What would you like to give Ann Coulter for Christmas?

[npincus]

I'd give her a one-way broomstick to fly off on.

[AtomicKitten]

1. A dirt nap.

[klook]

2. Unshaveable leg hair (n/t)

[npincus]

4. LOL- she already has some on her face

meow meow meow!

Does DU have an exception clause for nastiness directed towards Ann Coulter? Moderator?

[Bloodblister Bob]

3. An a** f***ing.

[Norquist Nemesis]

5. A big steak

that she chokes on.

[Spinzonner]

6. Radioactive Iodine

[tanyev]

7. More pie!

Or, in the spirit of the season, a nice big fruitcake in the face.

[KC_25]

8. a dildo and some batteries...maybe some lube

closest thing to the real thing that I am willing to go, to get her to loosen up a bit

[npincus]

9. tick... tock... counting the seconds till htis thread gets locked!

I hope not, though.

[KC_25]

10. that not allowed?

I'll edit it?

[npincus]

22. don't know... I know the 'b'-word is a no-no

but, I would leave it as is. After all, it's more concise than saying "electronic device meade of rubber or plastic which is either cordless or plug-in..." and I'll leave off the rest!

tee hee

That witch is only reaping what she has sown, in my opinion!

[derby378]

68. The b-word is "batteries?"

:shrug:

[julialnyc]

11. a condom so he doesn't reproduce

N?T

[npincus]

26. LOL

[Historic NY]

12. A bag filled with crap, like she/he is........n/t

[Rockholm]

13. A Heart

[KC_25]

15. her body would reject it

[Rockholm]

24. Too true.

[Sinistrous]

14. An indictment.

Inciting terroristic acts would be an adequate charge.

[Name removed]

16. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Bluzmann57]

40. Coulter with a child?

No Noooooooooooo! It's just too scary to think that he/she would poison a kid's mind like her's/his is poisoned. Besides, only women have reproductive organs.

[Ilsa]

17. A big old chicken bone that will stick in her craw. eom

[HughBeaumont]

18. A fiberglass-and-phosphorous enema.

A close shave.
Clostridium Botulism.
10,000 non-pacifist liberals.
A date with Rush Limbaugh's magic cyst.
Two strands of my gential hair.
A steel-toed boot up the ass.
50,000 papercuts and dunked in a chlorine hot tub.
A drink from a pressure washer.
Two pounds of uncut Brazilian cocaine.
Repeated chest chops from Chris Benoit.
Clawhammer anal love.
Frank Drebin.
Adorable Adrian Adonis.

[npincus]

31. oh my!

I can't think of anyone else who would deserve such abundance.

[HughBeaumont]

36. I can.

[npincus]

37. I hear Satan is warming up his Neocon Grill...

in case Cheney doesn't get what he deserves in THIS world.

[ThatsMyBarack]

19. This:

The hideously huge fruitcake I saw posted in the DU lounge just now!

[madrchsod]

20. about 20 lbs

and a date with jesus.

[AntiCoup2K4]

51. Hey, what did Jesus ever do to you?

...to deserve a date with Manndrew?

[Crankie Avalon]

21. Her two front balls...her two front balls...her two front balls.

[npincus]

23. ROFLMAO

did I get that acronym right?

[Vogon_Glory]

25. A Miracle That Only G*d Could Give Her

I'd like to give Ms. Coulter a miracle that only the Almighty could give her. I'd like to give her a new body with short arms, short legs, a stocky frame, a dark completion, and homely features. Coulter would get to keep her long, straight, hair, except that it would grow thicker and turn black.

I would also like to take away her command of the English language, make Quechua her primary language, Spanish a second language, and citizenship in some small, impoverished Andean country.

[npincus]

27. Wow, that's creative.

Sounds like poetic justice.

[ticapnews]

28. A year in a Wal*Mart factory in China.

.

[Lyle]

29. A teabag!! n/t

[Tamarin]

30. A sandwich.

[SeveneightyWhoa]

46. Ditto.

You took my answer. :evilgrin:

[orion9941]

32. Duct tape

That way she has something to hold her 'junk' back like all the other drag queens do.

[malta blue]

33. a swift kick in the A$$

[converted_democrat]

34. I'd buy her a soul, a heart, and maybe a conscience to go with it. n/t

[Loonman]

35. A large print copy of the Constitution

So that Nazi bitch can find out how much of a fascist she is.

[npincus]

38. at the top of HER list:

a bl*wj*b from Sean Hannity

[Rocknrule]

39. A copy of "Dude, Where's My Country?"

:evilgrin:

[kcwayne]

41. GI gear and a ticket to Iraq

[Cleita]

42. Skydiving lessons,

with Randi Rhodes as her partner and in charge of the rip cord to her parachute.

[saltpoint]

43. a copy of Shakespeare's sonnets.

The woman does not respond to socio-political common sense, as she's so hellbent on fire-belching and character-smearing.

We have to call in the big guns.

Call down to the bullpen and have the Sonnets start warming up...

[unpossibles]

44. a clue. n/t

[drdtroit]

45. A Brain.

[MurrayDelph]

47. A boot to the head!

"People talking in picture shows,
People smoking in bed,
People voting Republican,
Give them a boot to the head"

-- The Frantics

[KharmaTrain]

52. I Was Thinking Hot Pokers In The Eyes

But this will work as well...

As well as an hour with the Tai master...boot to the head...zooop...

[Best_man23]

48. A 12 month tour in Iraq

Let her tour Fallujah with the Marines, ride in unarmored Humvees, and pound sand.

[walldude]

49. A clue.... n/t

[lpbk2713]

50. A solid kick in the nads. ............... n/t

[Buns_of_Fire]

53. An atomic wedgie

It's all I can afford to give ANYONE this year.

1. It's affordable.
2. It's remembered.
3. No one ever turns their back on you ever again.

[Zambero]

54. Rabies shots

It might be too late however.

[NMMNG]

55. Antipsychotics

That witch needs to chill the heck out, big time.

[Can o Beans]

56. Crabs*

*with someone else's equipment.

[anitar1]

57. New clothes to go with her adams apple. n/t

[lonestarnot]

58. a turd ornament

[npincus]

59. tee hee

[Hubert Flottz]

60. An M-16 and a ticket to Baghdad!

And Rush for a buddy over there, to watch her back!

Edit...I almost forgot...And some pig feed!

[rurallib]

61. A weenie warmer for her 'package' (n/t)

[graywarrior]

62. Sessions with a sex abuse therapist

There's obviously abuse in her past.

[proud2BlibKansan]

63. a feeding tube

[slampoet]

64. I think Coulter needs.....Cookies!!!

and lots of them!!! STAT!! Keep the eggnog coming.


Either that or a couple of marimba malletts so she can play her ribs.

[formercia]

65. A one way ticket back to the Insane Asylum cesspool

she was conjured out of.

[SHRED]

66. A sex change~~to a woman

}(

[Kansas Wyatt]

67. A Strap-On

Then he/she can feel like a real man, and won't be confused into thinking he/she must portray himself/herself as a woman (quickly transforming into an alien specimen), because he/she only has a little 'nub' down there. It would also eliminate all of the deviant negative sexual frustration built up, that he/she releases by lashing out at all of the normal people or the Reich Wing opposition.

[derby378]

69. Give her what she REALLY wants and get it over with

By that, I mean Condoleezza Rice and a strap-on intimacy-enhancing prosthetic.

:evilgrin:

[hippiegranny]

70. a sandwich

and a clue.