"U.S. women seek a second first time with hymen surgery"

[Inland]

I first thought this was for those cultures putting a heavy emphasis on female viginity at marriage, but then the opening paragraphs:
***********
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/05349/622923.stm
Thursday, December 15, 2005

By Amy Chozick, The Wall Street Journal

For her 17th wedding anniversary, Jeanette Yarborough wanted to do something special for her husband. In addition to planning a hotel getaway for the weekend, Ms. Yarborough paid a surgeon $5,000 to reattach her hymen, making her appear to be a virgin again.

"It's the ultimate gift for the man who has everything," says Ms. Yarborough, 40 years old, a medical assistant from San Antonio.

Hymenoplasty, a controversial medical procedure known mostly for its prevalence in the Middle East and Latin America, is becoming popular in the U.S.
*********

Okay, if my wife spent five grand on surgery that might give her complications "down there" in order to have painful sex, I'd think seriously of getting her mental help. If she wants to pretend to be a virgin, there are better ways. Playing Baron Von Rodd and the Innocent Milkmaid, for example.

But the traditional societies have a different look at the practice: it's a form of consumer fraud, to which the modern women says, all's fair in love and marriage:

****
"What people forget is that Islam teaches us to be honest and fair," Ms. Mazhar says. "A family should think about this before they present a woman as a virgin when she's not."

Ridgewood's Ms. Vanegas concedes her business is based on deception. But she says hymen repair is no different than other cosmetic procedures -- from waxing to Botox injections -- that women use to impress men.

[stevedeshazer]

1. Insanity

I'm with you.

And I want my foreskin back.

[Lochloosa]

95. I don't....n/t

[SteppingRazor]

2. I personally think the practice is kinda dumb...

But whatever you want to do with your body is your own business. :shrug:

[donheld]

113. "Like A Virgin"

Touched for the very first time... :crazy:

[GreenPartyVoter]

3. Erm.. I had an episiotomy that was stiched up too tight. That was NOT fun

This is just another stupid run at making older women feel less valuable than younger ones.

[motocicleta]

38. Something our culture specializes in

Too bad you can't bring it up anymore, or the idiots think you're a "feminazi". Makes me just want to take care of my own and let the sheeple go to hell. Once I figure that out, no one will ever hear from me again.

Y'know, the RWers are right that our culture is going to hell. They just have the cause and effect all screwed up.

[GreenPartyVoter]

41. Welcome to DU *wave*

[motocicleta]

54. Thanks GPV

Just thinking about the world my little daughter is gonna grow up into gets me all pissed.

[bigwillq]

97. Welcome to DU!

:hi:

[cry baby]

4. ferchristsakes! nt

[stop the bleeding]

5. If she wants to please her hubby she try Kegel exercises

sorry if I misspelled Kegel

[Inland]

7. a constructive suggestion! nt

[stop the bleeding]

10. My lady does those and IT WORKS!

[Warpy]

19. Every woman at every age needs to do Kegel exercises

because they'll also prevent stress incontinence after menopause, as well as give one's lover a great experience in younger life.

Thanks for mentioning them.

[Dora]

100. It's important for men to do these too.

Or so my husband tells me.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander, I say.

[TahitiNut]

20. Absolutely.

It's even more of a 'gift' to herself ... or at least so I'm told by gals for whom I've had a great deal of respect.

[lukasahero]

22. Which of course begs the question

what is it that she thinks pleases him about this? If there are other ways to address the physical aspects then it's not physical, it's mental. Which means that she thinks he'd rather have a "tight", young virgin. One has to wonder where a woman might get that idea. (Cough.)

[stop the bleeding]

36. Too much Oprah if you ask me

[LostinVA]

99. Oprah would never condone something like this...

[JVS]

6. Between this and the Chinese company that hires people to play videogames

for Westerners who don't have time to play the games themselves, I am rapidly arriving to the conclusion that society is too sick to survive.

[Inland]

8. Did you hear that on NPR? I actually sympathized.

Who has time to reach level five?

[JVS]

16. Who the fuck needs to reach level 5?

I heard about it from my brother.

[Inland]

82. Why, everybody!

In games, you keep repeating the same scenario until you succeed. In NPR, for example, there may be a virtual town where all your friends' avatar have gotten into but you lack the game credits earned from successfully performing tasks. Anyway, for those that want to see the next scenario without the work, they are buying with real money the credits earned in the game from people willing to trade.

