Hold the Limo: The Prom's Canceled as Decadent

[ShockediSay]

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/12/10/nyregion/10prom.html

Prom night, that all-American rite of passage that fell out of favor during the anti-establishment 1960's and then made a comeback in the conservative tilt of the Reagan era, probably always inhabited terrain destined to become a battleground in the so-called culture wars.

It is about social manners, class, gender roles; and to a more or less open degree, it is about sex.

That may explain why recent decisions by two Roman Catholic high school principals on Long Island to cancel proms for the class of 2006 - both citing exasperation with what the educators described as a decadent "prom culture" - seem to have struck a chord well beyond the worlds of Catholics, high schools or Long Island.

Newspaper editorial writers, social scientists and parents across the country linked through Web sites have responded in the past two months with what seems like a giant exhalation of relief, as if someone had finally said what they had long feared to say....

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Engaging morality play; what do you think?

[McCamy Taylor]

1. It's about money. I'll bet the parents "buy" their kids a prom.

[Spinzonner]

2. Only if it's done right

[asjr]

3. OMG! Now I know why my 1950s H.S. graduation class

wasn't allowed to have a prom. They thought we were going to have SEX!

[hlthe2b]

4. Mixed feelings..

Proms have always been the epitomy of the "in-crowd" versus the "average," the ultimate "have" versus "have not" morality feast. The peer stress to "prove onself" based on who you come with, associate with, the $$ trappings that go with it and with outdoing each other, and then the pressure to drink, party hard make the event a risky one for so many, to say the least. The pressure for sex seems to pale in comparison to the basic opportunity for disaster or long lasting psychic impacts.

Some still enjoy themselves, I'm sure, but I think the pressure put on the "average" kid suggests more do not. I will date myself, but I'll never forget first learning of how even "mainstream" kids were spending many thousands$$$ of dollars on limos, dresses, after prom parties, I mean, a limo! Even the "coolest" kids never would have pulled that off (and I'm not THAT old).

I could care less about the religious morality views. I do care about upping the anti on the social cliche phenomenon that leaves such lasting results on these kids. But, I think it should be a local issue. Perhaps (and this may sound very quaint and provencial), if the schools remained involved with the kids in planning the event, as they once did-- perhaps even putting some limits on it, it wouldn't be such an issue....

[Warpy]

10. That's part of it, sure

another part is that it's become yet another big business deal, the prom "planners" emerging, limos getting shined up, no more home made dresses and first nice suits, it's all ball gowns and tuxedos, no more local combo hired through the musicians' union, it's a name band or a team of club DJs. No more repairing back to somebody's basement rumpus room, it's a catered after party at a hotel (which is where the sex comes in) and no mere corsage, it's a shower of gifts and souvenirs. The upper middle class prom is something to behold, an extravaganza that is fully orchestrated and staged, not to be topped until the kids graduate college and some wedding planner takes over. Working class kids can't compete with this stuff, although many have parents who go into debt trying, hoping their kids won't be excluded like they were.

I'd really love to see a breakdown of the expenses for this stuff, I'm sure it would be an incredible eye opener for a lot of people.

I don't know why a school dance became such an extravaganza. I do know a lot of parents and quite a few kids would be incredibly relieved if more schools rebelled against it. Rich parents could go back to paying for cotillions and their daughters could go back to being debutantes, offered on the slave auction block to the highest bidder in marriage. The rest of us could be spared the incredible burden of trying to satisfy the ridiculous demands of something that has gotten completely out of hand.

[LibDemAlways]

5. Prom evolved from a high school formal dance

into a decadent orgy involving expensive clothes, expensive restaurants, limos, drinking, drugs, and parties in hotel rooms. The traditional dance has very little to do with it anymore. The schools' refusal to sponsor it won't necessarily mean the end of prom night at those schools. Where I live in Southern California it would mean the kids would go from the restaurant to the hotel without having to put in an appearance at a well-chaparoned dance they didn't want to go to anyway.

[Mandate My Ass]

8. lol. so true

the dance is the part you have "get through" before the real partying begins.

Cripes, my prom was six kids squeezed into my date's father's old Ford. We went to a diner afterwards and then home (although we did get high in the parking lot). By today's standards, I'd have to move to a different country to live down the shame of such penury.

[HockeyMom]

6. We rented a Limo for my Prom in 1966

Catholic Girl's School in Manhattan. Drive? Who drives? Hail a bunch of cabs? ROFL We left the Prom early and went to a Nightclub. At the time, the drinking age was 18 and we were legal to drink. Nope, I didn't, but the dinner and show were great. After that, the limo took us to an all night diner and we had breakfast and the limo drove us home at around 5 AM. For those times, I am sure even this cost of a lot of money (3 couples). Manhattan is EXPENSIVE, no matter the decade.

[sakabatou]

7. I may not go

I hate school dances and the DJs suck.

[BobRossi]

9. Catholic girls are always easy! nt

[mitchum]

17. That's because they grow up subconsciously eroticising a skinny naked man

that's how I always explained my success with them

[TallahasseeGrannie]

11. This isn't the first time

I taught HS in the Seventies and a lot of schools cancelled proms then for lack of interest. It just wasn't cool.

[lanlady]

12. good idea on financial grounds

In my part of Va. it costs a young couple a hefty $500 or more--tux rental, limo, dress, dinners, tickets etc.

[bluestateguy]

13. They'll just have expensive private parties

So I don't know how much of a victory this is.

The real losers here may be the kids from less well off families (not all Catholic school students are rich) who don't have the social connections to get invited to one of the private parties. Now they will be left out in the cold.

[regnaD kciN]

14. Not necessarily...

The "expensive private parties" were all centered around the prom. Take that away, and there will be no reason for activities centering on that particular night.

And, if it's sex and drinking they want, there's no need to book an expensive hotel suite for a group for that! ;-)

[AngryOldDem]

15. I applaud these schools

Sure, kids and parents are going to do what they want, but that does not mean that the schools are obligated to endorse it.

[mitchum]

16. But how will they learn to be good little consumers?