Headlines from the year 2029:

[BigBearJohn]

Headlines from the year 2029:

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.



Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.



Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.



Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.



Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).



Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.


France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.



Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.



George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.



Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.



85-years, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.



Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.



Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.



Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.



Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.



New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.



Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.



IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.



Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines

[Warpy]

1. Is that supposed to be funny?

Just asking.

[movonne]

5. I agree, not funny...

[Name removed]

2. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[BlueStater]

3. Since Castro was born in 1926...

...he'd only be 103 in 2029.

[meganmonkey]

4. That's hilarious

thanks for the friday smile :)

[DFWdem]

6. Funny stuff n/t

[Xenotime]

7. One day...

Most of that will be true.

Esp. "Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights."

[mattclearing]

9. You can't be serious. n/t

[mattclearing]

8. Did someone find this over at that other forum?

Sounds like some right-wing bullshit to me.