For the DU public school teachers out there, is it harder to maintain

[NNguyenMD]

control of the classroom than it was say, 10-15 years ago? And if so, why do you think it has turned out this way? I have a friend who is leaving the teacher profession not long after she joined it, and she told me that in the area she worked (Bronx NY), the children have such little support at home from parents of today that pushing them to reach minimal state standards is unrealistic without dramatic investment of attention and resources. She's basically arguing that in her experience she is more surrogate daytime parent than teacher. What are your thoughts?

[NNguyenMD]

1. just and idea, but would a law requiring that the parents of a student

attending public school commit several hours of school service a year contribute much to improving schools in America?

Whitney High School out in Cerritos California is THE top public high school in America. Every year all the parents of the smartest kids in Southern California try to get their kids into that school. But I believe that the parents of all the students have to commit to a certain number of hours helping out the school each year their kid goes there. The hour number I believe is also in the hundreds.

[proud2BlibKansan]

8. I think that is a fabulous idea

My principal rarely suspends kids. She often asks parents to come to school and spend the day with their child. Of course, most kids don't act out when Mom is sitting right next to them. And it also helps so much for the parent to understand what our expectations are and to see their child interacting with peers.

[NNguyenMD]

15. I think more important than money getting parents more involved with their

children is vital. Maybe if legislators could make it easier for parents to leave work to see their kid in school, that might be a good start.

Btw I have incredible respect for people like yourself who go into teaching. Thank you for choosing to serve society in such a positve way.

[proud2BlibKansan]

17. It already is OKAY for a parent to leave work

to come to their child's school. Family and Medical Leave Act - passed under Clinton. My principal has called dozens of employers to ask that they release our parents to come to school. One even gave the employee a ride!

Thanks for the encouraging words. :)

[Gelliebeans]

16. I donate 12 hours a month to my

son's school. It is a requirement that parents participate. This is a charter school but it belongs to the public district.

[seabeyond]

2. as a parent and not a teacher

but two children in the 1st and 4th grade, i have been an active participant both in private and public. i was surprised how the private teachers embraced my participation as a parent. i figured most all parents did, they did not. a parent that held their child responsible for his academics and not make excuses or blame the teachers. they loved me

walking into public, i had one teacher afraid when asking to talk to her. it has taken a handful of interactions for her to know i am on her side to ensure a good education for son, and i know son and his deficits, where we need to work

the other teacher, she loves me, just goes on and on and on with what she wants to do with youngest son

i have always supported the teachers. i know how hard it is for them. you can see in the classes the children that dont get the attention at home.

i have always shifted responsibility to the parent, not the teacher. even if the teacher doesnt do a good job. still, it is the parent to make sure the child is staying caught up.

now granted these are lower grades with more parental control

[LizW]

10. You raise good points, seabeyond

There seems to be a destructive climate in many school districts where the parents are antagonistic, suspicious and disrespectful of the teachers and the teachers return the bad feelings. This situation NEVER helps the kids and NEVER makes for a good school situation.

It is not easy to develop trust and partnership between parents and teachers if it doesn't exist. You almost have to have a strong leader such as a superintendent or principal come in and teach everyone how to work together and trust each other.

I taught in a school where the parents were almost never allowed to come in and help out and see what their children were doing. The teachers viewed any parent who came into the classroom as a "spy". The parents talked bad about the teachers behind their backs and complained constantly about what was going on in the classroom. The teachers blamed the parents for everything the kids did wrong.

My children go to schools now where those in leadership actively encourage partnership between parents and teachers. Communication happens almost every day. I don't spend as much time physically in the middle school as in the elementary school, but I get newsletters and e-mails and other notifications to let me know everything that is going on. I spend hours volunteering in the elementary school, and I always feel welcomed by the teachers. Feeling appreciated makes me want to do more.

I am lucky to be able to stay home and be a full-time mother, so I consider it my job to volunteer in the schools. Many parents can't do this, but the schools still do everything they can to make parents feel wanted. The lunchroom welcomes parents to come eat with their children whenever they can, and lots of working parents do this.

I don't know how a public school could require volunteer hours of parents, but I strongly believe that the schools can foster an environment where parents want to help out. If parents are involved, they come to trust the teachers more, and understand the school situation more. They are less likely to blame the teachers for everything that goes wrong.

[VPStoltz]

3. It's getting that way everywhere!

Babysitting is what it has come down to.
I am not a parent, but I play one at my job. I can only respond to what I see: parents dropping off their kids at school and not even putting down their cell phone to say goodbye, young parents trying to look younger than they are and dressing like their children, parents giving their children "permission" not to do assigned homework, letting their children talk to them like they are children themselves, and on and on.
Parents today are wrapped up in materialism and their own self-gratification that manifests itself in weird ways. They want their children to like them so they spend more time working to get more things for their children that requires them to be away from home more but it makes them feel good to provide so many things for their kids - and they cycle continues because they take no time to teach real values, not these phony conservative values, to their kids like what something is really worth.
But most importantly, respect for the institution of education has gone down the toilet. Too many have made huge sums of money at "jobs" that both parents and children see as not requiring much of an education, so they feel they don't really need one.
Institutional racism still flourishes in American and many in the so called "minority" (that now includes the 49 million who didn't vote for Bush) are affected by this to the point of having said "screw it." We have a president who is proud of his ignorance!
My favorite comeback to an obnoxious child is, "You must me mistaken for one of your parents. I am NOT your parent and you do NOT talk to me like that."

[NNguyenMD]

7. What do you feel is the single greatest factor that has undermined

classroom respect for teachers?

Before high school, I was in regular subject classes where the learning environment is so much more different than from being in an honor's class. I was lucky that my counselor took pity on me and let me into the honors classes in high school because I'll tell you, the environment is so much more healthier and better. Learning actually goes on when you don't have some punk student mouthing off or yapping on his cell phone all period long.

If every classroom was the controlled healthy learning environment as in the honors and AP classes I experienced in high school, education would be far less of a problem in America today I feel. But of course one major difference between honor's classes and regular, in honor's classes the majority of students are pushed to do well at home and are given a lot of support to keep doing better in school.

[proud2BlibKansan]

4. My thoughts?

I can retire in two years and am having a hard time talking myself into sticking around any longer than that.

It is nearly impossible to reach a kid (especially a difficult one) without the support of the parent. Most parents are good people and do a good job raising their children. Most parents back me 100%. But all it takes is ONE bad one to make my day pretty miserable.

The bad one I have had to deal with this year has a 9 year old boy with severe emotional problems. He disrupts class all day long. He has about a 30 second attention span and needs constant re-direction. He rarely finishes any work and almost never does his homework. Mom NEVER answers her phone when I call and NEVER returns my calls when I leave a message. I finally sent our social worker to her house to ask Mom to please come to school to meet with me. Mom yelled at her from an upstairs window to get off her property or she would call the police. Then Mom called me at school and yelled at me that I was violating her privacy by sending the SW to her house.

The kid was suspended for telling a 9 year old girl he wanted to fuck her. Mom sent the kid to school anyway, the principal called her and Mom hung up on her. Then Mom called the supt's office to complain this was just a 'personality conflict' between her kid and the school. When Mom was reminded that he was suspended for what he said to the girl, Mom said well she is a Mexican and I told him he can't date Mexicans. Then Mom called the next day to complain he was put in ISS. She thought since she didn't agree with the suspension that he shouldn't be punished.

I have at least one crazy parent like this every year. I can't even begin to describe how exhausting it is to deal with people like this. The only thing that gets me through it is knowing that the other parents are not like this.

[seabeyond]

6. the bright side

you made me feel better that there are so many good parents, per you post. that excites me to no end, lol.

[proud2BlibKansan]

11. Most parents really are doing a good job

Most want their kids to get a good education and really respect what we are doing as professionals. But I could write several novels full of stories like the one I just posted. Last year, I had a parent with Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy. But she at least wasn't as hateful as this one I have this year.

The bad parents just seem to be getting worse. And bad parents almost always have bad kids. I wish I knew what the answer is.

[BlackVelvetElvis]

9. I feel for you.

I am at a loss for words.
You sound like some friends of mine who teach middle school.
One will not accept the use of the term "gay" as an adjective; it's bullying.
She had a complaint from a parent that said because of this, she was pushing the gay agenda (whatever that is). She is patient and blows it off as a nutty parent.
A kid brought a gun to school and it was hushed up because the school dreaded the bad publicity.
Another friend cut some kids from a sports team because they never showed for practice; the parents complained, the kids got back in. What does that teach them? If you make enough noise, someone will give in.
Every school, every teacher has a horror story. Teachers are called "terrorists" by those in the Bush administration because of the teachers union. It won't be getting better and no one is waking up to this fact. Our teachers aren't being supported or taken seriously on a local level where it counts most.
I love teaching (college level) and this is why I will NEVER work in a public school system.

[proud2BlibKansan]

12. Thanks

I wish now I had stayed in school and gotten my PhD when I was younger. Then I could look forward to teaching at the collge level when I retire. But hey, I still have time to do that I guess. If I didn't have a kid in college it would even be affordable for me to go back to school.

I just keep on buying those Powerball tickets LOL.

[Bouncy Ball]

5. No,

but my experience was this: when I started teaching, I was at a high school with little to no discipline in the administration. The kids ran the school, mostly. Out of control. So that was horrific.

Then I went to a middle school which was MUCH more under control. So no, it hasn't gotten worse, for me it got better. Plus my classroom management efficiency got much better with every year.

Your friend is right, though, about the need for a dramatic investment of attention and resources.

[Rowdyboy]

13. My partner is in his 29th year of teaching....

He is very discouraged and plans to retire next year, even though he'll only be 55. He wants to go into ANYTHING else. That said, he still can't help but be a TEACHER...its in his blood

[EFerrari]

14. You know, this is the thing that gets me.

We know that one in ten families is dealing with something like mental illness or addiction.

And, for those of us who are teachers, did you ever sit through that lecture. "Expect that in a class of 30, at least three of your students will be in a home dealing with a volatile or out of control situation."?

I never did. And as a boomer, I had this wacky idea that someone somewhere had already figured all this out and if I studied hard enough, I'd learn to follow their example and everything would work out.

How naive is that. Only in the last five years or so, are cops getting special training (CIT) so they have better options than shooting out of control people. There's tons of tools that classroom teachers will never get because no one prioritized their training. Parents bring home less and less and that includes energy, to deal with their families. But, we're building bigger and better prisons!

Something is so very seriously wrong with this picture.

[proud2BlibKansan]

18. The scariest statistic I have ever heard

is that many states determine their future needs for space in prison based on the numbers of kids who fail literacy tests in high schools across the state.

[EFerrari]

19. Oh God. That is scary. But, it's also true at this point.

I've posted this before, but L.A. County Jail is the biggest provider of mental health services ON THE PLANET.