It hits a little closer to home today.

[Nickster]

I'm at school right now waiting for my first class to start. One of the guys I'm working on a group project with tells me he isn't going to be in class today because he just got word today that he's deploying to Iraq. He leaves on the 21st. My heart is a little heavier today.

I've been out of the service for about 13 years. I'm still waiting for that letter to come to my house saying it's time for a little reunion tour or two or three.

I keep holding in the worry. I read an article here and an article there about the personal story of a soldier that passed, right around my age, similar background and it hurts me everytime. I just keep thinking, there but for the grace of God go I. Meanwhile,another part of my brain says, "How long til your story is in the paper?". I look back at the few pictures we have seen of flag drapped coffins, and I keep wondering, would one of them have cured cancer? Did they say I love you to their significant other before going or did they just disappear from this world? How many wonderful ideas will never be known? How many children will grow up to only know Daddy as a picture?

I try not to say anything because I don't want to worry my family. But each day a new mention comes up here and there. One more reason to constantly worry. One more reason to shed a tear. I feel so selfish for worrying about myself, but I keep thinking about it. I keep imagining what I'm going to do when I get that letter.

Dear God, when is it going to stop?

[lovelaureng]

1. I feel your anxiety.

I have been out of the military for about that long as well. I don't think about receiving a letter in the mail any longer. I use to worry about it a lot myself, but no longer. Life is too short, you need to begin enjoying it once again. You've done your time. You need to let the next generation of troopies take care of it.

[babylonsister]

2. Ah, Nickster, I hear you. All that potential now

gone, it's such a damn shame.
Are you in the IRR or did you get out, period?

[Nickster]

5. I'm past the IRR period, BUT I recall when we were getting ready to

deploy for Desert Storm, and I was drawing equipment along with guys who were easily in their 60s. That was when I had it explained to me that you belong to Uncle Sam for as long as they have a need. I remember my Mom writing me letters telling me about her experiences with friends during Vietnam and me just constantly telling her it wasn't going to be like that. Luckily I only got to the processing part, the fighting was over before they needed me as a replacement.

The thought of being called back never really bothered me until these last couple of years. Go figure. I've had a bag packed with equipment ready to go since I got out.

Oh wait, I'm supposed to be a commie pinko 'murika hater. Disregard all previous messages.:-)

[babylonsister]

6. My husband is retired, 20 years+ a few days. Can they

really DO that? We haven't been worried at all, though I do recall when he retired he had to be 'available' if/when called.
Who ever thought it would come to this? Hang in there! :hug:

[nadinbrzezinski]

8. One word, YES

yuo get a check every momth from uncle sam right? That is a retainer...

[Deja Q]

3. "Dear God, when is it going to stop?"

The day we're six feet under feeding worms and pushin' daisies to greet Mr. Sunshine. :(

Don't feel bad about feeling selfish. EVERYBODY does when they realize their time is coming.

[nadinbrzezinski]

4. thank you for your service

and I share your worry, as my husband is a retired chief and very much in the IRR... so I hate to check the mail

That said we go on with life and do all we can to stop this madness

[phusion]

7. Aren't many of those in the IRR

who are called up again refusing to go?

What's the penalty?

[nadinbrzezinski]

9. They could be courtmartialed

for basically going AWOL and later desertion

[Nickster]

11. From what I understand, there are about 5300 that have deserted

That's kind of the open secret that you don't hear anyone talking about. They can be prosecuted, but I don't think * is ready or willing to open up that can of worms. I'd imagine they will get a blanket pardon like Carter gave the folks that didn't go to Vietnam. I'm pretty sure it was Carter that did that.

The penalty would end up being jail time most likely.

[ignatius 2]

10. You are not being selfish at all.My gosh,we aren't talking about what

to have for supper tonight,this is a life and death matter. Peace to you,I know we here at DU continue to work to end this needless war.

Please try not to worry too much,stay strong and know that many of us care about you.