Its a civil war now and Im angry

[Mari333]

My brother called my mom and made snide remarks about how Saddam has been captured and I, as a peace activist, am all wrong. This is the email I sent him..its harsh, but Im tired of being nice to Republicans.

Dear Andy and Sue:
> Lets get one thing straight right off the bat. Dont call my mother and
make
> snide remarks about me...you do it again, and Ill cut you off for good.
No2#
> My stepson is about to face the possibility of death because of people
like
> you..thats the bottom line...from this point on all Republicans and people
> like you are not allowed to speak to me or my family. While you are
sitting
> in your cozy armchairs enjoying this illegal war like a football game,
> actual kids are dying for NOTHING but greedy assholes who run the Bush
> administration...
> Here, mull on this for a while
> www.newamericancentury.org
> www.mfso.org
> www.bringthemhomenow.com
> and while you are eating dinner some night in your comfy house, remember
> this father holding his daughter thanks to your AWOL pResident attacking a
> country pre emptively that had nothing to do with 9/11.
>
> Republicans are my enemies. If you are a Republican, You are my enemy.
> Its that simple.
> Too bad it had to come to this. Dont write back, I will just delete it.
> Marianne
>

[LSparkle]

1. Bravo!!!!!

I'm about to face Christmas with relatives who are Air Force and as a peace activist, it's making me darned nervous, because I don't think I'll be able to hold my tongue. It's gotten so bad that I want to ask all of my "friends" whether they're Repukes or whether they support the war or Shrub because if they do, I feel the same way you do -- they are my ENEMIES. I hate to think it's come to this but it has ... thanks, Mr. "Uniter-Not-Divider". Bet there are lots of people who are going through similar problems, so don't think you're alone on this!!!

[MrScorpio]

6. Don't worry guy, I'm Air Force too

And my opinion about the war probably doesn't differ all that much form yours. (I'm a DUer after all)

Don't be nervous, stand by your principles and if you disagree, try not to be disagreeable.

Us Air Force types are little more smarter than the average bear.

[Cheswick2.0]

39. very good advice

Folks, just keep politely pointing out the truth. Capturing Saddam has nothing to do with why we went to Iraq. The bush gang lied to get us there. Yes Saddam was a bad guy, but he is not the only one and certainly not the worst one out there. However thanks to is tens of thousands of Iraqis are dead as well as american and coalition forces and rignt wing corporations linked to bush administration officials are raking in the profits.

[Hogarth]

26. It's put my father and me at odds, and that's odd, to say the least

He's always been supportive and positive in all things, but when I talk about opposition to the war and expatriation, he gets downright nasty. God, it makes me tired and depressed.

[cthrumatrix]

43. facts are your friends.....good for you....were with you...!!!!!!!!!!

[cheapbeemr]

56. You might tell them about Karen Kawaitowski, Lt. Col. USAF (ret.)

She's writing a lot now about what she calls the 'fascist neo-cons,' whom she observed first-hand at her last Pentagon assignment.

[JailBush]

2. Remember: Blood is thicker than politics.

Then again, I'm not sure if Republicans have blood running in their veins.

[Mari333]

13. My stepsons in Iraqs blood is thicker then some repukes

in my biological family. I owe them nothing.

[wuushew]

3. Yes its a hash feeling I had to fend off a conservative today

When he said this makes Bush's reelection much more likely I lost it and said that he is not my President since I never voted for him and he was the result of massive electoral fraud in Florida.

[Lefta Dissenter]

4. Nobody can accuse you of not speaking from your heart.

That's a very powerful letter.

I only got in two fights with my brother-in-law on Thanksgiving. When I asked him how he'll feel when his three kids are drafted, he said, "I'll be glad for them. They'll be able to go to defend our country." Well, at that point I realized that he is truly insane, and I wished him and his family good luck.

I'm really looking forward to Christmas. :(

[Sugarbleus]

38. LOL..'I realized he was truly insane...lol Good luck Vote

[SammyWinstonJack]

45. Would he be willing to go in their place?

Unbelievable that any parent would want their children to go to war, especially wars started for the reasons Bushco, inc. starts them. Great parent, willing to sacrifice his children and other's for oil profits. :-(

[liberalhistorian]

88. Oh, believe me,

there are more than enough nutballs around who feel that way. My own son's father was going on and on last summer when I came to pick my son up from an afternoon visit about how he wished he could have been able to join the military (he had several physical problems and they wouldn't take him when he graduated from high school 25 years ago).

I made the mistake of saying that our son, my only child (he has a three-year-old son with his fiance) was NEVER going to go in the military if I could help it, and that he'd promised me he never would. Freeper father got red in the face and asked how I could say that, that that would be the best thing possible for him (he's always telling my son that the military turns you into a man and is the best thing since sliced bread). I then said to him that yes, he'd feel that way until he was killed in a war, then how would he feel? He said, and I'm not making this up here, "then I'd be goddamned proud, prouder than ever before in my life, that he gave his very life for his country!!!!!"

Jesus H. Christ, I just simply could NOT believe he said that! His own son killed in a senseless war and he'd be fucking PROUD? God, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE? Have they really so totally bought into all that propaganda bullshit that they can't even think anymore?

[Clark Can WIN]

5. Please rethink this

If, God forbid Andy and Sue are in a car wreck and die tonight, how will you feel about the last thing you said to your brother.

Iv'e got a family that's chock full of freepers. We just avoid politics. There's a million other things to talk about, pick something else. Be bigger than he is. Think of your mom, you know she doesn't want this. You be the better person.

[Mari333]

14. All Republicans are my enemies.

I could care less what happens to them.

[Clark Can WIN]

18. If this is how you really feel you should get into a therapist

Because it is totally unhealthy to carry around this much hostility for family members especially. It will hurt you much more than it will hurt him. And it will hurt your mom too.

[Eloriel]

28. Leave her alone

You probably have no idea what's she's been through and are in no position -- morally or practically -- to imagine you know what's best for her. Very condescending and patronizing.

[Muddleoftheroad]

29. She did post it

While I can't grasp what she is going through, she did post it and invite comments. Face it, the e-mail was all but declaring a family feud -- because they disagreed. That's overreacting.

Personally, I don't think that anyone should post such personal things unless they are ready for all kinds of comment.

[calimary]

86. Just more fallout brought to you by Mr. "I'm a uniter, not a divider."

I'm just grateful nobody discusses politics around our family table. Because sometimes I find myself, even in the most mundane of venues - like in my car in traffic, or in the checkout line at the store or some place, wondering how many of the people around me are bush-bots.

[Clark Can WIN]

32. Uh, no

it isn't. Caring about someone's mental health is not patronizing, it's caring. I care about her state of mind. I hate to see anyones family falling apart over politics. We can't change the world with hate. Hate destroys, and it destroys the hater first. I feel the most sorry for her mom.

In making this post she was reaching out for comment, Eloriel. I suspect your response to my post, ironicaly, has more to do with politics.

[leftofthedial]

62. I am worried about your mental health ccw

I think you are bottling up your strong anti-Bush sentiments to an unhealthy degree. By not confronting your family "chock full of freepers," you are stting the stage for serious emotional and physical ailments in your future.

I think you should let the anger and the hatred out. Let your family members know ho wyou really feel about their treason and their suypport for the permananent damage their leaders are doing in thew world.

Every freeper is an accomplice to murder, treason and environmental destruction and deserves the harshest possible punishment. You keeping your feelings bottled up like this is unhealthy and is a sure sign of mental illness.

Please get help.

[Clark Can WIN]

84. Let my anger and hatred out?

I do, for Bush. I don't misdirect it onto my family members. I do not confuse my contempt for the Bush administration and wash my sister and other family members in it.

Your attempt at dry wit is unsucsessful.

[leftofthedial]

89. alas! another failure I'll have to learn to live with

where did you get your degree in psychology?

[LeahMira]

65. Wow! OK... let's do something about this.

Caring about someone's mental health is not patronizing, it's caring. I care about her state of mind. I hate to see anyones family falling apart over politics. We can't change the world with hate.

OK, I'm Jewish and don't participate in the family gathering thing at this time of the year, but I do understand how it goes.

I would like to invite all of you to celebrate Hanukkah this year. :-)

But seriously, maybe it would be a good time to create some new traditions in our own households that would help us get through the larger family gatherings without exploding. Would it be better to make December 23 a day of peace at home to gather strength, or would it be better to make it December 26 so we'd have a day of peace at home to look forward to? Let's not make it another hassle day, but just a day or even just an evening when we do something special that refreshes our spiritual/emotional resources. Maybe each person put an ornament on the tree and say what s/he hopes for? Maybe a candle-light lunch, even if it's PB&J sandwiches? Anything to give people something to hold on to. Ideas?

[Kanary]

75. Traditionally, Dec 26th is "Boxing Day"

That's when all the roles are reversed... the ones higher on the ladder trade places with the ones lower on the ladder, simply put. Seems like a fine way to reduce tensions. ^_^

I like the 23rd as a day of peace. However, if there is no peace in the family to begin with, and it just becomes one more burden to carry for the peace person, then that wouldn't resolve too much.

Then they are those who are alone....

Happy Chanukah!

Kanary

[diamondsoul]

78. It's not over politics.

Unfortunately the politics are just the umbrella for the views, views that may get someone she loves killed.

Gloating to someone connected with military personnel because you think a war they oppose is just, simply because we caught a bad guy, is revolting no matter what your politics are. Even more so when it's a member of your own family.

Mari is reacting, and nobody has any business suggesting she's mentally ill because she's furious. She has every right to be furious and to define the target of her outrage on her own.

[Generic Other]

61. I agree

Maybe if more of us let the opposition know what the stakes were, they might actually think about their kneejerk responses. i too have no more to do with Republican members of my family. I don't have the a choice about putting up with Bush, but I don't have to associate with his blind, stupid followers. I don't have the energy or patience to have my intelligence insulted by such individuals whose shaky arguments always seem to require my agreement to validate them. When I refuse, they get ugly and start ridiculing, abusing, or praying for me. Gack.

I have avoided family gatherings since Bush came into office.

I take it personally when my own family joins my enemies in trying to destroy my country. I consider Bush's actions in office more threatening to my community than anything Saddam ever did. Saddam did not cut healthcare for seniors in my state. He did not give my tax dollars to the wealthy. He is not going to destroy my social security system. Saddam did not make the world more hostile to the United States.

But my neighbors, colleagues, and relatives who voted Republican sure did. And if they compound the error by doing it again, they are as dead to me as their own consciences are to them.

[diamondsoul]

80. I just piss them off. *evil grin*

I've taught my 2 yr old to say "YAY Kucinich!"....of all the candidates I could have chosen to back he's the one who makes them nuttiest.:evilgrin:

[SammyWinstonJack]

46. Family members

Those are sometimes people you wouldn't pick as friends. Some family members are meant/deserve to be ignored. That appears to be the case here.

[Patriot_Spear]

69. Is that a picture of Clark and Rush Limbaugh?

Who is it?

[WoodrowFan]

76. It's Max Cleland, NOT Rushbo!

That's Max Cleland, (D GA) who was smeared by Rove and company and defeated for relection in 2002.

[Mari333]

73. Dont worry my mom thinks my brother is an asshole too

and she wont be voting for Bush again.

[WhoCountsTheVotes]

60. I understand how you feel, I have a freeper in the family

We haven't really talked about politics since 911. After reading an email he sent out honestly, sincerely, hoping for nuclear war, I realized that he is ILL, literally, I believe it is an emotional sickness. That's how you have to deal with it - have you ever taken care of an elderly person with dementia? - it's the same thing.

I'm not trying to be crass but I really believe some people have been so affected by propaganda is has hurt their mental and emotional health, sort of like a stress reaction. I've noticed the more someone watches TV news, the more likely they are to have this illness.

At least, looking at it like that helps me deal with it. Good luck.

[Hogarth]

34. Oh, Brother!

I think that's far too easy to say for anyone whose son/daughter is not being yanked out of the family and put in harm's way for 18 months.

My son is in the process now of making me his power of attorney because he doesn't know what's going to happen once he leaves. He's terrified.

And if anyone tells me, "He signed up for this," I'll blow a tube. He signed up before the Crusades began, during peacetime, and it made me proud. He simply wanted to be an MP in the Reserves so that he could better his chances of becoming a police officer here at home.

[Clark Can WIN]

36. More hate is not the answer

Not in your own family.

If you must hate, hate Bush, not your siblings. I would be a total nutcase if my daughter was on the way to Iraq, but this seems misdirected and somewhat irrational. Definately unhealthy. So much pain and ugliness in the world. Making more of it only hurts us.

[Dhalgren]

74. If this country were being taken over by

an external enemy, and members of your family were actively collaborating with the invaders - turning freedom fighters in, donating to the enemy causes, shouting down patriots and keeping tabs on peoples activities - you might grow to hate and disown these traitors. This is how many view Bush and his enablers and supporters. This is a domestic, facist takeover of our country. We have to view this as war, because the enemy does. We need to stop showing up at the gunfights with knives.

[Sugarbleus]

40. I will remember your son........................................

I would be FREAKING OUT if my child was off to the war.

My beautiful young daughter went right from high school into the army thinking she was going to get a chance at college. SHE ENDED UP IN IRAQ '91. She was freaked out of her mind at least at first. She was disgusted with how things 'were' over there. I layed on the floor in front of my TV every single day...praying and taping every single piece of video. I remember, I remember...
It is hell. I'm am soooooo grateful she made it back and never gave a second thought about re enlisting etc.
My tender thoughts go with your son and dwell with you.

[Hogarth]

44. Kind Words; thank you.

... and I like the "Axis of Evil" display. Mari and I each have sweatshirts emblazoned with the same image.

Be well; and again, thanks for speaking kindly.

[calimary]

87. I will, too.

And if my kid were over there facing God-knows-what for an unjustified war that we had to be lied into, I'd be outta-my-mind furious. I don't know what I'd do. Don't know if they'd even allow me to go in his place. My prayers are with you folks. I wish there was more we could do that would make a difference. Not enough of us yet to storm the White House and drag the assholes out physically.

[leftchick]

42. I have a similar situation......

My sympathies to all with loved ones being sent over to the oil occupation. I pray your son stays safe as well. I have a nephew in the marines who thinks he is going to engineering school right out of basics. I have a wonderful cousin, 38 years old, wife and three kids, and he is a Deputy Sheriff who is in the Army Reserves. He has been in Iraq since Feb. 2003. He was just home for two weeks and is now back west of Baghdad for who knows how long. My mother is a total right wing lunatic who feels our relatives are "protecting our freedoms"....:puke:
omg.....I am dreading Christmas!

[Military Brat]

59. Protecting our freedom? More like "protecting our me-dumb"

That's the most asinine rationalization that the gullible public has swallowed hook, line and all-the-way-to-the-bottom sinker. Anyone who says we're over there protecting our freedoms, this is because bush** said we were attacked because "they hate our freedom." That doesn't exactly explain why all those other free and thriving countries in the world were not attacked, does it? America is a symbol of arrogance and imperialism; that's why we were attacked.

The bush** believers have an outlook which can be summed up as me, me, me, it's all about me, me, me, and the rest of the world can go to hell. And that's just plain dumb. There is no real thought process going on. That's why I call it "me-dumb."

I've got to go now, I'm spitting nails, I'm so angry at this nonsense that we're protecting our freedoms or defending our country. The greatest hoax of the 21st Century.

And for the record, Saddam was being held captive for several weeks before he was "caught" by the U.S. Wait for news of this to trickle out little by little. Nothing the bush** administration presents to the U.S. is ever what it appears to be.

[forgethell]

7. I'm sorry for you.

I can't think of anybody that I love that I would be willing to cut off over politics, or almost anything, short of actual murder (committed by them, personally). Even then, I would support them till their guilt had been definitely established.

I hope that I never have to feel so about an issue.


good luck, and best wishes.

[Silverhair]

8. You have given in to hatred, and allowed politics to become

more powerful than those who are close to you. There are civil ways to handle such differences. A time will come when this will be over, but those harsh words will stay in the family forever, hurting after Iraq is only a memory.

You said he is your brother. I assume that your mother is also his mother. You do not have the right to stop her from speaking to her own son, simply because of your political beliefs.

[Mari333]

15. If he speaks about me, he suffers the consequences,

He is my enemy.

[Muddleoftheroad]

20. Seeking help

I recommend that you find a more constructive way to deal with your anger -- volunteerism, counseling (perhaps group counseling), etc. You are the one overreacting here. You might not like what he said to your mother, but he is also entitled to his opinion.

You have a choice, learn to deal with one another or not. If you don't, it might well be you who is cut off from the family, not him.

[Silverhair]

35. And because of you hatred, you too will suffer, and your

mother. Do you have the physical power to stop her from talking to her son? If you do, and if you exercise it, you will hurt your mother. If you do not have that power, then you will just be rather frustrated as he will laugh at you and continue to talk to her, and show her your email.

And your hatred will not convert him to your side. People do change opinions, but it is because someone listened, understood where they were coming from, and helped them move in baby steps.

You talk about murdering you son? How? Is he in the military. If he is, then he joined of his own free will. If he is not in the military, then how are they trying to murder him?

Be rational, not hysterical. No hyperbole please.

[thisday]

90. no hate but no love either

if i was in your shoes i would inform the other party that i
cannot, in good conscience, go on as we have in the past,etc,
in as civil a tone as i could manage.

when we express resentment,it weakens us, due to the guilt
felt when we judge others.when in the throes of feeling guilt,
we give the bleedin' store away.

[tlcandie]

23. Silver it isn't hatred....it is her fear for her son.....

the fear of losing her son...the fear of totally losing her family, country liberties, etc.

I can see where she's coming from and sometimes for our own sanity and protection we feel the need to isolate just like * has isolated the US...us or them.

People have to do what they have to do. Marianne is a very loving person and she's just in a spot right now and this is her safety mechanism kicking in :D

Her mother needs to tell each of them to not speak to her of the other regarding negativity or maybe just politics and set HER boundaries, so she isn't the 'object' of their political falling out.

I'm sure Marianne loves all of her family dearly and doing this doesn't mean any less. It is temporary and with the love I've seen of her within these boards, she will come out of it with tender-loving care, space, and understanding!

