My direct action Christmas shopping list

[flvegan]

I figure that this year, I'm going to shop the same, yet give differently.

This year, rather than the Hilfiger this or the Ralph Lauren that items that I'd buy for my brother, I'll take my money to a thrift store and buy a couple jackets, a few sweaters and several pairs of gloves. Then I'm going to drive those items to the local soup kitchen or Food Not Bombs to give directly to homeless folks that don't have these things. It's Florida, but it's still cold the next few months. In the card I send my brother, I'll tell him that I bought him these gifts, but I gave them to someone that really, truly needed them. My brother has a roof over his head and a good job, and he'll understand.

This year, rather than the Chanel No. 5 products and the gift card to the local indie bookstore that I'd probably buy for my mom, I'm going to give a few $50 gift cards for Target or some such place, and I'm going to drive them to my local battered women's shelter, The Spring, to be given to a woman in need, embarking on renewing her life. I know that she'll need to get back on her feet, and will need things to do that. She might also have kids that will need school supplies. In the card I send to my mom, I'll tell her that I bought her these gifts, but I gave them to someone that really, truly needed them. My mom is a strong, healthy woman, retired and secure, with two sons that are independent, and she'll understand.

I'm not married, but if I were, she'd be an animal person like me, I'm sure. I'd probably buy her jewelry, plus whatever was the top item (or couple items) on her list. So this year, rather than those things that I'd buy her, I'm going to find a struggling animal rescue, and I'm going to ask them what the top item on their list is (within reason). If it's food, count on a pallet of it. If it's vet care, I'm going to hook them up. If it's blankets/toys/supplies, they're getting them.

Lastly, the office I work in does one of those gift exchange things. You can spend up to $20. My gift will be a picture of $20 worth of food that I'm taking to the local Food Not Bombs to hand out with the rest of their stuff. The card with it will say that the $20 trinket they might have gotten and possibly not wanted went to feed people that really, truly needed it. My coworkers obviously have a job, and they'll understand.

I think I'll do this from now on. I'd rather not buy for those that have, and buy for those that have not.

[NanceGreggs]

1. This is a TRULY EXCELLENT idea! n/t

[Oceansaway]

2. kudos to you !!!

[orpupilofnature57]

3. Unadulterated Generosity!!!

[babylonsister]

4. Aw, you are a dear heart! K&R! I love all of your ideas!

My sister and I have decided to give to a charity instead of each other. We were going with Heifers Int'l, but I'm sick about the situation along the gulf coast, so will be directing my efforts there.

[Allyoop]

9. Much better

than gifts that get "re-gifted" because they don't fit either the body or the spirit of the person gifted.

I've been giving to Habitat to Humanity (hurricane victims this year in my younger son's name) - Heifer International (for tsunami victims in my daughter & son in law's name) and Oxfam (for earthquake in Pakistan in the name of my older son and his wife).

I try to find something that I'm pretty sure they will like for their birthdays. I just got tired of the commercialization of Christmas.

[elehhhhna]

5. and for us lazy people, there's Heifer International

http://www.heifer.org/

The only online catalogue that features LIVE water buffalo! http://www.heifer.org/site/c.edJRKQNiFiG/b.204586/k.A0BB/Meaningful_Gifts__Heifer_International_Online_Gift_Catalog.htm

[pitohui]

8. a great organization

but again don't tell yr mom that she's giving a cow to a village in uganda

you give the cow in private AND you get yr mom a gift that makes her feel pampered and special

[Name removed]

6. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Catchawave]

7. Tis the reason for the season......

Flvegan :yourock:

[CTyankee]

10. It's good to know that for the kids

it's double OK to buy American Girl products, as they are under attack from the RW because they have partnered with Girls, INc., a nonprofit that supports Roe v. Wade and gay rights.

I ordered my granddaughters' gifts (on 2 separate calls) and both times I especialy mentioned to the person taking my order that I was proud of American Girl and would continue to buy from them, due to their respect for the values I believed in (as well, of course, for their very high quality product).

If there is a little girl on your gift list, consider American Girl and TELL THEM THAT YOU SUPPORT THEIR PARTNERSHIP WITH GIRLS,INC.

[flvegan]

11. Got a link?

I'd like to read up/look into this...

[CTyankee]

14. It was in Newsweek

Not this week's issue, but last week's. There must be a way of getting a copy of the story, either online or at your library. This week's issue had some great LTTE about it, mostly in favor of AG's stand. What I loved most was that these RW parents had so wholeheartedly embraced American Girl's wholesome, historic and nonexploitive products for girls, only to find out that this approach and liberalism was synonymous, to nobody's suprise but theirs! Now they're screaming bloody murder. My granddaughters LOVE these dolls and I feel good buying their stuff (if I have to buy stuff).

[LeftyMom]

12. Does this mean LeftyKid isn't getting his own bolt cutters?

You're gonna make him cry. ;)

[flvegan]

13. I get those for free...

so no, he's still getting them...

[Generic Other]

15. We should all do this

Thank you for posting your idea. It is a wonderful one.

[Catchawave]

16. I agree...wonder what's up with the

detractors from flvegan's holiday spirit suggestion :shrug:

[Texasgal]

17. I agree...

I think it's beautiful and well thought out. As a matter of fact I am considering this wonderful suggestion!

It's such a shame that there are so many on DU with shitty attitudes.... Holiday spirit at it's finest. :(

[Sacajawea]

18. I've begun doing the very same thing, flvegan....

For a number of years I've had a very difficult time knowing what to do about my niece. She is an only child who has grown up with everything --- in quadruplicate (or more)!!! So last year, I happened to read an article by Nicholas Kristof (NYT) about a Pakistani woman who'd been gang raped as punishment for a crime her brother was alleged to have committed (!!!!!). Instead of committing suicide, evidently as other women do there, she fought back and ultimately started a school, which was desperately in need of funds. So I sent $100 to her and in my niece's birthday card I enclosed an explanation of what I was doing and why.

This year, for her 21st birthday, I sent $250 to an organization called The Smile Train, which provides operations for poor children to repair their cleft lips/palates. And again I sent my niece a card and an explanation.

So this is my solution to dealing with the problem of my not feeling right about giving even more "stuff" to someone who already has so much, and who will have even more "stuff" in the future (from her parents, etc.)

~Sacajawea (40+ year vegetarian, but not a vegan...that's awfully hard...I tried it several times) :)

[ScreamingMeemie]

19. My mother would never speak to me again...Ever. Which might be

a good idea. ;) That said, the kids and I always adopt a family or person in need and contribute to their needs. :hi:

[nofurylike]

20. this is a wonderful plan, flvegan! thank you! will do! eom

[Nevernose]

21. Why don't you ask these people beforehand?

They'll probably say yes, especially if you say "I don't want anything either, just give it to charity and let me know which one."

Christmas is about giving, true, but giving to the people you love, just because you want to see them happy. And that actually sounds like a good idea. I'm going to call my friends and family in the morning and ask them how they feel about it.

But my daughter? My four year old nephew? They need presents. And while my dad would probably think it was a great idea, my mom would certainly like it if I took the time to get her at least a little something to show that I cared enough to comb over crazy department stores and spend my hard-earned money on and then spend the rest on a battered woman's shelter. I love my mom, and if she wants a present, she gets a present. Period. She's earned it. So how well do you know your friends, family, and coworkers?

And I believe that some charities allow you to give money to them in someone else's name, and then send that person a thank-you card saying it was all your idea.

[flvegan]

22. I really don't need to.

I know my family and friends, thanks.

Giving to people I love? Where do I draw the line? I have love for everyone. I see someone cold, shivering on a park bench, why not love for him/her? I see someone in line for a meal because they're hungry, why not love for him/her?

Something really strikes me here...
Your quote..."Christmas is about giving, true, but giving to the people you love, just because you want to see them happy"

Because you want to see them happy. So it's not about their divine happiness, but because you want to see them as such.

Got it.

