Another thread on appropriate/inappropriate speech in the workplace

[lapislzi]

Yes, it's me again, trying to hammer out an acceptable ethical position for speaking one's mind in the workplace. These are serious (and real) questions, and I would appreciate DU's feedback.

I work for a small company. I'm a department manager. 2 scenarios...what to do?

Scenario # 1
We have a Ms. Uptight (entry-level) who's bothered by just about everything. I have a large vocabulary and I enjoy using it. One day I used the word "didactic" in a conversation with another employee (the conversation was not political). Ms Uptight jumped in with, "I wish you wouldn't use such big words. It makes me uncomfortable." This is the 2nd or 3rd time she's picked me out for my vocabulary. The first two times I blew her off, thinking she couldn't possibly be serious...

Am I really, truly, supposed to censor ordinary speech in the interest of not making this woman uncomfortable? And even if I were to buy into this absurdist notion, how am I supposed to know beforehand if a word I use is going to bother her? How much can one reasonably be expected to extend oneself to accommodate the sensitivities of other employees?

Scenario #2
I stepped into a colleague's (also a department manager) office to ask a work-related question. She is conversing, obviously socially, with her assistant and the CEO. They are laughing uproariously over her story of encountering an unclothed, obese, African-American woman in the locker room of her gym. They (all three of them are thin as rails) are making fun of the woman, and making no effort to hide this fact. I am overweight, as are about a quarter of the people who work here. We have a couple of African-American employees who may or may have not been in earshot. I am offended, especially by the overt racism, but say nothing and leave. I think the CEO should know better, and set a better example. What to do now? This was a week ago and it still irks me.

In fact, the company has a subtle policy of discriminating against overweight people...amazing that the fat people somehow don't get promoted (I was smart...I put on the weight after I got promoted to manager!) Does anyone else experience this type of bias in the workplace?

My problem, really, is that I'm a socialist, and socialists really don't make good managers. But that is another thread for another day.

[Rainbowreflect]

1. Here are my thoughts on this.

Scenario # 1,
You do not have to change the words you use because they are "too big" for this idiot to understand.

Scenario # 2,
You should let these people know that what they said was wrong and unprofessional. Do it anonymously if that would make you feel safer.

[sangh0]

2. My take

1) Ask her why certain words bother her. Kill her with kindness. Ask her if she can avoid a list of words you shouldn't use. Ask for criteria to use. Maybe you should eliminate all three syllable words, like "excellent" and "wonderful". Make her tell you that certain words make her feel like a two syllable word - "stupid"

2) If you do anything about that, you should first consult a lawyer. If you don't actually have a case, you are at risk in reporting it. Furthermore, if you do report it, do it officially. An oral complaint to the very people who discriminated (or the people who work for them) isn't worth the paper it's written on.

[rucky]

3. As for Ms. Uptight...

Give her a dictionary for Christmas. I know it's a bit didactic, but...

As for the upper management... maybe a confidentially-sent brochure about obesity as a medical condition, and a copy of the Americans With Disabilities Act would scare them a bit. Kind of an idle threat, but most bosses crap their pants about stuff like that.

[lapislzi]

5. I think they would be mortified if they realized

...how biased they are. The owners are thin, rich, and beautiful, and they like to have other pretty people around them. On the other hand, their politics are liberal (or pseudo-liberal, as the case may be--of the "some of my best friends" variety), and I'm sure they don't even realize what they're doing.

How do you complain that ugly people are being discriminated against? Talk about a slippery slope!

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

4. Dumb people are bad employees. FIRE HER.

Provided you have the authority, of course.

[lapislzi]

6. You can't fire somebody *just* for being stupid

Her work is satisfactory. She has done nothing wrong. Stupidity is annoying, but it's not a crime yet. Hell, in these times, with the chimp in the WH, it's positively a sacrament.