Marianne, you are a great fighter and I can't fault you one bit. Lighting a candle for you...heck maybe for all of us who are feeling abused and left behind, isolated, hurt, angry...gosh this could be a LONG list :(

At any rate, my spirit reaches for yours, Marianne, to help keep you within the embrace of love throughout this trial in your life!

:loveya:

[Silverhair]

31. Safey mechanism?

And where does she get off telling another family member not to talk to their own mother? Sounds like a control freak to me. And an inability to deal with it civily. She is lashing out in anger, and as I have posted many times here at DU - Anger causes rash decisions and cripples judgement. And does she think she will win her brother over by her venomous response.

You can disagree with people without being disagreeable, and always leave a door open to reconciliation while still disagreeing.

[put out]

37. Please read what she wrote.

She forbade her brother nothing. She told him not to say nasty things about her and her children to their mother.

I am disagreeing with you. Calling another person a control freak, is well, disagreeable, rash, uncivil, crippling, lashing out in anger, and I simply don't know how such a venomous utterance becomes you. It seems, however, that you get off telling another poster about their inability to be agreeable. As you have posted many times. Do you like these words? They are yours.

Mari333, try to stay well and strong for yourself and your real family. Sometimes anger is justified. Maybe this won't help you, but I try to think of my justified anger not as a volcano, spilling hot stuff everywhere, but cool like a laser.

Didn't work too well this time. But peace to you, you are not alone.

[Eric J in MN]

9. Marianne - what is that photo with your post? (nt)

nt

[Mari333]

11. Photo was from this site

the results of the bombing of Iraq
http://www.einswine.com/atrocities/iraq/?page=1

[Sparkle]

10. That was good!

I'll expect they'll email back stating that you're just sour grapes that Saddam was captured, of course, ignoring everything you wrote.

I applaud you!

[foo_bar]

12. nothing civil about it

If you are a Republican, You are my enemy. Its that simple.

Either you're with us or you're with the terrorists.

from this point on all Republicans and people like you are not allowed to speak to me or my family.

It sounds like your problems have nothing to do with politics.

[Mari333]

16. Republicans want to murder my stepson and tried to murder my son

ergo, they are the enemy. Its as simple as that.

[janx]

21. Mari, that's what the wingnutters want to happen.

Love your family all the same. This will disable the wingnutters.

[Individualist]

17. Mari

Your brother was way out of line when he went behind your back and made those comments to your mother. Your response to him was appropriate.

[Silverhair]

33. Excuse me, but when did Mari become a censor of what a son

can or can not say to his own mother?

[Cheswick2.0]

41. excuse me but it seems Mari's brother declared the battle

if you go read the original post you will see what I mean. I would imagine that he has been saying stupid republican shit for years and this is the last straw.
mari can't control what he says to his mother, but if he is making snotty remarks about her, she has a right to respond anyway she sees fit.
He can say what he wants but she can't?

[Silverhair]

53. She also has the right to say what she wants, but that does mean

that her chosen course of action is wise. To allow her hatered of Bush to be taken out on a family member will only hurt herself and her family. Hatred is a poison, and she has drunk too deeply from that cup. The day will come when Bush will no longer be President, but her brother will always be her brother.

There are ways to handle such things that don't leave the great hurts that disowning family does.

Anger and hatred are strong emotions that cloud judgement for the worse. This has been an example of that.

My own family is mixed Democrat and Republican, and we talk politics too, and nobody is disowning anybody. I will admit that none of my immediate family are in service now. I would have to go to the level of first cousins twice removed (That means the grandchild of a first cousin) to find service members.

At the time that a Democratic President sent me to Vietnam, all of our family were Democrats with WWII members, (Dad was in the Army in WWII and almost worshipped FDR.)so Mom stood by bravely when I left and prayed for my return. The family did as they had done in WWII, and emotionally supported each other. I had cousins that also went to Nam, and the support was mutual.

Never turn your back on your own family. Never cut off communication. We have an adult child that has bi-polar disorder. (Our diagnoses. It runs on my wife's side. Our son hasn't and won't seek treatment. A daughter also has it but gets treatment that helps a lot.) He imagines that we and his siblings have somehow wronged him and has cut off contact with us. We don't even know where he is. That kind of pain, over mere politics, just isn't worth it.

Mari will hurt herself and her family with such hatred. I join with those that recommend that she get professional counseling.

[Individualist]

64. Excuse me

When her brother goes behind Mari's back and criticizes her to his mother, he deserves the response he got from Mari. We choose our friends, but unfortunately many of us are stuck with obnoxious family members (I state this from experience). Mean spirited people deserve confrontation - not meekness.

[Silverhair]

66. Civility is not meekness, it is strength. Pitching a fit is weakness. n/t

[Individualist]

83. See post #78

I wholeheartedly agree with diamondsoul. Mari is going through an extremely difficult time. If you can't be supportive of her, at least put a lid on the criticism! She has every right to feel the way she does.

[SpaceCatMeetsMars]

67. Yes, sometimes with the more obnoxious family members,

it is better to draw a line and explain where they stand with you or they will keep up the behavior. There are, unfortunately, some people who are so controlling and manipulative that they will only respect you if you take a firm line with them. It's sad and difficult, but that's how it is.

I have relatives who are Republicans that you can civilly discuss politics with and ones that you can get along with famously and just not discuss it. But there are a couple that have taken the line that all that disagree with them are sinners and you can't do anything about fanatics like that.

Maybe Mari's brother is an extremist type like that.

Mari, try not to let them get to you. I know how hard it is, believe me. Try to see that their tough act comes from underlying weakness and fear.

I hope your stepson comes home soon.

[calimary]

91. I have an obnoxious brother-in-law. One time too many he had to

be confronted. He kept spewing about my husband - and an old issue that my husband found so incredibly difficult (abuse by another family member that his parents remained resolutely in denial about) he's still struggling with it. And at that one family dinner, this putz just kept yammering away, PAST the time when my husband reached his couldn't-take-it-anymore point and left the house. And the putz kept spewing. First, I asked quietly if we could talk about something else. Things quieted down for about a minute and a half, and then sure enough, the putz started spewing again. Then, I said more forcefully - can we talk about something else!?!? And things quieted down again for another minute and a half. Then the putz started spewing again, and this time his wife (Mrs. Putz) joined in - WHILE THEIR KIDS WERE SITTING THERE LISTENING, and my parents-in-law were sitting there silently THROUGHOUT. So then, I yelled -- "SHUT UP, (first name here)!" Putz got up and walked out, and his snippy little mrs. and their kids did likewise.

Yes, there was a price to pay. I never saw Putz and his wife and kids again, for years, except for one family dinner shortly before my father-in-law's death, and again at the funeral. When I DID see him, he was rather quiet and kept his distance from me. They all did. But DAMMIT, NOBODY was gonna dump on my husband like that, and kick him when he was down, and have NOBODY stick up for him. I did. I'm not a bit sorry I did. I'd do it again in a heart-beat. Frankly, I think putz should have had people telling him to shut up, starting many years earlier (from everything I know about his life, as the family "golden boy," that RARELY happened, if at all). Maybe he wouldn't be such an arrogant, petty, poor excuse for a human being. But it does seem from his behavior that he got the message, and that he knows better than to run off his mouth so insensitively - at least when I'm around.

I am sorry for what happened with Mari and her brother. Sounds like her brother is a lot like my brother-in-law. She stood her ground, as SOMEBODY had to. And as a Dem who's chafing under so much spinelessness out there among my purported representatives (except for Henry Waxman and Barbara Boxer, that is), I think that's our problem these days - that few of us have stood our ground enough!

[Patriot_Spear]

70. If my sister did that to me I'd blast her too.

Putting your folks in the middle of a dispute between siblings is a pretty chickenshit thing to do.

[Cascadian]

19. The more and longer we become divided....

my biggest fear is that there could be violence in this country at some point. I hope I am wrong. I really do. I will tell you this, once we on the left do push, the more the right-wingers will push back and it could get rough. Believe me. Don't expect it to be a picnic.

John

[Blade]

22. If I had a republican family member...

I wouldn't want nothing to do with him/her/them anymore either. Also, since the last year, I made it my personal goal to not have one republican friend. I hate every single one of those fucktards.

[Cascadian]

24. My Dad is a Republican.

He is one of those "pull yourself by your own bootstraps" sort of people. I haven't spoken to him in three years. I could never speak politics with him otherwise we would be shouting at each other. There were other reasons why we don't talk but those are personal.


John

[tlcandie]

25. Blade, you are missing Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo!!!!

Isolation isn't good. We need balance. I hope you reconsider. We all need the negatives along with the positives in our lives...just hopefully the positivies far outweigh the negatives the majority of the time!!

You can't know good w/o bad, up w/o down, love w/o hate, etc. They go hand in hand and to shut yourself off from one or the other makes you the target of many nasty things due to imbalance.

But, know this, if that IS your choice then that is your choice and I accept you either way!

:hi:

[Blade]

30. Howwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwdy Hooooooooooooooooooo!

:hi:

[Gemini Cat]

27. Good for you!

It's past time to take the white party gloves off when dealing with people like that. It may be nice to be nice and all, but where has our collective nice behaviour gotten us?

Mari333, I'm with you 100% and I wish your step-son all the best.


:dem:

[JVS]

47. Cut him off for good now!

Threats are lame. Take swift decisive action.

[ErasureAcer]

48. powerful picture...great speech

good job.

[Hogarth]

51. A really powerful picture ...

... is one of Mari kneeling in the Church of Kells, Ireland, lighting a votive candle for her mother's sake. I wish I could figure out how to post it..

[Tinoire]

49. Hey Mari - Peace to you - If your brother calls or writes to you again

Just reinforce that if anything happens to your son you hold him and other twits like him personally responsible and that there can be no healing until your BOTH your son and step-son are safely home, permanently, and in sound physical and mental health. Not one today and the other tomorrow but BOTH at the same time.

Screw him until he gets a clue. You don't need your life polluted with that type, brother or not. Not until he reasons like a decent human being.

I'd tell him to think of your step-son, all the other young kids over there, and the Iraqi children there everytime he fills up his gas tank.

Your graphics were an excellent touch. Normally I believe that blood is thicker than water and am blessed enough that my blood family shares my values but our country is now in a war between good and evil. Like you, I have no time for those enabling evil and do not want them anywhere near my circle- no matter how close I was to them before so old child-hood friends, old boy-friends with whom I have no other quarrel and whose company I would really love right now, are all OUT. Cut off as you have done.

Peace and courage! We are here for you! I am amazed you have the strength to do this and take my hat off to you. It says a lot about your moral integrity though I would still admire you even if you didn't tell him off. These are such difficult circumstances but as long as you have the moral conviction of your actions, I have no fears for you!

Now about your mom... Do what you can to not let this affect her too much because your time with her is precious and too precious to be tainted by fools. You're in my prayers again!

That was a mighty powerful letter and I am sorry, very sorry that you had to write it. Hopefully time will open his eyes, melt his heart and you can all get to the business of healing.

[CWebster]

50. Naughty peace activist!

Your anger is so unseemly. Don't worry, be happy, the evil Saddam, the incarnation of evil made flesh, the scourge of the earth, has been uprooted from his rank hole just as the new Iraqi courts are open for business. Bush, our fearless leader is defending the homeland and the American way against the corrupt heathen hordes and he will rally the adoring masses to our heroic calling. The airwave herald the truimphant tidings--the smirking chimp is on the flag-draped throne. Resistance is futile, life is but a dream. Ignorance is bliss.

The hell with that. May your righteous anger sustain you to the promised land.

[nansocal]

52. that was

great. we must all not take republican **it anymore.great going.

[catmandu57]

54. Mari and Hogarth

You know what is coming, I see it as well, this country is being torn apart. I share your hatred of all supporters of this idiot*, this unwilliungness to open their goddamn eyes and see what the hell is happening here.
I've got a dyed in the wool freeper bil, who called his mother yesterday crowing about how they caught Saddam, she hung up on him. I'm expected to go with my wife to her family for christmas, I don't want to.
I'm afraid this ignorant fuck is going to spout off and I'll totally lose it, you can't reason with these idiots, you can bring out fact after fact, build a case against this thief* and all his corporate henchmen who have bled this country and instead of uniting has divided us as deeper than I thought possible.
I've got family members whom I've cutoff, one religiously insane, if I can walk away from idiots in my blood family, then it'll be a whole hell of a lot easier to tell these people where to get off.
I think that in the next couple of weeks we'll see that this make believe capture has nothing to do with stopping the killing, looting, and raping of a sovereign country.
Also, though, and sad as it is people like your brother, my b.i.l. will not see it as we do, and will only get nastier when the wool is forced from their eyes.
I wish you all the best, and share your concern for your family, may you be protected through until better days return.

[HoosierClarkie]

55. Please remember that anger is a symptom of the real emotion.

What I sense is fear and sadness. IMO your family would respond better to those emotions. I believe they are misinformed to say the least, but you have to ask yourself what your goal is. 1. To educate your family about the war. 2. To educate them about your feelings on the war 3. Give them a piece of your mind. 4. Ask for the kind of support that YOU and your SON needs.

IMO if there is a difference in opinion, your mom should not be telling you things your brother says about you. That is not constructive and you shouldn't be burdened with that. Your son needs your focus not outspoken family members.