[Nevernose]

26. Please explain "divine happiness" and respond to my pet peeve

I was just a little unclear on this point of "divine happiness." If spending 10 or 20 bucks on a music box that plays my mother's favorite song will give her happiness and be something she treasures and looks fondly upon, then I won't feel guilty for a second. She's worked hard all her life, and she's earned a little happiness, even if it's temporary and only gained through some earthly, material object -- and who the in the Hell are you to go around judging other people's motivations or devotion to those less fortunate, not to mention someone's potential "divine happiness" or role in the afterlife?

I love the stranger suffering, too, but the God's-honest-truth is that my mother is a materialistic person, and would like something tangible to hold and treasure. And another question: what's wrong with wanting to see the people closest to you happy? Some people are closer than others. Your OP said it, when you suggested that you would give your wife more than your mother. Would you love one more than the other, or just owe one more? I sure couldn't answer that question.

And maybe I'm misreading your post, but I'm mostly on your side here; I think it's a great idea, and, with the exception of 20% of my mother's gift (the rest will now be going to a food bank, since she'd like that) and the presents I give to children, I think it's an idea I'll take. I just wanted to be sure that you, I, and anyone else reading our posts had thought everything through.

But my pet peeve:
Why do we, as a society, only/mostly give to charity around the holidays and/or natural disasters? Why don't we give more to a homeless shelter in, say, June? Hurrican Katrina was a horrific disaster, true, but there were a million homeless families the week before, and most people in this country didn't give a rat's ass about it then, did they? Why? What's wrong with us?

Also, if we can't afford it this Christmas season, maybe we should consider volunteering more during other times of the year.

[flvegan]

27. Point taken...

If spending 10 or 20 bucks on a music box makes your mom happy, then sobeit. You shouldn't feel guilty. I don't think I suggested anyone feel guilty at any point, did I?

As for who the hell I am? Whoa...I didn't go there. I didn't judge, did I? You did then, and you might want to back the hell off.

I didn't suggest I'd give my wife more than my mother. I know what my mom would want, as she asks for nothing from me. Feel like shit yet? You should for implying such a thing.

Why do we mostly give around the holidays? Can't answer that. See, running an animal rescue as I do, means giving year fucking round. When I'm not giving there, I volunteer at my local battered women's shelter, and for the GLBT community in this shithomophobicfuckinghater community in which I live. I have no extra money, and no extra things. I give of myself 24/7, so I don't have a good answer for you.

Yes, please volunteer...

[Nevernose]

28. You seem kind of defensive today, flvegan

And I'f like to ask you, although I'm a totally random stranger on the Internet, to take a few deep breaths.

I asked you to explain your division between "divine happiness" and an apparent other kind of happiness. I don't know about your dictionary, but "divine" usually has a spiritual meaning for me, and you seemed to be impunging my motives for wanting to give something to my own mother. You also never actually came out and used the word "guilt," either, but that was the implication I got. Maybe I was reading too much into what you said: "Something really strikes me here... Your quote...'Christmas is about giving, true, but giving to the people you love, just because you want to see them happy'. I believe I DID say "...maybe I'm misreading your post." I even gave you the fact that, except for the children I know and my materialistic mother, I've taken your idea to heart and will be giving to charity in their names. Jesus-freaking-Christ, I'm on your side here, what more do you want? A twin sibling? A cloning tank?

I had a really great response about your mom versus your wife, involving a fifty dollar gist card versus the jewelry you would buy your wife. Then I saw the words "a few" before the gift card thing. what can I say? Mea culpa. I screwed up.

I also happen to give "year fucking round" too. When I'm not teaching English or trying to keep kids out of crack, meth, gangs, etc., I'm volunteering for youth groups and charity-church groups. That's why I used words like "we" and "society" when talking about volunteering. That wasn't directed at you; I just wanted your input. We might be arguing, but there's a thousand people reading what we write. That's why I ask of you in all humility, as a friend and fellow traveler, let's come to some kind of agreement. Maybe I'll go take a few deep breaths myself...

[flvegan]

29. Mmmkay...

It's not defensive, though. But, whatever.

