Rush Limbaugh: "We are losing this war

[Mythsaje]

for the hearts and minds of America," remarked the portly pundit. "We give the libs too much ammunition to use against us. They call us 'chickenhawks' and accuse us of not wanting to make the sacrifices to fight a war we support.

Well, I want all good Conservative Americans out there to look inside themselves and decide, right then and there, if they've got what it takes to stand up for this war. Then, if you're not too old or infirm, I want you to march down to the recruitment office and sign up to serve your country. If you're unable to do this, I urge you to strongly recommend to your children that they step forward and do their duty."

A few hours later, Bill O'Reilly announced that he plans to spend the next 9 months in Iraq, getting up close and personal with the troops. He wants "to show America what it's really like over here--how the left wing exaggerates the danger--undermining the war effort and destroying troop morale."

"After all," he added, "it's not nearly as dangerous as Houston."

:hi:

Satire brought to you by the fevered imagination of Science-Fantasy author Saje Williams.

[acmavm]

1. Had me going there for a second.

.

[driver8]

42. Me, too! I was thinking..."WTF? Are they going to put their money

where their mouth is?"

How stupid of me...

[librechik]

2. it sounded so sensible I almost believed it!

jeez, since when were any of these psycopaths reasonable?

[Career Prole]

3. LOL! I thought for a second there that the Pigboy's ass-pimple

had healed! :rofl:

[MidwestTransplant]

4. You should send that to the Onion

[politicaholic]

5. Oh jeez, you got me too. My feet even got cold from hell freezing over...

I'll live a life with cold feet if that's what it takes to shut these a-holes up and have them tell the truth for once.

[cynatnite]

6. Well, at least he's telling everybody else to go sign up

At least my RW family's got enough sense not to listen to that twat

[proud patriot]

7. Darn it ... had me going there

:think:

[Canuckistanian]

8. You had me right up to "recruitment office"

THAT'S when I knew it was satire.

[Dr Fate]

9. We should spread this around as a fact.

This is very good propaganda that would be very tough for them to answer/counter.

[cynatnite]

14. Rush said we're losing the war!!! OMG!!!

It's GOT to be true! :rofl: :rofl:


Absolutely agree. Those four words should be clipped and sent to every newsgroup, blog and radio. Play it over and over and over.

[catzies]

19. Yeah, it would work too! I say we email-blast this, esp. to RWers

and if word gets back to Rush, he'd have to say, "I never said Americans should sacrifice!" :rofl:

[renate]

21. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that idea!

The DNC should hire you--that's brilliant!

:applause:

[Dr Fate]

23. Heh. They did once.

But not as a strategist, as a fund raiser. I'm doing non-profit now.

[cynatnite]

24. I'm telling everybody!

Whenever the subject comes up with some rw nutball, I'll tell them even Rush says we're losing. :rofl: I swear here and now that I will say it.:evilgrin:

[jen4clark]

40. Excellent idea

It would be so fun to hear what they'd come up with!! LOL!!

(kinda sad that this is my idea of fun...):crazy:

[Kikosexy2]

10. So...

Mr. Oh Really will be either hunkered down in the Green Zone most of the time and if he steps out he'll have like 20 armored vehicles surrounding him...uh yeah...right. As for Limpballs--thanks--we need him to rally Repubes and Repubes only to fight this war they supposedly support and sure let them sacrifice their children too--starting with Barbara and Jenna and Jeb's kids also. Did Limpballs get any calls opposing him after this statement?

[gratuitous]

11. I caught on at "look inside yourselves"

Rash Lardbutt never calls for introspection, just amoeba-like response to his predictable stimulus. That being said, an hilarious little passage!

[Daphne08]

28. Oh, Gawd. Can you imagine how ugly it is... "Inside Limpballs"

:rofl: :rofl:

[Serial Mom]

12. I could hear his voice, but knew those words wouldn't come out of

his a$$ - oops, I meant mouth.

[Catrina]

15. *lol*

I believed it! I thought he forgot to take his Oxycontin for a few days and a few moments of sanityl!

Send it around the Internet! It's Onion material!

[Jacobin]

13. This is exceptionally good news

Oh'Really in Iraq for nine months?


I'm just fuckin lovin the possibilities of that.

:woohoo:





:woohoo:

[JohnyCanuck]

16. Of course, anyone with a boil on their ass will be exempted.

Well, I want all good Conservative Americans out there to look inside themselves and decide, right then and there, if they've got what it takes to stand up for this war. Then, if you're not too old or infirm, I want you to march down to the recruitment office and sign up to serve your country. If you're unable to do this, I urge you to strongly recommend to your children that they step forward and do their duty."

[ComerPerro]

17. I knew something was up when I read the words "look inside themselves"

And I don't mean that in a dirty way...

But then again...

Nevermind...

Gotta get my mind outta the gutter.

[Sparkly]

18. haHA!!!

Good one!! :thumbsup:

[SalmonChantedEvening]

20. Ya got me!

*fishhook*


Funny as all hell :rofl:

[Sequoia]

22. But, he WOULD say that.

You're right on!

[Jacobin]

45. Actually, I don't think he would say that

If he started suggesting to his listeners that they had to actually go do something for this war, go do something for the government other than get their tax cuts, they would tune him out.

He is all about OTHER people taking personal responsibility for HIS delusional policies

[donco6]

25. HA!

More "Scenes We'll Never See."

Had me going for a sec.

[brokensymmetry]

26. Rush is right!

But then, even a broken clock is right twice per day.

The rethugs ARE losing the hearts and minds of America - at least partly over Iraq. That's a very good thing.

And America is losing the war in Iraq...but with Commandante Chimpy in control, what did we expect?

[LiberalAndProud]

27. Bravo!

:woohoo:

[hvn_nbr_2]

29. Losing the war for the hearts and minds of America...

Guess they'll soon start bombing American cities. That's how we win hearts and minds everywhere else.

My :sarcasm: added to yours.

[byronius]

30. 'Rush looked over the edge of the foxhole.'

"Damn, there's tens of millions of them out there. We can't survive this kind of fight -- fall back! Fall back!!" The lieutenant looked over at him sadly. "Rush, we have nowhere to fall back to. Air America is on the radio, the television, and in the print media. We lied to the American Public for so long that once they figured it out, we were goners forever. You had to know it couldn't last."

Rush began to whimper. "But -- but -- it was just entertainment..."

The lieutenant slapped him hard. "Dammit, get ahold of yourself, Blubber Boy! We're goin' over the top!"

"But -- but -- they're out there!"

"We're gonna hafta just try to melt in. So -- repeat after me --"

Rush bottom lip quivered. "O.K."

"Martin Luther King had a dream. Martin Luther King had a dream. Martin Luther..."

Rush couldn't take it. Standing up, he cried out from the depths of his anguish -- "NOOOOOOOOOO!!" -- and threw himself over the top of the trench to his most certain doom.

The Americans waiting there for him caught him with their largest net, prepared indictments, and offered him therapy and understanding.

And they all lived happily ever after.

[cynatnite]

31. The LT slapping him was effing great!

:yourock:

[Mythsaje]

32. Awesome! n/t

[hootinholler]

41. ROTFLMFAn/t

[Sparkman]

33. bs bs bs bs bs...toe cheese NEVER deviates from the Fear Reich Repups

[CatostrophicSS]

34. DAMNIT!

For a second I thought that a rational (semi-rational?) thought actually came out of that fat pigs mouth. I should have known better. You sure got me on that one.

[stickdog]

35. David Sirota on Rove's Comments

http://www.davidsirota.com/2005/06/letter-democrats-should-send-to-karl.html

Here is a draft letter that all congressional Democrats should sign and send to Karl Rove, with a military enlistment form attached.

Dear Mr. Rove,

Your comments yesterday about the War on Terror seemed to suggest that you feel very passionately about defending America, and sending others into combat. As you know, America is facing a serious enlistment crisis right now, at the very same time more casualties mount in the Iraq War. Therefore, since you have said you are so committed to this war, I have attached this enlistment form from the U.S. Army for you to fill out and submit. You are still young enough to contribute to the military and to the frontline war effort you say you care so deeply about.

Clearly, if you support forcing others to risk their lives for your ideological beliefs (without even providing them proper armor and weapons), you will no doubt be willing to risk your own. And I am sure you would not argue that your responsibilities as a partisan political adviser to the president is more important than fighting in combat for your country.

Please let me know when you fill out the enlistment form, and drop me a line when you get to Iraq to let me know if your still believe we should be sending troops to die for a war you lied about.