[Idioteque]

87. Are you talking about WoW gold farmers? n/t

[JVS]

90. yeah

[progressivebydesign]

112. JVS.. that story and this hymen one drew me to the same conclusion.

I had the same take on both of those. The world has gone mad.

[ewagner]

9. BARON VON RODD

..and the Innocent Milkmaid!!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[demigoddess]

11. eew, ick, yuck,

as a woman I think this is insanity and bowing down to the patriarchal in the nth degree. Get a clue,
:puke: :puke: :puke:

[blm]

12. Sure, for the man who's NOT a man and in serious arrested development.

Men who are uncomfortable with real sex and prefer virgins are SICK FUCKS.

It's a diagnosable mental illness.

Elvis Presley couldn't have sex with Priscilla after she had a baby because of that illness.

[Qanisqineq]

31. god, I knew a man that must have it

He wanted me to "pretend you're a virgin, pretend it hurts." UGH! I told him where to shove it.

:puke:

[Warpy]

13. Yeah, let me reattach some usless flesh

that will give me an intensely painful session of intercourse so my husband can get some sick jollies. What does that say about her HUSBAND??

Cripes, this is sick.

[Bucky]

18. "reattach useless fIesh" is what SCOTUS said when they installed Bush

[Inland]

23. They don't quote any husbands directly. Not sure they have signed on.

The two married women mentioned in the article, one says her husband wants it, one doesn't say anything about the husband at all.

In any event.....not getting it. How much pretense can one make to virginity after 17 years of marriage? One would hope NOT MUCH.

[Bucky]

14. To please his wife, perhaps the man could pretend to be a virgin too!

You know, get drunk before hand, sweat too much, ask a lot of dumb questions, maul her ineffectively, pretend not to know where the G spot is, apologize throughout the entire experience, and then finish up too soon. It would be a magic night for all.

[motocicleta]

26. Who told you? I thought nobody knew about tha...

Oh wait, is this thing on?

[Inland]

28. LOL! No surgery needed! nt

[Dulcinea]

34. You made my day!!

:rofl:

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[JAbuchan08]

42. Hey!

I'm no virgin, and I resent the implication.

[stickdog]

15. Comfrey baths are cheaper and have far fewer complications.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comfrey

In past times comfrey baths were popular to repair the hymen and thus 'restore virginity'.

[Captain Hilts]

17. Sick. nt

[rd_kent]

21. Maybe it was really for her pleasure!

Mybe her husband has a teenie tiny penis and now she will actually feel something.

Just a thought!

[RazzleDazzle]

91. Yeah, and that's another thing

I see entirely too few women actually speak the truth: size DOES matter.

Of course, size isn't everything and can, indeed, be compensated for in other ways. But saying "size doesn't matter" is a pathetic lie intended to do nothing but assuage the all-encompassing, ever fragile male ego. Too few women not speaking the truth on this means too many women believing it (or trying to convince themselves) and wondering, "what's wrong with ME?"

And of course, that's just ONE reason women were expected to be virgins when they got married -- so they couldn't tell when they got mixed up with (for LIFE!!!) a lousy lover and/or an example on the wrong side of the "size really DOES matter" truth.

[rd_kent]

103. HAHAHA! Nice!!!!

[BrotherBuzz]

24. Born again Christian women get this for free, but...

they still have to pay about $5,000 to have the second belly-button removed, or so I understand.

[NewWaveChick1981]

68. OMFG, I laughed so hard I nearly puked...

...when I read this!!!!! :rofl: I always wondered if they got a second belly button when they were born again!!!!!!!!!

[Dogmudgeon]

25. I need to have my meds adjusted

I thought I just read that women are having hymenoplasties for a kind of a second chance at losing their virginity.

It must be an hallucination. Things like that don't happen in the real world.

That's it. It must be.

--p!

[Danieljay]

27. Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!

[Mandate My Ass]

29. And I thought women who wanted labiaplasties were sick

:puke:

[mongo]

77. I don't condone this hymen reattachment surgery

But many women have such large outer labia that it gets caught up in their underwear, is uncomfortable, etc. Labiaplasty for purely cosmetic reasons should be discouraged IMO, but there are many women who benefit from the procedure.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

30. Is he going to get a foreskin transplant to match her? OUCH!!

Vanity knows no boundaries.

[Dulcinea]

32. WTF?

:wtf:

[noonwitch]

33. Baron von Rodd and Innocent Milkmaid? You have a good imagination

Too funny.

