A prayer for the Republican Jesus

[dissent1977]

We call on you today Jesus, to rid our great nation of those liberals who have long hair and walk around in their sandals preaching to us about peace and helping the poor and all that other nonsense. Our good lord Jesus we know that you didn’t believe in any of that, you were the one that was always calling to lift the ban on assault rifles so that we can shoot the poor when they try to steal our bread. These liberals are doing Satan’s work Jesus, they are saying that women should have the right to choose. But women are not capable of making such a choice lord, that only people that should be able to choose when it is alright to kill the unborn are the good businessmen who pour mercury in our water. Jesus we know you would have never supported the use of condoms, so we have worked to rid the world of contraceptives. We don’t need contraceptives because we figured out that falafels don’t cause unwanted pregnancies. We know that you wanted us to spread peace around the world Jesus, so we did that for you by bombing Iraq and killing thousands of innocent children and now they won’t grow up to become killers. There are still killers in Iraq now Jesus, we know the violence in Iraq will end once we kill everyone there. Don’t worry though Jesus we are making up for all the life that was lost in Iraq, we have already saved millions of stem cells and a cell is worth just as much as any other human. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.

[GreenPartyVoter]

1. *lol* I love you. And I mean that in a most

_truly_ Christian way! :hug:

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

2. LOL. Great!

(Bill O'Leiley without a shave)

[RagAss]

3. Jesus please come back now...

I can't wait to see you slap these hypocrite bastards around just like the moneychangers you slapped who were exchanging money in front of your Father's Temple......

Amen...

[Legend21]

4. I love the prayer, but...

I know most liberal minded people want more regulation on gun control, but watch out for what you wish for...the only thing that stops a militia from violently taking over the citizens of a country are the weapons the citizens have available to them to defend themselves. You need the public to have more guns than the military...unless you want some crazy leader (ahem...Bush) to try to take over our country by military force...the government/military needs to be a little scared of the general public...don't you think?

[dissent1977]

5. the military has chemical and nuclear weapons

The military has way more weapons than the public does, and much more powerful ones too. There is no way to take on the US government through violence, they would kill us off very quickly. The best way to fight them is through non-violence, that is how Gandhi won and that is how we will win.

[Legend21]

6. The best way to fight them is with non-violence,

but having a way to defend yourself is never a bad thing.

[Swamp Rat]

7. Jesus HATES GUNS!!!

Welcome to DU!

[Legend21]

8. lol

That's what I hear :-)