to buy more duct tape....

....

[lpbk2713]

19. Little League Baseball and Brownie Troops are to be disbanded.......

..... under the latest Asscrotch edict due to their potential for subversive organizational indoctrination.

[Praetorian]

20. Proof in Written Form!

That the Bush Administration really wants a country full of people just like themselves:

Ridiculously, absurdly idiotic!

Fear our intelligence Bush, Ridge and As$croft! It's what makes us better than you!

[Generic Other]

21. Those found with multiple copies of the yellow pages to be questioned?

French cookbooks to be scrutinized as well? Snicker.

[silverweb]

22. Well, that settles it!

I'm buying my Old Farmer's Almanac on line with my credit card right now - and when it arrives, I'm going to leave it on the front seat of the car.

I am so sick to death of these Nazi bastards!

I will buy and read whatever I damn well please and I defy them to stop me. :grr:

Anyway, I need an Almanac to check the correct moon phases for planting and harvesting in my herb garden.

[Piperay]

23. If who has an almanac is

their plan for catching terrorists the war on terror is long lost, what a pathetic "reach" this is. :wtf:

[Hekate]

24. Every time I think it couldn't possibly get more bizarre...

:argh:

The madmen are in charge of the insane asylum.


Howard Dean for President in 2004: "Because politics is not a spectator sport."

[regnaD kciN]

25. When almanacs are outlawed, only outlaws will have almanacs.

They'll get my almanac when they pry it from my cold dead fingers.

Defend freedom -- Join the NAA!

[Tracer]

26. This was reported last night on Boston's Channel 5 ...

... without a hint of irony Ñ by that nincompoop newsreader, Liz Brunner Ñ who adopted her patented "worried" look while mouthing the story.

Gag me.

[pnziii]

27. Benjamin Franklin a terrorist????

I thought it odd that he was the one that started it all with the Farmer's Almenac!

[spindoctor]

28. It's getting harder and harder to take these people serious...

Actually, that has been quite impossible for some time.

Off I go to buy an almanac...this I want to see.

[RFKHumphreyObama]

30. Are they trying to destroy the tourism industry?

When I was in the United States a few months ago, I carried an almanac around with me constantly. It had advice on cheap hotels, guides to popular places to eat and recommendations on what to see and do.

Tourists who come to the US will almost certainly carry almanacs -the US is quite an intimidating place (as is any country) if you have not visited before and you need to know your way around.

[Cleita]

32. Absolutely f'ing ridiculous.

I buy an almanac every year for my husband. He uses it to help him with his crossword puzzles. So I guess we two old farts are suspected terrorists now.

[Name removed]

33. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[IrateCitizen]

34. I believe you're thinking of your mother

It's always nice to be exposed to such highbrow humor from the FR crowd, though. Thanks for coming!

[Generic Other]

35. Beautiful assonance in your post: "CUM GUZZLING GUTTER SLUTS"

And the alliterative quality of the double consonants is so striking. Mind if I borrow that phrase, Deer Sniper? Oops, I see the message has been deleted. Never mind.

[MisterP]

36. is that supposed to remind me of my new govynorr?

[Generic Other]

37. You think Arnie posted that message?

Yes, I can just imagine the gutteral rolling vibration of the vowels as he speaks.

Don't tell me it was his campaign slogan!

[carols]

44. Wow! The religious right checked in and I missed it!

I must have been too busy burning my atlas. Damn!
Carol :-)

[ElsewheresDaughter]

38. oh crap i must be 3 x's a terrorist...i have 3 almanacs

:scared:

[cedahlia]

39. Well, I'm screwed

As an aspiring librarian, it seems I'm on a fast road to becoming public enemy #1! :eyes: