Do you FEEL like an adult???

[skypilot]

I'm 40 but I still feel anywhere from 18 to 25 years old, except I don't do most of the things that I did then. Of course, I didn't feel like an adult then either. I'm not saying that I still want to party and act crazy and impulsive the way young people do and I most definitely give alot more thought to getting older than I did then but I just don't FEEL like an adult. Are there any of you who definitely DO?

[hholli1]

1. I have this discussion all the time...

and no one ever believes that I am as old as I am. But...on a good day, I feel about twelve or thirteen. :)

[sui generis]

17. stuck at 19, even though I'm old enough to be my own father

funny, I was thinking about this just this morning!

[patrice]

2. I have wondered about that for a long time. n/t

[ohiosmith]

3. Yes, thank you. Could I have fries with that?

[formerrepuke]

4. Nope- and its an endless struggle to remember to behave like one.

[Fridays Child]

5. Only freepers and their ilk happily lose their fire as they age.

[demnan]

7. Oh I have my fire

but alas, I also have my age.

[goodboy]

6. if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 130?

[Longgrain]

8. Me too, being single and having no children

I never have had to take responsibility for anyone but myself, so I can irresponsibly drink and smoke like I did in college with reckless abandonment. I much rather have gone down a different path, and have had a meaningful career and a family, but at this point in my life, I beginning to worry it will never happen and I'll never become "adult".

[Maru Kitteh]

37. Don't you think it's possible that setting yourself on a different path

now could bring about the fulfilling life you would rather have? It sounds like reckless abandon, smoking and drinking are taking the place of real satisfaction and meaning in your life. If these things took control of you, perhaps it's time to start seriously considering taking it back. Take back your life.

[amazona]

9. I always did

Even when I was a little kid, I felt like an adult and I didn't want others messing in my business. I hated being a kid. The lack of control and the constant being bossed around was hell on this earth. I like to organize my own affairs.

I don't look forward to getting old but being middle-aged is great and everything I hoped it would be. Young adulthood wasn't bad either.

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

[skypilot]

13. That's interesting.

Now that you mention it I felt more like an adult when I was a kid. I grew up in an abusive foster home situation and it was a daily battle to keep my sanity and to realize that it was the "adult" in my life that had the problem. I couldn't wait to get older and do my own thing and now that I'm doing it I feel like a kid.

[Radical Activist]

14. I was that way as a child.

But now I hate the thought of being an adult and avoid it as much as possible.

[MuseRider]

10. Nope, I never have

and at 51 unless I am looking in a mirror or my RA is flared up I think of myself as that cute little 17 year old I used to be. Nope, I refuse to let the parts of me that I can control grow all the way up.

[seabeyond]

11. i do feel like an adult, about 38

i said to myself, i think out loud, this is what an adult feels like. cool i see. hm. i like adult

[ComerPerro]

12. Sometimes, but not often. I'm 23 though

So, probably not.

[annabanana]

15. I fell like an adult when..

The bills are due
the kid has the keys to the car
the dog is sick
it's time to take down the Christmas decorations
the refrigerator breaks down

BUT

I feel like a kid when I get to kick around ideas here
or when I hear things like Voinovich saying "I'm not comfortable"
or when I watch Jon Stewart skewer the stinkers...
or when I watch my kids catch them in a lie that I missed..

[Justyce]

16. No, it feels more like some

strange dream & I'm going to wake up in my old bed at my mom's house 12 yrs old, wondering if i finished my homework, etc... Would love to start over knowing *some* of what i know now & make a few changes...

[skypilot]

21. I have that exact same feeling sometimes...

...except that I would be horrified to wake up in bed as a 12 year old again. Those were not good times.

[Justyce]

24. I had a great childhood,

great parents, great family -- the drawback to that is the shock of entering the "real world" where everyone's not so great... probably why I'd like to be a kid again :)

[redqueen]

18. Oh, yes. n/t

[Dora]

19. 35 and I still call adults "grownups"

Does it mean I've gotten it when I realize I don't get it?

[hfojvt]

25. they're grups!

Bonk bonk on the head! Bonk bonk!

