Jesus Bans "Christian" Group

[kliljedahl]

Jesus Bans "Christian" Group
Shocking announcement sends militant Focus
on the Family organization into crazed tailspin

By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist
Friday, December 9, 2005

In an astonishing but not completely unexpected announcement, Jesus H. Christ, vice president and CFO of All That Is Inc., appeared today on a large tortilla at a roadside taco stand in Zacatecas, Mexico, to announce that, effective immediately, the pseudo-Christian group Focus on the Family, led by Dr. James Dobson and best known for its blazing hatred of gays and its fear of glimpsing the human female nipple during nationally televised sporting events, is effectively banned from His Divine Beneficence.

"What happened was, the heavens and all spirits of goodness, along with Buddha and Shiva and Allah and Kali and a few others, well, we were having some margaritas and playing poker and tossing around recent headlines, when Allah chimed in that this Focus on the Family group -- a real scab on my big toe for years, I gotta tell you -- well, they just decided to yank all their accounts from a bank over the bank's support of gay rights," said Jesus, dressed in black Diesel jeans, Hugo Boss motorcycle boots and a snug tank top featuring a large OM symbol across the chest.

"J-Dog," as he is known to his friends, was referring, of course, to the recent story about how the militant, Colorado-based "Christian" group has just pulled all its accounts from Wells Fargo Bank after learning that the bank had donated a small sum of money to gay rights causes, including GLAAD, a sum totaling about $50,000, or about one-tenth of what Wells Fargo gave to the GOP last year.

The Christ, apparently, had had enough.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

1. LOL You don't wanna get

on the wrong side of J-Dog, you know.

[Joe_VB]

2. That is too funny.......

[kliljedahl]

3. Punt

Keith’s Barbeque Central

[kliljedahl]

4. one last one

[Clara T]

5. Jesus also said the following:

:toast: