YOU ARE NOT GETTING EMAILS FROM THE CIA OR FBI

[WilliamPitt]

Those are viruses. CNN, the Washington Post, the New York Times and virtually every other media outlet on earth has reported this story.

It's a virus. You are not a special or unique snowflake. We are all part of the same compost heap. The CIA and FBI don't give a crap about you or the websites you visit.

Please stop posting threads about this. I've seen seventeen today already.

It's a virus.

End transmission.

:P

[Lex]

1. It had to be said.

Thank you.

[bpilgrim]

56. it helps alert more people to the virus

nothing to get huffy about...

peace

[OhNoTheyDidNot]

2. Then this one would count as 18 in total? haha, hey I AM TOO a unique

snowflake. My mom told me so.

[benburch]

3. Why do people always fall for this stuff, Will?

Sad, really.

[FizzFuzz]

21. thanks I feel better

knowing you pity me for my stupidity.

Sorry, I was just truly freaking--I've never seen one with a name and plausible address plus phone numbers before.
And, I have been surfing and coming across some very ...umm....questionable websites, so I really did think something "happened".

Usually, I have no trouble spotting the scams.

[bpilgrim]

59. inexperience

good thing they got DU to set'm straight ;->

peace

[Skink]

4. MMKAY

You are not on any watch lists either.:scared:

[Ladyhawk]

32. Including Bill O'Reilly's black list. :D n/t

[ET Awful]

5. Seventeen e-mails or seventeen posts?

:evilgrin:

Here's a little hint folks . . . if the CIA or the FBI were watching you, they would NOT tell you they were watching you. The first you'd know of it was when you saw Jose Padilla in the cell next to you.

[WilliamPitt]

8. 17 threads

18 now.

:P

[EFerrari]

6. Darn! I so wanted to make the A list. lol n/t

[johnfunk]

67. I didn't get the FBI spam, but I did recently receive this:

MR. GEORGE W. BUSH
[e-mail]
WASHINGTON, DC
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

DEAR CEO FRIEND,

MY NAME IS GEORGE W. BUSH, SON OF A WEALTHY OIL SALESMAN KNOWN FOR THROWING UP ON JAPANESE PRIME MINISTERS. AS WELL I AM THE PERSONAL ASSISTANT TO KARL ROVE, THE DIRECTOR, NATIONAL REPUBLICAN PARTY AND MINISTRY OF CORPORATE CONTRIBUTION.

I AM WRITING IN RESPECT OF A FOREIGN CUSTOMER OF MY ORGANIZATION (MR. SADDAM HUSSEIN) WHO WAS REMOVED FROM POWER AND CAPTURED BY PROXY REPRESENTATIVES FROM MY ORGANIZATION, AND SINCE HAVING DISAPPEARED COMPLETELY FROM PUBLIC VIEW. FEARS FOR HIS LIFE MAY BE WELL FOUNDED, AS HE HAS MUCH INFORMATION REGARDING CERTAIN SENSITIVE INFORMATION. YOU CAN CONFIRM THIS THROUGH THIS WEB SITE:

HTTP://WWW.DEMOCRACYMEANSYOU.COM

IRREGARDLESS OF HIS LIFE, SINCE THE DISAPPEARANCE OF MR. HUSSEIN, I HAVE PERSONALLY WAITED TO ASSIST ANYONE WHO WILL PRESENT HIMSELF OR HERSELF AS HIS REPLACEMENT DESPOT IN THE MIDDLE EAST REGION KEEPING STRONG TIES TO OUR ORGANIZATION, OR AT LEAST BEING REPOSITORY FOR VAST SUMS SPENT ON OUR ALLIED ORGANIZATIONS, BUT ALL WITHOUT SUCCESS, AS NO ONE HAS EVER COME FORWARD TO CLAIM A DEPOSIT OF EIGHTY-SEVEN BILLION DOLLARS US ($87,000,000,000USD) WHICH HAS BEEN WITH OUR TREASURY FOR A VERY LONG TIME NOW.

ON THIS NOTE I DECIDED TO SEEK FOR WHOM HIS NAME SHALL BE USED AS THE REPLACEMENT, SINCE NO ONE HAS COME UP TO PUT UP CLAIM AS THE REPLACEMENT TO MR. SADDAM HUSSEIN, HIS SONS BEING DEAD, AND PUBLIC SUSPICION OF OUR RELATED ORGANIZATIONS SUCH AS HALLIBURTON OR BECHTEL OR ALCOA OR HARKEN OR VIACOM AND THEIR SUBSIDIARIES, HAS INCREASED TO THE POINT THAT WE CANNOT TRANSFER SAID FUNDS TO THAT BRANCHES OF OUR ORGANIZATION THROUGH CONVINCEABLE MEANS.

OUR ETHICS AND TRADITION DO NOT ALLOW SUCH MONEY TO STAY MORE THAN FOUR MONTHS, SINCE AFTER FOUR MONTHS THE MONEY WILL HAVE BEEN UNSPENT ON POLITICAL FAVORS OR EVEN KICK BACKS. KEEPING THAT SUM UNSPENT WOULD BE A BREACH OF OUR POLITICAL PHILOSOPHY AND IN DIRECT CONFLICT WITH THE PRACTICES OF SAID REPUBLICAN PARTY AND ITS SPONSORS.

IN VIEW OF THIS I GOT YOUR CONTACT THROUGH MY ORGANIZATION’S CAMPAIGN FINANCE AND ELECTORAL MISSION AFTER I WAS CONVINCED IN MY MIND THAT YOUR COMPANY COULD BE USED AS THE BARREL FOR THIS PORK. THE IMPORTANCE OF A CORPORATE EXECUTIVE AS A PARTNER IN THIS TRANSACTION IS OCCASIONED BY THE FACT THAT THE MR. HUSSEIN HAD MUCH BUSINESS DEALINGS WITH CORPORATIONS IN OUR ORGANIZATION, BOTH DOMESTICALLY AND ABROAD AS CAN BE SEEN ON THIS WEBSITES:

www.cnn.com/2002/US/09/30/sproject.irq.regime.change

www.msnbc.com/news/812805.asp

ADDITIONALLY, YOUR POSITION IS SEEN AS OUR ORGANIZATION TO BE ADVANTAGEOUS IN THE COLLECTION OF FUTURE CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTIONS AND PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT.

I HAVE ARRANGED THAT 20% OF THIS MONEY WILL BE YOUR SHARE FOR STANDING AS THE PARTNER AND FOR PROVIDING AN ACCOUNT, TOTALING $17,400,000,000USD FOR OFFICIAL CONTRACTED NATIONAL SECURITY SERVICES, WHILE 5% OF THIS SUM WILL BE SET ASIDE TO TAKE CARE OF ANY EXPENSES THAT MIGHT BE INCURRED ON BOTH SIDES, IN THE PROCESS OF THIS TRANSFER AND THE REST WILL BE FOR ME AND MY COLLEAGUES IN THE UPPER INCOME BRACKETS. ADDITIONALLY, 10% WILL BE SENT BY YOU AS “SOFT MONEY” CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTIONS OVER THE NEXT TWELVE (12) MONTHS TO THE REPUBLICAN PARTY OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

IN RETURN, I WILL VISIT YOUR COMPANY FOR PHOTO OPPORTUNITIES OF WHICH WILL BE MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL, AS THEY WERE FOR OTHER ORGANIZATIONS SUCH AS HOME DEPOT, WAL-MART, ENRON, TYCO, AND WORLDCOM.

AT THIS JUNCTURE, IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT THIS BUSINESS IS HITCH FREE, AND HENCE YOU SHOULD NOT ENTERTAIN ANY FEAR AS THE WHOLE ARRANGEMENT REQUIRED FOR THE TRANSFER HAS BEEN PERFECTED. YOU CAN RESPOND TO ME THROUGH MY PERSONAL EMAIL: ALTERNATIVELY, YOU CAN REACH ME THROUGH MY PRIVATE TELEPHONE. JUST DIAL YOUR COUNTRY'S INTERNATIONAL ACCESS NUMBER, IF APPLICABLE, THEN FOLLOW IT BY THE NUMBER FOR THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, 01, FOLLOWED BY

202 456 1414

THE SWITCHBOARD OF MY PERSONAL SECRETARIES. WHEN YOU REACH THEM ASK TO BE CONNECTED PERSONALLY TO ME, EXPLAINING THAT YOU ARE THE RECIPIENT OF OUR MUTUAL AGREED SUM AND THAT YOU WERE THE SOLE RECIPIENT OF AN E-MAIL OFFERING THIS. IF NO ANSWER IS TAKEN, LEAVE A MESSAGE.

BECAUSE OF THE AMOUNTS INVOLVED, IT IS NECESSARY TO CONFIRM YOUR IDENTITY. A SECRET PASS WORD IS GIVEN TO YOU HERE, WHICH IS “MONKEY,” AND YOU ARE TO MENTION THIS THREE TIMES, INTERSPERSED AT RANDOM IN YOUR PHONE MESSAGE TO ME. I WILL THEN RETURN YOUR CALL IMMEDIATELY. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SAY IT DIRECTLY THREE TIMES IN A ROW.

I LOOK FORWARD TO OUR MUTUAL BENEFICIAL BUSINESS DEALINGS.

BEST REGARDS,

MR. GEORGE W. BUSH WASHINGTON

[EFerrari]

69. That's great! You should sent it to Craig Newmark.

He'd love it! :)

[sinkingfeeling]

7. Very well said, Will

[YOY]

9. No guff

When the CIA and FBI start thinking that I have been looking at "illegal" sites I'm pretty sure they won't give warning when the gestapo breaks down my doors.

"Illegal Sites"... :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[tulsakatz]

10. that makes sense.........

.....if they were watching you, they certainly wouldn't want you to know about it!! They would want to watch you more closely to see what else you are interested in........

[YOY]

14. Which is why I was amazed that some people wouldn't know it's spam

with a virus attached no less.

A bit of Information Age Darwinism for everyone.

[kliljedahl]

26. Yeah, just open that "zip" file

My Freeper boss did,
:dunce::dunce::dunce::dunce:
:woohoo::woohoo::woohoo::woohoo:
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[BJW]

27. Info Age Darwinism--I like it!

[YOY]

36. As opposed to Intelligent Design Creationism

Yes...the fact that you opened the virus, it crashed your computer, and you have to buy a new one (or get some massive tech help) is ALL part of some greater plans...no doubt Jebus is in the air!

[rzemanfl]

11. My understanding is that this is a ploy to get you to open a zip

file containing malware. At least that is what we were told at work yesterday.

[kenny blankenship]

12. consider it, instead, a wakeup call from Microsoft

Your roof is on fire,
time to exit the Windows.

[IndyOp]

62. Yup. We in the Mac world just watch and snicker.... ;-) .nt.

[pitohui]

13. so why start yet ANOTHER thread on the topic?

ignore them to let them die or report unnecessary dupes to the moderators for removal

but why start another thread to complain that there are too many junk threads on a subject?

[WilliamPitt]

17. Because I'm a big, fat asshat

Did you miss the memo?

[EFerrari]

18. No, you're a HUGH!! fine public address system.

:rofl:

Happy Thanksgiving.

[pitohui]

22. i never get any memos...or fibbie emails either

must be losin my touch

[EFerrari]

24. Or, maybe just plain lucky.

:)

[TalkingDog]

25. I never figured you were fat....(*snicker*)

Kno, seriesly, yur a grate gy.

And I like your non-snarky writing too.

[5X]

15. Just because I am paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't watching me. eom

[titoresque]

16. I was sent this same potential virus 5 times in the past 3 days

I didnt open any of the zip files. I kept getting emails from what looked like Yahoo, Cox, etc saying that my account had been approved........but of course I did not open an account, and sure enough a zip file was attached to the email. I just kept deleting them.

[FizzFuzz]

19. sorry. I had no idea there were so many other same threads.

Now, about the special snowflake thing--
Golly gee, I was just freaking out and asking for a clue from all the highly clued people here. I didn't think I was donning any mantles of unique specialalitydom.

I'm just a schmuck who likes to surf porn and I thought the kabosh was finally upon me.

I hope your request is special enough in snowflakeland to grab the attention of any other hapless slushbrains along the curb like myself, who freak before searching through 70,000 posts on a Wed night.

;) :P

[DistressedAmerican]

28. Stay Off Of Illegal Porn Sites. Just My Advice.

I didn't mind your post BTW. It clued me into the circulating virus. I have yet to get mine. Good to know in advance.

[FizzFuzz]

38. If only the illegal ones would have a red flashing warning sign

so we'd know! I mean, really, how am I supposed to tell?! Otherwise its kinda like entrapment. Or something sneaky.

;)

If only I'd been at DU for a few hours before reading my email, I'd have known ahead of time. Well, at least you're forewarned so you won't have to get a case of heartburn like I did from the shock of a convincing looking spam!

[WilliamPitt]

45. How in the crap

do you find an 'illegal' porn site in the first place. Never understood that.

[FizzFuzz]

51. like I said, it would be nice if they were so kind as to include

flashing lights and sirens....

but seriously, I've come across some pretty scary stuff in my wanderings. It makes me wonder what I should do when it happens--like is there some number to report really upsetting, suspicious looking porn? :shrug:

[Midlodemocrat]

20. NO????? DAMMIT!!!!!!!

Haven't had access to DU in the last few days due to travel...., but when I booted up the computer tonight and saw that, I was SURE I was going to Gitmo as a subversive.


Will Pitt..... you have RUINED my Thanksgiving.


:P

[EFerrari]

37. lol. Well, maybe next time! : )

[undeterred]

23. I want to know why I didn't get any

It can't be my Yahoo spam filter. :shrug:

I am not a special or unique snowflake. :cry:

[TalkingDog]

29. Poooor Baaaayyyybeeee....everybody needs a Poor Baby once in a while nt

[greatauntoftriplets]

34. Me either.....

You'd think the FBI or the CIA would find a way around my Yahoo spam filter and send this important missive to me. But NOOOOO, it worked.

Also, there was that little email at work yesterday from the SysAdmin.

[RebelOne]

58. I'm feeling left out, too. I haven't received any either.

[drm604]

64. Neither have I.

I think that means that you and I really are special and unique snowflakes. Everyone who gets one of those emails is unimportant. Those of us who don't are they ones they don't want to make suspicious.
See, you just have to learn to think like them and then it all becomes clear! :P

[Initech]

30. Great Fight Club reference!

:rofl: :rofl:

[mike_c]

31. no-- no really-- I got one that said it really was from the FBI....

:rofl:

[ninkasi]

33. I haven't recieved any that claimed to be...

So...if I e-mail Riverbend, they won't come put me in a "re-education" camp? That's comforting to know!:hi:

[951-Riverside]

35. For the past 7 months that I've had my email address...

I've only recieved one piece of spam yet on my other address that I use for specificly junk mail I get about 100 per day not to count the viruses that I've probably recieved but never opened or bothered to look at :P

[RebelOne]

39. I think by now we all know this.

There have been numerous threads on this subject.

[Bluebear]

47. :snarf

[ScreamingMeemie]

40. I poop roses.

[KoKo]

41. no....I'm not getting any of that crap...n/t

[SmokingJacket]

42. Damn, I been left out once again.

What, is it my firewall?

You'd think the FBI could get through my chintzy firewall!

Isn't that why we pay taxes?????????? :crazy:

[dweller]

43. Hi Agent Mike!

:hi:

we're on to you, so put your noodles together and come up with another one. :crazy:

dp

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

44. Ha! That's What's Great About You Will,

You can post a thread with the exact same topic as probalby 20 others by now, but get 50 plus replies when they got like 10 LOL

God Bless Ya Will, and Happy Thanksgiving To Ya!

:toast:

[chat_noir]

46. kick so that there won't be any more new threads posted on this

:kick:

[upi402]

48. beep

101000011101011100000011000110001011

[proud patriot]

49. Well Darn it , I thought I was Special

:-(

[AuntiBush]

50. Thanks again, Will....

Have enough "not" to worry about, then to think that.

The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself! FDR

[EFerrari]

52. FDR didn't know Dick Cheney

[Kolesar]

53. Huh?

I was away for 12 hours, sorry. What did I miss?

[johnaries]

54. The fact that so many people BELIEVE that the FBI or CIA

are monitoring their internet activities speaks volumes, though.

A lot of people are beginning to realize that thanks to the PATRIOT Act, Big Brother is here!

[johnaries]

55. why should we believe YOU, Chuck Bungfeeb?

OF COURSE a CIA agent would say that "no, the CIA and FBI aren't watching you"!

And what's ther REAL puspose of mandatory Digital TV? Will the TV be watching us while we're watching it?
:scared:

Remember, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean the world ISN'T out to get you!
:evilgrin:

[H2O Man]

70. That's it!

How can we be sure, especially in light of the fact that there is a missing military intelligence officer, "Resident Spoof," warning us that Will Pitt and Chuck Bungfeeb are one and the same?

[Laurab]

75. My thought exactly!

When I got the email from the FBI, I deleted it, but now with this denial from an undercover agent, I'm scared...also, the emails from sysadmin, banks I don't bank at, "friends" I don't know warning me about stuff, I delete them ALL...am I in trouble now? I'm really confused...:)

[0007]

57. That's a copy, and thank you. Perhaps the paranoia will ease up a bit

now, 'eh?

[Berserker]

60. One thing I do know

I know how to catch a unique snowflake.....unique up on it.:yoiks:

[0007]

61. Took me a moment. That made my day. Thank you Berserker.

[drm604]

63. K&R

:kick:

[shrike]

65. Well, anything that ends up in my bulk mail folder

automatically gets deleted. Those particular missives gave me a good laugh, though -- you'll know the world is ended when the CIA/FBI are looking at ME.

[MsConduct]

66. These viruses only showed up in my email after visiting DU. Seems to me

this site has been HACKED. Got an email from a friend who just visits here and doesn't post, he got all the virus emails only after coming here.

[Berserker]

68. You might have something there

I told my friend about DU and he only came here once to read the posts and now he has toenail fungus.

[frazzledmom]

71. So you saw 17 and thought to start another one?

C'mon Will, if people are stupid enough to believe they are getting e-mails form the FBI or CIA because they have "visited 30 illegal sites" maybe they deserve to get infected. They are probably still waiting for that $1000 check from Bill Gates too. :eyes:


-Walldude borrowing my wifes computer...

[BigBearJohn]

72. Randi Rhodes thought she was singled out. She got fooled too.

[johnaries]

74. They probably ARE monitoring Randi's computer,

her email, her phone....

[Generic Other]

73. Thanks for the tip Chuck!

So. what does it mean if you don't get email from them?