If Jesus Were Alive Today...

[mrhopeforwes]

No way he'd vote for Bush,
To those who say he should,
He'd say, "Kiss my tush!"

If Jesus were alive today,
Boy, would Congress get a smack.
For practically everything they've done,
Especially for trusting Jr. with Iraq.

If Jesus were alive today,
With Bushies he'd be pissed:
"Ignorance is no defense!
Otherwise, get yourself a psychiatrist."

If Jesus were alive today,
He'd put John Kerry in his place,
As the world's lamest candidate:
"Why'd they even let that jackass race?!"

If Jesus were alive today,
For the Democrats he'd have much scorn,
For keeping out Wes Clark:
"Was it yesterday these fools were born??!"

If Jesus were alive today,
He'd say the media was to blame:
"Don't think I haven't noticed,
That you people have no shame."

[NAO]

1. the Religious Right would have him crucified. Some things never change.

[mcctatas]

2. Doh!!!

:spray: I think that could possibly be my favorite reply ever! I can see it on a t-shirt now.

[RepublicanElephant]

6. got that right! the pharisees were also religious hypocrites. n/t

!

[Dogmudgeon]

3. Tacky

I don't think Jesus would bash on John Kerry for having one leg, especially since he has both of them.

Oh, wait, I get it! "Lame" is one of those Generation X™ metaphors for "poor". Like, sometimes I am just so GAY!

Nor would He bash on Kerry because he disappointed you in the election by losing.

Would Jesus annoint Wes Clark? Well, the Republicans thought that He annointed George W. Bush. (And I'm a fan of Wes Clark.)

--p!

[SoCalDem]

4. He'd slit his wrists..n/t

[northzax]

5. you think Jesus would vote for the military guy?

somehow I think not.

[NAO]

9. He (allegedly) said he came "not to bring peace, but a sword"

If you believe that the Gospels accurately record his sayings, then that IS what he said.

Or you can be a picker and chooser and pick the nice stuff about helping the poor and choose to ignore the mean stuff like eternal hellfire and damnation.

Personally, I don't think much, if any, of the stuff in the Gospels is accurate. And the stuff in Paul's letters are the rantings of a man who had a seizure so intense it made him go blind for days.

The God Who Wasn't There (DVD)
http://www.thegodmovie.com

Movie Trailer
http://www.thegodmovie.com/trailer/tests/GodWhoWasntThere-Trailer-LG.mov

[countmyvote4real]

7. Jesus would play with a unicorn.

Sorry. I knew that I should have not opened this thread, let alone post a response like this because I'm not a big supporter of the various Jesus cults.

(Jesus teachings = cool. Jesus cult reinterpretations = bad. Unicorn sighting = can I score some of that?)

[begin_within]

8. He would be doing this...

[Leopolds Ghost]

10. OMG! Using the powers of the Sun to melt the Antichrist! Paging MacGuyver

:evilgrin: