You gotta see this amazing photo of the new Pope....

[ElsewheresDaughter]

[Bluebear]

1. Is he doing "here is the church, here is the steeple?"

[Kerrytravelers]

2. "So this means I don't have to sleep with Laura anymore? Yippeee!"

Stepford Wives are robotic, you know.

[gordianot]

3. The election

George W. Bush Elected Pope ... Cardinals Stunned!
Reported by Monsignor Guido Sarducci

The Cardinals from around the world who gathered to choose a pope in the Vatican's Sistine Chapel were stunned and expressed amazement.

Cardinal Roger Mahoney of Los Angeles had this to say:

"We in the conclave are all shocked. We cast our votes using Diebold electronic voting machines, and the results overwhelmingly favored George W. Bush over all the Catholic candidates. The last Pope, John Paul, was a superb linguist, fluently speaking eleven languages, and this one can't speak fluently in one language. We just don't know what to say."

The White House immediately announced that Dick Cheney will assume command as President of the World tomorrow morning, when "W' travels to Rome to begin his duties as Pope.

George W. Bush had this to say moments ago as he spoke from the Rose
Garden: "I am honored to be the spiritual lighthouse, and the first War Pope. I promise Evangelicals, Catho-licks, and Prostates alike that I will be embodied in salvation and fair in the performance of my duties.

"I am a Unifier, not a Divide-a-cater. I am obliged to try to save as many lost souls as I can, at least the Devout Wealthy Elite Souls, as it is well known that Heaven is a very select place, indeed, it is more exclusive than even the best of country clubs. It is a members-only Heaven. I may have to put a fence around it.

"I will perform miracles in a fair and balanced manner. Just as God used to wipe out entire races of people without warning, burning whole towns of perverts, killing off entire nations, and drowning everybody without a ticket to board Noah's Ark, I shall deliver the world from Evil Empires as I unleash the Apocalypse Wrath of Revelations.

"I will ensure the Rapture and the Reunion with our beloved deceased family members and with our departed purebred pets. I will not allow those awful Liberal Sissy Homosapiens to marry each other and I will put an end to the Clergy marrying Choirboys. I will lead the Crusades against all them towel-headed heathens-possessed voodoo-hoodoo barbarians whose Pseudo-religions don't accept the Lord as the Light of Democracy, and who worship fake made-up gods.

"They shall suffer my Godly Conservative Wrath and I will destroy them with my Cherubic Armies of Angels and they shall burn for eternity in Hell, because Me and God don't take no prisoners!"

[ElsewheresDaughter]

4. ROFLMAO!!!...that is great thnaks

[okieinpain]

5. uh, you made me waste a good click. shame on you.