You and I should both step back, take into consideration what good we are doing with what we might do from this post/thread. Then, I'll bet you and I come together on a tremendously positive level.

What do you say? We'll meet back here in 5 or 10?

[Booster]

23. Now, that's the true spirit of Christmas. You might also consider

buying a flock of chickens, gaggle of geese, bunnies, on up to a water buffalo from Heifer International, who gives the animals to a family somewhere in the world that uses them to sustain life. I've done that for several years now and you can print out a card that explains your gift to whomever you choose to give it to. It's a great organization.

[flvegan]

24. I appreciate the thought

and won't steer anyone from their gift to them, but I don't believe in the continuation of the least efficient means of turning crops into calories.

I'm thankful that you give to a charity that does what it can to help feed folks in need, though. I'm not finding any fault here, please don't read it as such.

[Booster]

25. I wouldn't think of it. Your post is beautiful all by itself and you are

one Hell of a human being. Hope you have a wonderful Christmas, and it sounds like you will. Peace.

[driver8]

30. I cannot believe the responses to the original post. WTF?

flvegan wants to helps some people out during the holidays and you guys act like he just killed his family!!

I think it is great what he is doing, and I am sure that he knows his family a lot better than any of us. He came on here to share with us his plans -- that is all. I don't see it as any more than that.

Good for you, flvegan -- do what you think is right.

[NMMNG]

31. Wow

Given some of the responses to this it seems that you said you were going to steal gifts from your family and give them to charities. I re-read your OP just to make sure I had not misread it originally.

You should do what makes you most comfortable. It is your money, and your holiday. Nobody should try to guilt-trip you into doing something you don't want to--your heart is in the right place. :hug:

[PittPoliSci]

32. what a great idea!

Your entire family should be proud of you! I don't care what the others in this thread are saying, this is what the season should really be about!

[hippywife]

33. Thanx, flvegan!

Your family no doubt knows how much you love them so others get to benefit from that, as well.

I wish more people would stop the materialistic drive and look around them to the real needs of others.

[LWolf]

34. I like this idea.

I've been thinking about something along these lines, but more gradual. Kind of "weaning" the family off expecting presents.

If I'm comfortable and happy with my choices, I ignore "tiny" or not-so-tiny voices of negativity. I tend to ignore negativity anyway; who needs it?

Negativity has no place in "good will towards people."

[mopinko]

35. thanks for starting my train of thought

i have been trying to figure out what to do about the small teacher, etc. gifts, on my list, as i will not be doing my usual insane cookie extravaganza this year. you nudged me to think of doing that shopping here
thanks.

[Mutley]

36. I think this is a wonderful idea.

And I think I may just do the same, except with my young neices and nephew. They're just kids and they wouldn't understand.

[flvegan]

38. That would be my exception, too.

If I had any little ones in my family, I'd still get them stuff for that very reason. Usually, each year I donate a few toys (or get with someone else and donate a new bike) to the local Children's Home (foster facility for kids that were removed from their parents' care).

I agree that the majority of kids wouldn't get it. If someone told me that they had given my toys to some other 8 year old, I'd have lost my mind.

[Angry Girl]

37. As long as you DON'T SHOP AT GOODWILL! (they are For Profit!)

And they've been conveniently hiding that status for years from the public. I hate them.

URGENT! Timing is critical to save earthquake victims before winter!

[IndyOp]

40. Who gets the profit?

They *should* be transparent about their profits and their employees, etcetera.. Being 'for profit' doesn't indicate whether they are responsible to their employees, customers, etcetera.

Better Goodwill than Walmart...?

:kick:

[mom cat]

39. Good God! You act like Christmas had something to do with that

rabble rouser, I think his name was Jesus. He had kookie ideas about feeding hungry people too. They got rid of him and not much has been done with his ideas since then.
Next thing is you will probably be for Peace or something like that!
:crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy:

[flvegan]

41. You got me.

But I think that all of the leaders of religion kind of subscribed to the same thing.

Crazy, indeed. Rabble rouser, most definitely.

Great post, thanks.