Sincerely,
Member of Congress

http://www.davidsirota.com/2005/06/note-to-chickenhawks-enlist-or-shut-up.html

A Note to the Chickenhawks: Enlist, or Shut Up

There are a lot of pathetic political hacks running around these days talking tough about fighting wars - and most of them have never fought in a war, avoided fighting when they had the chance, and have no family members fighting in our current war. When ultra-hawk Vice President Dick Cheney had the chance to fight in a war, he said he had "other priorities." When George W. Bush had the chance, he used his dad's name to get out of combat service. While Peter Beinart and the New Republic claim they truly believe in more hawkish policies, I don't see him or the magazine's writers lining up to enlist. And last I checked, the same Karl Rove who is attacking Democrats for questioning the management of the Iraq War, is the Karl Rove who has never served in the military in his life.

Now, as I wrote in a cover piece for the Nation magazine a while back, we shouldn't be surprised that these chickenhawks have no problem talking tough about war, while running away from it in their own personal lives. Tough talk about war, and criticism of those who oppose it, makes these pathetic souls feel stronger than they actually are - and they have used it quite effectively in the political arena.

But Steve Gilliard today really puts these chickenhawks in their place:

"If you will not serve in Iraq, and no one you know will serve, stop expecting someone else to do what you will not. Therefore, it is time to stop calling for more troops, or the US to make Iraq safe. We cannot do this and even Americans are refusing to join the fight. It is time to look at your actions and realize, that despite your ideals, you oppose continuing this war. In practical terms, you have decided that this war is not worth your life or anyone you know. And million of Americans have joined you in this decision. So, with this fact evident, it is time to call for US troops to withdraw from Iraq. Not save it, not add more boots on the ground. You have already voted by your actions. It is time that you match it with your words."


This is the way Democrats need to be talking about these issues – not cautiously asking for an "apology" from Rove. We don't want "apologies" – we want a real debate about this. That means it is time for Democrats to finally go for the throat and make clear that if you are going to vehemently advocate sending more and more innocent Americans to die in Iraq, you better be prepared to back up that rhetoric with some sacrifice of your own. And that goes especially for the inside-the-Beltway neocon crowd who makes decisions and spouts off opinions from the confines of the well-guarded cocktail party circuit, and thus never has to deal with the blood-and-guts ramifications of what they're talking about. If you are willing to ask others for sacrifice but evaded such sacrifice when you had the chance, and aren't willing to make any sacrifice yourself now - then sit down and shut up.

[kliljedahl]

36. You need to contribute to "The Spoof"

Rice, Cheney to vacation in Iraq

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In an effort to prove just how much “progress” has been made in the embattled and U.S.-occupied Iraq, the vice president and National Security Advisor jointly announced plans to visit Baghdad for what aides are calling “much needed R&R.”

Vice President Cheney, who was sporting a Hawai’ian shirt and Bermuda shorts while standing on the steps of Air Force One -- which did little to hide his notoriously pasty white shins -- said that Iraq was proceeding so well that he could think of no other place on earth where he would rather spend his two-week vacation.

“With the insurgency reeling from a bevy of the scathing rhetoric and a blistering campaign of moderately accurate bombing runs from our fighters, Iraq is as safe as any underground bunker, so I will be leaving mine for the sandy dunes of Baghdad,” the vice president said.

Rice, who made her announcement from the steps of a private plane reportedly scheduled for a flight to the Baghdad International Airport, was undeterred by reporters who inquired about her safety, especially in lieu of new reports that there were still insufficient amounts of body armor in the region.

Link: http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s2i8515


Keith’s Barbeque Central

[Rex]

37. You need to edit out the satire part

so idiot freeper-lurkers can go sign up and leave DU alone.

[Mythsaje]

39. Freepers

only read headlines.

They'll probably never notice the disclaimer at the bottom.

:evilgrin:

[cynatnite]

43. Hell, I'd post his entire quote at freeperland

They need to know that this draft dodger wants them to sign up.

[lateo]

38. Had me completely fooled for a minute...

[cynatnite]

44. We need to watch the recruiting numbers

see how many of them listen to old blowhard

[cynatnite]

46. Kicking this because it was just so damn much fun

:kick:

[Coexist]

47. this is too funny.

Great stuff.