I still hate it when a 20 something calls me "sir". There was a Bloom County where Steve gets called "sir" and he yells at the guy and says "see ya in the mosh pit bro". Then says to himself "nothing is worse than being called sir by a kid in a Pearl Jam t-shirt". The last panel shows a quite fetching young lady behind him who says "excuse me, sir."

Those whippersnappers can be so mean.

[maveric]

20. I'm 49 with a mind of a 17 year old.

I've been told to cut my hair and join the grown-ups. Buy an SUV get a mortgage, join a church...
Naaahhhh!! Been there done that before.
I'm buying a sailboat and am gonna be FREE!

[heidler1]

26. I built a 15 ft. sailboat at 78 and it created quite a stir in the

neighborhood. Two years before I built a double Gar. so I'd have a place to build the sailboat. I've been married 54 years and my wife pretty much puts up with my dreams, but I give her lots of rope, too. Mirrors are a kind of reality check, but I,ve never used anyone else as a yardstick for my life style. My 53 year old son wondered why I didn't buy a sailboat instead of building one. I tried to get him to see that building it was part of the life experience that I wanted. I'm not sure he got the point. I never do exercise for exercise sake because I believe unproductive sweat is negative compared to productive sweat. I know of no one that agrees with me on that.

[Dora]

29. How affirming!

Thanks for the post. It made me feel much better about my aversion to gyms and jogging. I love being outdoors, but as soon as I start thinking that I "should" go on a walk to get some exercise, then the walk just bores me.

However, if I go on a walk because I've been cooped up in the house and I need fresh air and I want to see what our neighbors are doing with their yards and homes.... now that walk is enjoyable!

[Ron Green]

22. In my opinion we are BOTH children and adults as long as we live,

and we develop, understand and nurture those different parts of us as we go through life. It's the child that is fearful when a new situation arises, and the adult who has the courage to do the right thing despite that fear. Likewise, it's the child who wants to play and enjoy the pleasures of life, and the adult that knows when to put on the brakes or make a different plan.

I believe that, to the extent we can manage our child and adult selves, our lives will work well.

[Spencer10]

44. What an astute post.

I was traumatized repeatedly and continuously over a 10-year period growing up, so my fear levels are much higher than the average person, which has caused a huge conflict between my adult and child peersonas. Even with massive therapy for many, many years, the struggle persists and is at times exhausting.

[Ron Green]

45. There's a cool little book called "Taming Your Gremlin"

that deals with the issue of these fear levels (I think it was written by a psych. from Dallas, in fact), the idea being that if you simply notice your fear and look at it somewhat dispassionately, you will not be jerked around by it but instead are free to make adult decisions. The author characterizes these fears as various types of "critical parent" figures which, of course, tap right in to the scared little child in each of us. To notice these critical messages for what they are is to let them go and develop the healthy adult persona.

And welcome to DU, by the way!

:hi:

[Spencer10]

47. Thanks so much for the tip

and for the welcome to DU! I'll definitely check it out. Perhaps I could even get an appt. with this Dallas doctor! Some of my fears got totally out of hand for about 5 years and developed into full-blown phobias which were totally paralyzing. Thank goodness I'm past that now but I'll never forget the terror I lived in each day. It was a humbling experience.

[Spencer10]

53. Ron

Did you know that Ron Carson (the author of the book) actually has a business here in Dallas called the Gremlin Taming Institute! Unbelievable. I've written down their phone number. Thanks again for the information.

[Ron Green]

54. You're very welcome. I just kind of remembered that he had been a

psychologist with a practice in Dallas (I was living in Texas when I read the book); I guess the "gremlin" idea has been successful for him. I think it's a useful way to look at fear.

[Athame]

46. Me, too, Spencer10

Very difficult to feel the inner child, and it is, at times, exhausting. I do try to keep children in my life, so I can learn how to play.

Gentle hugs to you. :hug: (virtual hugs are okay, right? I can't always handle them in real life)

[Spencer10]

49. Ohhh, thanks!

And yes, virtual hugs are totally acceptable. I even like real-life hugs. A child recently came into my life... my nephew, who I am raising since both of his parents passed away. He was also quite damaged from childhood trauma ... but we are both, in a sense, healing each other. We both trot off to therapy each week, but we're doing better together than we ever would have apart. However, raising a child, and especially a troubled one, adds responsibility to my life that I would never have chosen if given a chance. But it's also the most rewarding thing I've ever done, and the prospect of ending generations of child abuse in his lifetime puts a smile on my face.

[OldLeftieLawyer]

23. When I hit 30,

I decided I'd had enough of growing up, so I commenced growing down.

It's thirty years later, and I have never been happier. If I had known the freedom and power the years confer on an individual, I'd have aged a lot faster than I did.

Growing down. The only way.

And we're all sixteen years old, tops, when we look in the mirror - for the rest of our lives. You will notice, though, how your friends and college classmates got so fucking OLD! Then you marvel how that didn't happen to you.

Ah, delusions. They're so cool ....................................

[Binka]

32. Hey Women If You Want To Stay Young Have A Baby In Your 40,s

Baby will be four next month:





Me turned 46 on Valentines day:



It works. Wanna hear the down side? Nah I don't want to bum you out you don't want to know. :evilgrin:

[nonconformist]

42. Your daughter is beautiful!! nt

[Binka]

43. Thanks She Is My Darling Pups

She is as funny and smart as she is adorable. I'm learning karate for future male encounters!

[yodermon]

27. No one ever grows up

They just learn how to behave in public.

(and sometimes not even that).

[passy]

28. Sometimes but then...

...I put on some very loud record (like the Sex Pistols) and wiggle my arms and feet for about 5 minutes and end up collapsed on the floor with a smile on my face.
Another solution is jumping in puddles, do that for 2 minutes on a rainy day and nothing else will matter.
Having small kids is great too because you always have someone to play whose on your own wavelength.

[DistressedAmerican]

30. Not At All. Was Just Saying So To A Friend.

33, bald, greying in what is left, new baby and I still feel like a kid.

Makes me wonder about all of those "grown ups" I had contact with as a kid!

[Cash]

31. Yes, I do.

I remember how I felt when I was 18 to 25 and I definately don't feel that way anymore. I feel like an adult because I am an adult and I see things the way an adult sees things and I understand things in a way that an adult understands things and I do things in a manner that an adult does things.

[Butterflies]

33. I'll never feel as adult as June Cleaver seemed

though I'm probably older than she was on the show. I have a grown-up job and a house and a decent car, but my bedroom looks like a teenager's. I look in the mirror and it surprises me that my face keeps looking older because I don't feel any different as time passes.

[Maru Kitteh]

34. That is EXACTLY what I was thinking about the other day

I'm 37 but feel pretty much just like you said, 18-25. I was wondering if I'll still feel that way when I'm like 70 or so.

[tinrobot]

35. Reminds me of that 80's song..."I'm an Adult Now"

I think I became an adult as soon as I became a parent. Nothing like another life depending on you to knock you into reality.

Of course, I make cartoons for a living, so that part of me is still about 12 years old.

[nonconformist]

36. Ha, my mom and I had this conversation the other day

Me being almost 32 and her being in her 50's. We both at the core still feel about 17. I don't think it ever goes away.

I've definitely matured and become more responsible since then, but deep down I still feel like a teenager. When I talk of future plans sometimes, I almost have to stop myself from framing it with, "when I grow up..."

[Elle Woods]

38. Maybe it's because I've never had kids but I still feel like a kid myself

on some days. My job says that I'm a responsible adult. I have a mortgage, I'm married but yet, inside, I'm still in my teens I think.

[nonconformist]

39. Nah, kids don't matter

I have two boys, ages 7 and almost 10 and I still feel like a teenager deep down.

[Ironpost]

40. Adult in spirit, kid at heart. 57 and counting

[Divameow77]

41. Not even close

I'm 28 years young, married w/ 2 kids and I still can't believe I have my own home and I have to pay bills and be responsible.

[Individualist]

48. Chronologically I'm 61

Psychologically I vary between 8, 17 and somewhere between 25-30. I plan to celebrate my 62nd birthday Tuesday by playing hopscotch on my sidewalk (IMO I've reached the point where I'm entitled to be eccentric.) :-)

[trotsky]

50. I'd like to think I'm still a kid inside, BUT...

I actually look forward to things like shopping for furniture. I'm afraid the icy cold grip of adulthood has a pretty firm hold on me.

[skypilot]

51. Oh, WOW!!!

This thread is still going since yesterday. My flaky inner 18 year old had forgotten about it. I'll keep a closer eye on all you "kids" today.:)

[progressoid]

52. Yep, thats me. Just a kid too.

Except for the going bald thing. And the aching body parts.

Aw man, am I really 42?

[skypilot]

55. "Where the hell did all this gray come from?!?!"

That's what I find myself saying when I look in the mirror these days. I've actually started buying "Just for Men" hair coloring products. My inner 18 year old scoffs and rolls his eyes but the 40 year old looking back at me in the mirror is saying "Dammit, I'm not ready to be THIS gray yet."

[Spencer10]

56. Consider yourself lucky

you still have hair to color!

[skypilot]

57. I do find myself counting that particular blessing.

*

[progressoid]

58. As my hair thins on my head...

it seems to be sprouting out of my ears and other odd places!

[NewWaveChick1981]

59. Sorta...

I'm 41 (getting ready to turn 42), and I keep waiting for that "all grown up" feeling to hit...but it never does. I'm married and have been for 12 years now, and I've got a "responsible" job...but inside I'm 25. I guess I'll be like that the rest of my life! (Hey, it's definitely NOT a bad thing!!!)

I've been covering my gray hair for years now, but when I found my first gray hair some place OTHER than my head last year (it was my eyebrow), I nearly hyperventilated.

[skypilot]

60. "...gray hair...some place OTHER..."

That is the final frontier for me. Everything is just like it was in my younger days in that area. When things there and on my eyebrows start to go gray maybe then I'll feel "adult". And then again, maybe I won't.

By the way, welcome to DU, NewWaveChick1981.

[Karenina]

63. Razors are your friend.

Bald is "IN" ya know! :evilgrin:

[Piperay]

61. No and I'm in my 50's

I still think of myself as a 16 year old :bounce:and am shocked to hear myself referred to as an 'oldie' etc.:wtf:

[in_cog_ni_to]

65. and I HATE when youngsters call me ma'am.

:grr:

[UdoKier]

62. Yes. You're confusing 'adult' with a child's perception of a "grown-up".

When you're little, you see adults as all-powerful, having all the answers, free to do anything, emotionally strong, and unaffected by adversity.

But of course, when we grow up, we learn how to cope with the stresses of life, and how to put up those facades so we can coexist with one another, but adults are no less confused and vulnerable than children. That's the human condition.

[in_cog_ni_to]

64. Nope. In fact, I've been accused of being immature!

A 49 year old wife and mother who will never grow up. :) I LIKE to have fun. I still like to act goofy. I still like to do shocking, immature things like..."Do you like seafood?" and open my mouth. :eyes: you know the joke. My 12 year old does it all the time. :7 It keeps you young and having a 12 year old helps too. I like to grab my son and dance to some good ole' rock and roll or have spontaneous water fights with the hose or water balloons...things like that. I DO act my age at the appropriate times though...like at my son's school when I volunteer. I try not to embarrass him. ;) You're as young as you feel, if you want to be.

In 2003 I went to my 30th class reunion. :scared: We walked into the room that had a sign that said our class reunion was there, but, but, but the room was FULL of bald, gray haired men! I looked at my husband and said, "this isn't the right room!" Then an old friend yelled out my name and I almost DIED! It WAS the right room! LOL! Man, was THAT an eye opener. Had a blast partying all night too! My graduating class was LOTS of fun. We ALWAYS had a good time wherever we went (the 70's :loveya:)WILD and CRAZY. 30 years didn't change a thing, except the hair. ;)

[Karenina]

66. My sainted dragon mom

confided to me before she left us that she felt I was the only one of her 4 children who had become an "adult." ANYONE ELSE looking at our constellation would give my 3 younger siblings props, me being such a BLACK sheep and poor example. :shrug:

What's an "adult?"

I fling that word at my firstborn, who has just flown the nest is now flapping his own wings to remain airborne, as he curses me for my beat-up Converses and noncomformist ways. He's dealt with folks assuming I was his girlfriend. I was NOT a young mother, "Materna Gravis" was the phrase used...

I was stuck at 18 till 45 (got regularly carded and all). This past decade I been pegged around 30 as long as I flash a smile, profile and say NOTHING.