U.S. To Discontinue Long-Term, Low-Yield Investment In Nation's Youth

[Paragon]

WASHINGTON, DC—In an effort to streamline federal financial holdings and spur growth, Treasury Secretary John Snow announced Monday that the federal government will discontinue its long-term, low-yield investment in the nation's youth.

"For generations, we've viewed spending on our nation's young people as an investment in the future," Snow said. "Unfortunately, investments of this type take a minimum of 18 years to mature, and even then, there's no guarantee of a profit. It's just not good business."

Snow compared funneling money into public schools, youth programs, and child health-care clinics to letting the nation's money languish in a low-interest savings account.

"This is taxpayer money we're talking about," Snow said. "We can't keep pouring it into slow-growth ventures, speculating on a minuscule payout some time in the future."

http://www.theonion.com/3937/top_story.html

[The Backlash Cometh]

1. LOL!

Actually, it's kind of sad, really. :think:

[Cappurr]

2. I swear I thought it was real

until I saw it was "The Onion".

[RC]

3. Even so, that's how some of those idiots think.

[baldguy]

4. Unfortunatly . . .

The Onion is often more accurate than the "mainstream" news.