I would imagine that in some groups, like muslims, who value the presence of a hymen over a woman's personal qualities, this would be a popular surgery for some women. I'd rather spend the money getting my boobs lifted.

[SmokingJacket]

35. What kind of doctor would do this?

Oy vey.

[Inland]

39. Heres' some comment from doctors:

The ethics committee of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, concerned about the marketing of revirgination, sent a letter to several cosmetic gynecologists in June 2004 voicing its unease. The college, which hasn't taken a formal position on the matter, said it worried that doctors may not be able to fully inform their patients about the procedure because it doesn't appear in the medical literature.

Thomas G. Stovall, a recent president of the Society of Gynecologic Surgeons, a top professional body, says "hymen repair is a totally bogus procedure." In general, he says, surgery marketed to improve one's sex life rarely works. As for hymen replacement, "most importantly, it doesn't make you a virgin again."

[BlueIris]

52. You don't want to know.

That aspect of this issue alone--the opportunistic medical "professionals" I've heard promote their ability to provide this service to patients horrify me.

Seriously? I know people in this thread aren't trying to be judgmental, hurt anyone's feelings or express anything nasty or predjudicial, but...it's making me cry. Some women apparently want this surgery to replace something they feel was taken away if they "lost their virginity" as the result of rape or other non-consensual violations. It's an empowering thing for them. It's not just a "vanity" surgery for all the people who want it, nor is it always about the over-emphasis placed on virginity in society, which--well, as someone who used to get rejected all the time for admitting to being not sexually active, I think it's a damned-if-you-are-damned-if-you-aren't kind of thing right now, especially for women. Nobody I ever dated would have placed an over-emphasis on virginity, so I don't know who the women having this done are even trying to date/marry in the first place. I personally can't understand wanting anything like that done to me, and the idea that women who are NSA are somehow more inherently desirable than those who aren't is--horrifying. No conclusions here, I'm afraid, I just wish contributors to this thread were being a little more sensitive.

[ohio_liberal]

57. Good post

Sometimes it's not all about vanity. :thumbsup:

[Inland]

62. but the american women in the article think it's the husbands who've lost

something, not them.

Unlike traditional societies where there's huge pressure to deliver a virgin at marriage, the concept of a married woman having surgery to physically resemble a virgin to her husband of seventeen years is the height of vanity, either hers or her husband's, whoever had this cockamamie idea. They are having surgery to deliver an ersatz physical experience of virginity.

The people in traditional societies that have been using this surgery for purposes of trying to conform to societal pressures are in an entirely different boat. I left them out.

[BlueIris]

67. Yeah, I read the article. My post was mostly a plea for less

nastiness and judgmental posting. Also for posters to consider other perspectives with regard to a subject I expected would be treated with a little more decorum on this site. Silly me.

[mongo]

78. Thanks for your input

I think you made a good point.

It's easy to judge other people when you haven't walked in their shoes.

[SmokingJacket]

81. I think I see what you're getting at.

It's a bizarre time to be an American woman, for a lot of us, anyway.

[lectrobyte]

84. Thanks much, I had not considered that perspective.

[RazzleDazzle]

93. There is no shortage of misogynist MDs out there

Most of them, tho by no means all, are ob-gyn's.

[Double T]

37. Now Americans have figured out a way for a man to have 20 'virgins'.....

BEFORE he dies and goes to paradise. Recycled virgins, what a great idea!!!!!

[Inland]

48. You mean, the same virgin, twenty times over. nt

[Double T]

56. One recycled virgin, twenty times or ten recycled virgins, two times......

the combinations and possibilities are endless. What a great country. I'm going to stop complaining.

[Qanisqineq]

40. Augh!

This just pisses me off and makes me want to puke. What is up with some fucking people (more so the men in these cases)? It just makes my skin crawl.

[DaveColorado]

44. Whew

I'm glad my parents left my foreskin intact.

I agree this is sheer madness, and doesn't say much about the human species as a whole. LOL

[Danieljay]

43. Totally Cool! I think I'll sew myself back up into a Placenta

So I can be a fetus again. Then I can REALLY be "BORN AGAIN"! The Evangelical Christians will LOVE it! Imagine the possibilities!

[Qanisqineq]

49. ha!

:rofl:

"born again" -- I like it. In a thread that makes me physically ill, you cracked me up.

[WindRavenX]

50. LOL

:rofl:

[incapsulated]

58. rofl!

You made me choke on my tea! :D

[soothsayer]

45. straight women are so stupid. us lesbians would never want you

to 'gift' us with this. or squander $5000!!

[Danieljay]

47. ummm "some" straight women. n/t

[soothsayer]

53. Point well taken! A small minority, one hopes. just bugs me to

see straight women who will do 'anything' to please a man. Disgusting.

I like straight women! Love 'em! Heck, I've even dated 'em!

[Inland]

55. But don't lesbians have a fantasy re giving that first lesbian lesson

Oh, wait, never mind, that's a fantasy of straight males again, goddammit. My bad.

[RumpusCat]

79. Well, see, ya don't need surgery to play this one out!

That's totally what 'Innocent gal in tough womens' prison' games are for!

[Solly Mack]

46. fucking doormats

[Nimrod2005]

51. Whatever....

:freak:

[tocqueville]

59. the Holy Prepuce have several claimants

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_Prepuce

but there is no relic from Mary's hymen. I guess the Holy Ghost knows the whole story....

[vixengrl]

60. Un-damn-believable.

Why, I've had a first-husband-ectomy, myself, and I've used all manner of skin creams and exercises, but that's no commitment--why, what'll they think of next? A surgery to make a woman eighteen again? Or sixteen? Undo ten, twelve, twenty-something years worth of loves and hates? And it's easy to sell something this odd to women--not a one of us knows what a virgin girl should *feel* like.

A woman's parts are still as old as she is, surgery or no, heaven help us all. The hang-up isn't *tight*, it's *experienced*, and you just can't "unexperience" yourself, can you?

(Hard to think of a way to respond to this, truly, that wouldn't be deleted or lock the thread, for sure.)

[incapsulated]

61. What next, burkas and female circumcision?

"Look, honey, I had my clit removed so you never have to worry about your performance again!"

This culture is going insane.

[John Q. Citizen]

63. Just out of curiosity, Why is this weirder than punching a hole

in your skin and inserting a metal rod or ring through it?

I came to the conclusion long ago that people are crazy. Here and abroad.

As a friend of mine used to say, "Everybody is somebody's wierdo."

[Inland]

65. Well......it depends on where the hole is placed. Nuff said. nt

[KamaAina]

86. I thought it would have been for those "Second Chance" programs

that fundies have, that make even less sense than the "ex-gay" ministries.

What's next? Disposable artificial ones in packs of ten?

Excuse me while I :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke:

[Crunchy Frog]

94. They already have those.

http://www.zonaeuropa.com/20051012_1.htm

[AgadorSparticus]

64. someone needs to find a hobby besides playing doormat. this is

what happens when people have too much time and money on their hands. What sad, empty lives to resort to entertaining such desperate ploys.

:scared: :scared: :scared:

[Inland]

66. I just think of all the good that can be done to a marriage with $5k

All the romantic trips and dinners. You'd have to be pretty rich to get to the point of hymenerology.

[AgadorSparticus]

80. no kidding. well, it just proves yet again that money can't buy happiness.

...or self esteem. But you know, it doesn't sound to me like that marriage would benefit from romantic trips and dinners. I think it would be better suited if it was spent on couple counseling.

[AzDar]

69. What the DEUCE?? How would this please her husband? It doesn't

make the 'ginie any tighter, just a painful initial ripping and then you're back where you started.
Like my husband said about the whole (pun entirely intended) Jessica Simpson/Nick Lachey meltdown..."That's what the idiot gets for marrying a VIRGIN".

[LisaL]

73. Maybe she got two for one deal? There is a surgery to

make it tighter as well as hymen repair.

[Missy Vixen]

70. I don't get it

:blush: :blush:

Julie

[Generic Other]

71. Reminds me of Isak Dinesen's "The White Sheet"

A story about the collection of wedding sheets of some noble family kept in a castle in Denmark.

One white sheet. And to Dinesen, this was the sheet with the story!

Good god. A 40 year old virgin constitutes the ultimate gift for a man? Sad. Will they learn to fly planes into buildings to get one? Apparently. That woman needs to be buckled up in a burkha straightjacket.

[d_b]

72. .....

[LisaL]

74. Pretty silly, if you ask me. Her husband knows she is not a virgin.

Talk about 5 grand wasted-and it's all going to be gone in a second, when she and her husband will have sex anyway.
Kind of stupid to spend that kind of money on something that is not even going to last.

[semillama]

75. Virginity is tied to an event, not to a physical state

once you have sex, it's over. never mind your hymen. I have an ex-girlfriend whose hymen didn't break until well after she lost her virginity (it broke after we broke up, and believe me, we were NOT CELIBATE).

I can think of many things $5,000 could be better spent on - how about an AIDS charity for starters?

[area51]

76. amazing. ugh. (n/t)

[ultraist]

83. I think those couples would be better off...

investing in a penal implant. They'll get more bang for their f--- I mean, buck.

[SoCalDem]

85. G-R-O-S-S

these women have too much money and too much vanity..

[Raine]

88. That's IDIOTIC & SICK

somebody who definitely or has more money than brains. :silly: :thumbsdown:

[ikojo]

89. This is sick. If they have so much money

and they don't know what to do with it, I will send her my address and she can write a check out to me.

[Cleita]

92. When I was in college, a girlfriend of mine

was told by a priest to have one after she confessed that she had lost her virginity. It was the first time I had ever heard of this. Even then it struck me as not only bizarre but fraudulent.

[NaturalHigh]

96. This is pretty nutty.

However, the "Baron von Rodd and the innocent milkmaid" idea has promise.

[LostinVA]

98. That woman is INSANE

I think what royalty used to do is the way to go: be "deflowered" in the doctor's office so you won't remember your first time as painful. Quick and unsatisfactory, yes, but not painful.

[HughBeaumont]

101. That's just WEIRD.

I've deflowered two women in my life . . . each time I felt like a criminal. I mean, how the hell do you stay . . . aroused . . . knowing you're about to tear into her hymen? All the while, I'm like "Please stop me if this hurts you in any way", both of us SO uncomfortable, her obviously more so . . . and then when it happens, you have her grimace etched into your face and it pretty much stops right there. At this point, you're feeling terrible and also, subconsciously, some of the pain she's feeling.

Yeah, that's an experience I'D want to re-create!

[Straight Shooter]

102. After the pain subsides, Yarborough begins humping like a Slinky on speed.

She's going to pop that virgin fantasy bubble once she starts displaying everything she's learned. :eyes:

[uppityperson]

104. Tore mine with a tampon, here's a peeled blister

shit, I was never a virgin. Waaaaaa, think I'll go burn myself now. Wait, I'll go get that tiny tab of flesh reattached! Sitz baths for a month, having to pee in the tub so it doesn't burn to badly. Thanks honey. How about I peel the blister off my heel and give it to you, tell you it's my dried hymen for you to put in a lockette and wear around your neck?

I wonder if she shows it off at office parties?

[WritingIsMyReligion]

105. ...

:wtf:

This is just dumb. DUMB. Dumb.

[madrchsod]

106. this makes my head hurt

there`s really no where to begin on how wrong this is

[musette_sf]

107. any man who thinks this is a good idea,

not to mention any man who thinks he needs to marry a virgin, is sick sick sick.

[slackmaster]

108. She should just take a cruise to the Virgin Islands for recycling

[jmowreader]

109. My wife claims virginity is highly overrated anyway

If I were to spend $5000 to make my wife feel like a "new woman," I believe she'd kill me if I suggested having her hymen sewn back in. (She called from work and I told her about this thread. Her response: "Owwwww!!! I don't WANT to feel that pain again!")

She'd much rather spend $2500 on purses, $1500 on new clothes, shoes, jewelry and makeup, and the other thousand on yarn.

And then I'd get raped for about three days straight, and all would be well with the world.

[jmowreader]

110. I can think of one possible justification for this

Rape victims.

I believe that every woman should have the opportunity to lose her hymen on her own terms. Rape victims don't get that.

I don't know...maybe a nice quick hymenoplasty would be a good mental therapeutic for women whose "first time" was with a rapist.

OTOH...I'm predicting a surge in demand for this among wealthy fundies whose daughters had sex before marriage now that they know it's available. Mom finds out Tiffani had sex on her date last night and marches Tiffani right down to have that "ugly stain" removed from the family name. And then she grounds Tiffani for life.

[progressivebydesign]

111. For the first time on DU.. I am speechless. WTF is wrong with them?

This is utter fucking insanity. The world has gone mad. :crazy:

Sounds like the husbands are a bunch of freaks.. any other woman out there want to have your aging husband have the thrill of doing a virgin??? gross.