Giving The Gift Of Bush

[Plaid Adder]

So, one of the presents under the tree for me this year was the 12" George W. Bush talking doll.

My father, the fiscal republican, gave this to me, presumably because he thought it would be funny. (My parents don't know about the column, but they know enough to know I am no friend of Bush.) I kind of thought it might be, but instead I merely found it disturbing. The problem is, this talking doll is *just like the real Bush.*

HOw? Let me count the ways:

1. If you push his button, he spouts a nonsensical soundbite that has nothing to do with the situation.

2. He doesn't seem to be able to balance very well.

3. He has a vague presidential "bulge," but there's nothing but air between his ears.

4. His knees don't bend, but his hips are jointed. So he's not very flexible, but he does a good goosestep.

5. He doesn't move or speak unless someone else is manipulating him.

Anyway, I could go on, but the main thing is I just found the whole thing creepy. I tried hogtying him to see if that would be fun, but really it wasn't. There's something about the whole anatomically correct doll thing that just seems kinky to me, and I don't want that part of my brain hooking up with the part that normally deals with Bush.

Anyway, I got home from my parents' and went back to the inlaws, where I presented my partners' parents with one of their gifts: the official George W. Bush Pants On Fire doll!

As soon as I saw this featured right here on DU, I went, "Oh my God...I'LL TAKE A DOZEN!" In the end, I only got one. I think the URL for them is www.pantsonfire.org. It's a cloth doll dressed in a cowboy suit with flames coming out of the pants in front and back. The head is printed with a really unflattering picture of Bush at his chimpiest.

It was a huge hit with the in-laws, who are as disturbed by Bush as I am but are unable to defend themselves with the same kind of cynical irony I am normally able to muster. They laughed and laughed at it. They discussed the question of where to hang him for a long time, and finally ended up putting him in the kitchen with the TV where they watch the news. What they like about him, apart from the pants being on fire, is that it looks so goofy and dorky. The shape of the head kind of reminds one of that Edvard Munch "Scream" guy.

Anyway, if anyone wants a 12" talking Bush figurine, I got one you can have for cheap. But if you have belated Christmas shopping to do for a Democrat in your life, I heartily recommend Pants On Fire Bush.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[Cleita]

1. Look at the silver lining.

Maybe someone else will give you 4 inch dressmaker's pins and some black candles. :-)

[mudwhistle]

2. Gift of Bush

My how original.

[RushIsRot]

3. I was the recipient of a Pants On Fire doll this year...

..and it has been hanging and swaying in the back window of my car ever since I got it. It is hilarious!