Is there any interest in an adoption group?

[me b zola]

There are issues that are unique to adoptees,adoptive parents, and those couagious enough who have given a child up for adoption. It could be a place for us to share not only feelings and experiences, but information as well.

I've been curious for a while. Anyone?

[Longgrain]

1. My sister has adopted...and is looking into adopting two more...

I'd support it if it came to pass...as an adopted uncle.

[metis]

2. Adoption

One of our children is adopted...don't forget about the Aparents.

[me b zola]

6. Aparents?

Would this refer to parents who gave children up for adoption? If so, thank you for correcting me in leaving them out. I believe that they have much to share. I was a recipient of a loving birth mother who loved me enough, not many have that courage (I type in tears).

[metis]

12. Aparents

No. I mean the people who are the parents of an adopted child.

[me b zola]

14. Thank you for the clarification

But my not understanding did force me to remember those who gave their child up for adoption. I believe that an adoption group that does not recognize these people and allow their voice to be heard would be remiss. Their lives have forever been altered by their choice, and their feelings & experiences should be included in our forum. Yes?

[all.of.me]

40. it's a triad

adoptees, adoptive parents, birthparents

[knowbody0]

3. i adopted three siblings

ages 4, 4 and 5 nine years ago. would love to join a group. have lots to share.

[me b zola]

7. Wow.

I think maybe our "little" community might be larger than I had expected. I would love to hear your experiences, as well as your feelings.

Lets hope I can make this happen.

[Cuban_Liberal]

4. We both hope to adopt some day, so yes.

:hi:

[Caria]

5. Yes

I became a mother through adoption & would be very interested in a DU group.

[Longgrain]

8. If you're interested in turning this into a serious Group Proposal...

Your going to need ten posters who are donors (I count four so far).

A mission statement on what you intend this group to be about.

And someone to take this to the Admins...

Otherwise, I'm with you 100%

:thumbsup:

[me b zola]

10. Thank you

I would welcome assistence in the mission statement. I will write a draft and post it, and will welcome critique. If you are so inclined as to offer a draft, all the better!:-)

Also,the ten posters must be gold star, so we may need a few more than just ten. I haven't developed any relationships with any Du'ers, so any influence that you may possess to get sponsers would be appreciated.;)

[Longgrain]

11. I'll go post something in the Lounge...

that might help.:hi:

[me b zola]

9. self kick....

..so that others will have the opportunity to see the thread.

[maddezmom]

13. I'm interested

I'm an amom to 2 children, age 3 and 4. And I'm also part of the Triad, as I was adopted by my mother's husband at age 6...no contact with my birthfather since.

[me b zola]

19. Thank you, on so many different levels

Would you please critique the rough draft of the mission statement that I have posted below? Please?

[Solly Mack]

15. Count me in

[ultraist]

16. I'm interested!

[me b zola]

18. Thank you

Could you please critique the mission statement?

[me b zola]

17. Here is a quick rough draft on a mission statement

ADOPTION GROUP MISSION STATEMENT

The adoption group seeks to give a forum for those whose lives have been touched by adoption. Whether an adoptee, adoptive parent, adoptive family member, or a person who has given their child up for adoption, we all share a collective bond of a unique circumstance that unites us. We come together to share experiences, feelings, and information.


Critique, please.

[Longgrain]

20. That sounds good to me...

And I think Skinner might approve...

We just need about five more nods.

[maddezmom]

25. just a few things might need tweaking

perhaps instead of "give up", the words "place" for adoption might be better. And instead of a person who, could be first parents or birth parents....just thinking out. :)

Also, was thinking we might want to add surrogacy and foster parents to the group? :shrug: Again, thinking out loud.

[me b zola]

26. Welcomed criticism

I agree, "placed" rather than "give up", and of course recognizing the birth parents as such is preferable.

I, however, do not know how to incorporate surrogates & foster parents into the mission statement. Although those issues are closely related to those of adoption, and in some cases overlapping, the naming & mission statement of the group would need to be changed. If you can adjust the name & mission statement so that the others will be agreeable, I'm all for it.

[all.of.me]

41. 'relinquish' is commonly used

[me b zola]

29. Second draft of mission statement

ADOPTION GROUP MISSION STATEMENT

The adoption group seeks to give a forum for those whose lives have been touched by adoption. Whether an adoptee, adoptive parent, adoptive family member, or a birth parent who has placed their child for adoption, we all share a collective bond of a unique circumstance that unites us. We come together to share experiences, feelings, and information.

[ultraist]

37. The mission statement sounds great!

I have one adopted child. I was adopted by my stepfather when I was 8, since my birth father had essentially disappeared. My stepfather already had two adopted children whom I spent weekends with as a child. One has met their birthmother.

I currently have four other children I'm taking care of through Social Services, who I have volunteered to take in as a temporary placement: an eight week old baby, her teenage birth mother, and her two siblings who are three year old twin boys.

We have a house full of children right now, including my 11 year old and 14 year old!

[me b zola]

21. stayin alive, stayin alive...

People need to see this thread!:grouphug:

[Longgrain]

22. Ah...ah..ah.. huh STAYING ALIVE!!!!!

Yes...:thumbsup:

:hi:

[me b zola]

23. Thank you much

But we're falling like a rock! I just know by some of the responses that there must be other DUers out there who have not seen the thread who would be interested!

Ah, ah, ah...

:hi:

[StrongbadTehAwesome]

24. I'm interested!

I probably wouldn't have much info to offer, but my husband and I have already decided that we're going to adopt when we decide to start a family, so...I'd definitely be interested in a group like this!

[Dem2theMax]

27. I'm adopted and very interested in this group. Count me in.

I know my birth families too. So I can bring that perspective to the group.

[me b zola]

28. I'm looking forward to getting to hear your perspective

My adoption was a closed Catholic adoption, so all I have is a couple of bio paragraghs about my birth families.

I think we need two more signatories to get this group up & running, so if you know anyone who would be willing to check in to give a big thumbs up, it would be helpful.;)

[Kerrytravelers]

30. My mother is adopted and it is somthing I ahve always wanted to do

to pass it forward, in a sense.

Count my star in.

[me b zola]

31. A big thank you to everyone that has signed on

I think we have enough gold stars, so I've proposed the group to the administrators.

I look forward to future discussions with all of you. :grouphug:

[Solly Mack]

34. Great! Thank you for getting the ball rolling!!!!

[Shrek]

32. Would this group include foster parents?

My wife and I are going through foster parent training right now so a group like this would be immensely useful. Would there be any objection to expanding the mission statement just a bit?

[me b zola]

44. Some one else asked about surrogates & foster parents as well

I do see that the issues are closely related and in many cases overlap each other. The mission statement has already been excepted, I will ask if it is possible to change it.

[me b zola]

45. Here ya go, what do ya think?

ADOPTION GROUP MISSION STATEMENT

The adoption group seeks to give a forum for those whose lives have been touched by adoption. Whether an adoptee, adoptive parent, adoptive family member, or a birth parent, we all share a collective bond of a unique circumstance that unites us. We welcome, also surrogates & foster parents, as they have experiences that interface with the adoption community. We come together to share experiences, feelings, and information.

[Shrek]

47. Looks good to me, thank you.

:thumbsup:

I hope the change is approved. Even if it isn't I'll still find the group useful because our hope is that our foster parent experience will eventually lead to adoption.

[Moderator]

33. kick

[Samurai_Writer]

35. The term is 'birth parent' or 'first parent'

for those of us who have surrendered a child for adoption. And personally, I would not want to be involved in an adoption group here, from all the birthparent-bashing I have read on nearly every adoption thread on DU in the past 3 years.

I do wish you luck, though.


Bella

[Beausoir]

36. Bella,

I am so sorry that you have been the target of bashing here at DU...and probably elsewhere. That is absolutely heartbreaking.

My 5 children were all adopted at birth. I love their birthmothers so dearly and I thank them as often as I can for what they gave to me and to our children.

I know I'm probably stating the obvious, but there ARE those of us out here who respect birthparents and the most difficult choices they have made.

That being siaid..I would be interested in an adoption forum, but I really worry that feelings will run so hot that it will disintegrate into a flame war in a matter of minutes.

Many months ago I posted here at DU that I take offense at the way society throws the term "adopt" around. Adopt a book..adopt a highway, adopt a pizza party, adopt a gibbon..etc. I got absolutely massacred for posting my thoughts...mostly by people who have no conception of adoption at all. It was absolutely vicious and it forced me off of DU for several months.
So..yeah..I'm worried that this atmosphere is not the most nurturing place for people to discuss and support each other.

[me b zola]

38. Thank you for the correction, Bella

I am so terribly sorry for how people can be so insensitive. I was adopted at birth and have nothing but respect for my birth mother, although I know almost nothing about her.

When I went to bed last night I began thinking of other potential problems that may arise, but I never imagined that there would be bashing of birth parents. Hopefully in our own forum we will be able to better censure hateful speech, I will speak to Skinner to address this issue.

Please, at least pop in and lurk. If all goes well you may one day feel comfortable with the others in the group to join in the discussion. I certainly, from my viewpoint, would cherish the experiences & feelings of birth parents.

[smtpgirl]

50. "The term is 'birth parent' or 'first parent'"

I second that Bella!!!

[all.of.me]

39. YES!

i was adopted and finding kindred souls that understand what you are talking about is NOT EASY!

yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes

thank you.

[me b zola]

42. The group has been OKed and should be up today!!!

There are things that are unique to us that others just can not understand. I'm excited about meeting others who will understand.


BTW, my birthday is coming up and this forum is a little gift to myself!

[all.of.me]

46. woo hoo!

what a blessing! no one gets it, so this will be good for all of us.

thanks for doing the footwork!

[shanti]

43. hi there

i'm an adoption consultant and would welcome an adoption group on DU.

[peacebaby3]

48. We're adopting now.

A fellow DU member referred me to this thread. Thanks go out to her.

We are in the process of an international adoption right now. Just getting started really. I decided to start a blog so other folks interested or thinking about adoption could read what we went through as well as keep family and friends up-to-date. Here's the URL:

<http://journeyofatticus.blogspot.com>

I'm going to check out the group if I decide to become a member/donor which I would like to do, but funds are tight right now. Adoption is rather expensive.

I definitely think this is a great idea.

[kimchi]

49. I look forward to the discussions.

Sorry I couldn't help; but I hope to get my star back soon!

I was adopted, and am lucky enough to be close to my half-sisters. I met my birth mother several times, and even lived with her for a few months in my teen years. She died when I was 19; and I have never held it against her that she was an alcoholic or that she just couldn't handle another kid.

I would very much like to adopt, in order to give back the blessing I have been given. The problem is the expense. I look forward to any ideas you all may have.

[peacebaby3]

51. I know what you mean!

We are adopting and it is very expensive. We are having some fundraisers and scraping every dime up. I decided to take a leap of faith because I have always felt that we were meant to adopt.

Birth Mothers are very brave when they give their children up for adoption regardless of the reason they chose or had to do so. I hold a great deal of respect for them.

You should think about taking that chance because I am sure with your background you would be an excellent parent for an adopted child.