[The Backlash Cometh]

57. I walked away in anger from a Republican after lunch yesterday.

We were celebrating a successful soccer tournament and someone brought up the subject of Saddaam's capture. The person wondered why we haven't heard more people talking about it at the tournament. I replied that maybe because on the heels of that news was the news that the attacks on our soldiers weren't going to go away. The Republican spouted out, "I don't believe that. I think things will be better now that he's captured." Then someone else on the table tried to make a comment about the millions of people that Saddaam had killed and that there has to be rejoicing from Iraqis because he's gone. I said that there was a vaccuum in power now, and that we must remember that some of those killings kept the Sunnis from taking power and that if the Sunnis from Iraq and Iran got together, we might have bigger problems that Saddaam -- and oh, by the way, where are the WMD?

Then the guy who mentioned the killings said that EVERYBODY was convinced that Iraq had WMD and that belief was held for the last 10 years. I said, not everybody. Hans Blitz didn't think there was any WMD. Then the Republican said, Clinton should have taken care of the problem when he was in office. And that's when my blood sugar dropped. I replied, "What does Clinton have to do with this? Maybe if you guys hadn't attacked him for something so insignificant thousands of people wouldn't be dead today. The Republican party acted seditiously in the 90s and now we're all suffering because of it. There was nothing Clinton did in his personal life that justified what is happening to us today." And then I got up and left and he yelled something about, "Oh, now you're running away."

But the truth is, if he had any idea the level of anger that's brewing within because Republicans keep trying to override democracy and revise history to make themselves appear to be the dominant force in this country, he would do well to avoid me altogether. I HATE AND DISTRUST REPUBLICANS. They would rather believe a soundbite lie, than to think for themselves.

[YNGW]

58. Fault Lies In The Informant

>My brother called my mom and made snide remarks

There's the problem right there. How'd you find out? Did your Mom tell you what your brother said, and if so, why would she do that? Was she trying to start a fight?

Or did your brother tell you he said that to your Mom? And if so, why would he do that?

Whoever told you that the conversation took place should have kept it to themselves. There was no point in saying anything to you about it. Gossip most often is very hurtful, and there's no reason for it.

[Chants]

63. Seems like a deeper problem

First of all, I am very sorry that some members of your family are sending you such nasty hate mail. Second, perhaps these political tiffs are symptoms of a deeper problem.

[Patriot_Spear]

68. Amen.

Nothing to add.

[Cooley Hurd]

71. My brother is a republican...

...and, when speaking to me on the phone yesterday, he said, "now that they caught Saddam, the war will wind down to a quick conclusion." I, of course, told him that two insurgent attacks happened AFTER Saddam's capture and that, as the following weeks and months will show, they will most likely increase. I also reminded him on how RIGHT I've been all along about the Iraq war (about the lies leading up to war, about the unpreparedness of our troops in securing Iraq, about Halliburton's price gouging, etc...). His response: no response. I think he trusts my judgement on this, now...

[Frances]

72. Families are complicated

When my white daughter dated an African American man, I knew that my family might cut ties with her if they found out. I told my daughter that if I had to choose between her and my family, I would choose her.

It seems to me that Marianne feels the same way about her stepson.

It sounds to me that Marianne is doing the best she can at a very difficult time.

"Judge not, lest you be judged."

[Mari333]

77. The Blood of 500 soldiers and thousands of Iraqi civilians

is on the hands of every republican and anyone who supports this illegal war.
If my stepson dies in this war, they are responsible.
I choose to never have anything to do with biological family members who choose my stepson or my sons possible death over this war. Republicans are my enemy. If my biological family are republicans, they are my enemy.
All and any Democrats who want to be pansy asses about it can go join Tom Delay or Liebermans camp.

[diamondsoul]

79. *shaking my head* Mari,

some people here seem to think they have the right to question your outrage and your sanity because of it. I'm not among them, however I thnk there is a valid point they're trying to make-

That is the entire group labelled Republicans don't ALL support the war. Try to keep that in mind, ok?

[Patriot_Spear]

81. C'mon, you're not being fair...

The hallmark of being a republican is being lockstep with the position put out by their party bosses and descenting republicans are rarely tolerated within thewir ranks.

This war is a republican run show- for good or ill this is their war.

Silence is complicity.

[foo_bar]

85. mindless rage is complicity

it demonstrates that:

1) Freepers have the right idea, rhetorically speaking.
2) "With us or against us" is a view shared by "liberals".
3) Hating millions of people you've never met is a-ok.

It's doubly ironic from someone who invokes Gandhi (spelled incorrectly) in their signature.

[AnnabelLee]

82. Keep on keepin' on

And doing what you have to do. I am in a similar situation with some family members...try as I might, I don't understand why having the same mitochondrial DNA as these people (or being related to them through marriage) obligates me to make nice with smirk-loving fascist enablers who rarely miss an opportunity to shove their misinformed, racist, homophobic, xenophobic, bloodthirsty, religiously insane, gloating opinions in my face.

Stay strong, Mari.:hug: