WTF is wrong with "adults" these days?

[undergroundpanther]

This page may have an answer...

Alot of the "adults" who are parents that were born in the years when child rearing was more authoritarian,no touuch,no breastfeeding,cry themselves to sleep, the incubator babies,These generations of adults because of the way THEY were nurtured(or lack of)may be the wrong people to be having kids at all..

This is a webpage talking about the origins of violence,

Please anyone do look at it. This page is GREAT it offers real answers and a platform dems can use to healthis problem. Maybe no hope for the adults suffering from this,but thier kids may have a chance to not be what thier parents are. I put this site up in Disability issues and Activism so it won't dissapear.
It's a big site with alot of stuff.
http://ttfuture.org/services/bonding/main.htm

[MuseRider]

1. I do not understand

why people can not see what is lacking and become determined not to repeat the mistakes that hurt them.

I came from that kind of background. I can't remember one single hug from my parents nor did they ever say that they loved us. They were cold and violent. If they were raising kids these days they would have been jailed and we would have been taken far, far away.

I and the oldest of my two younger brothers turned out to be compassionate people because we were determined not to be like that. My youngest brother was as bad if not worse than my parents.

You have to want to be better and I think that must have to come from outside your family. No answers here. I simply do not understand how anyone who is a part of this culture can't at least see that there is a better way to live and become determined to be that way. It is just so very sad.

Now, I will go back and read some more. I just felt the need to get that off my chest. :)

[xxqqqzme]

2. when was that published?

sounds like it is talking about 'boomers'. It is boomers' parents that were detached from parenting(somewhat). It is the boomers' grandparents that were more detached as parents.

Boomers' kids R the parents now.

[murielm99]

5. Not necessarily.

Many boomers were raised by parents who read Dr. Spock. Later, when boomers protested the war and questioned the values of the preceding generation, Dr. Spock got the blame. Our parents had raised us "permissively."

If our parents had not read those awful Spock baby books, the criticism went, we boomers would have turned out to be proper little robots, respectful of authority.

[mopinko]

3. just skimmed this but

i believe all of this. that is one reason why, after having my first kid in the hospital, i had the next 4 at home. the philosophy of the docs was- this is a finely tuned process, honed over millenia. it is complex, and also vital. (it is also programmed to feel good. mmmm, babies.)
so, we went with the flow. it was great.

[_TJ_]

4. Just been reading this

This is a COOL article. I really believe millions of children
are being damaged every day by cruel, unloving and sometimes
just incompetant parents.

Religion, social mores, idiotic child-raising fads etc all play
a part in this too.

[cynatnite]

6. I'm not sure what you think is wrong

You weren't very clear about what you meant by the title of this thread so I have no idea what it is you are looking for.

What years do you consider that child-rearing was more authoritarian?

The webpage was okay, but much of it common sense. I disagreed with aspects of it when it comes to post partum bonding. I wonder if the author has ever spent time in a labor & delivery ward. Breastfeeding has always been encouraged from the doctor's office, to the hospital, WIC and welfare services. The benefits are just too numerous to mention and far outweigh any negative.

Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but it seems to me this person has no real first hand knowledge of how mothers are encouraged to breastfeed.

Also, the author wasn't specific in regards to what is meant by institutional care.

There is some merit to some of this, but I have to say that parts of it are just insane. Breastfeeding until a baby is 2.5 years is rare at best. I agree with breastfeeding longer than what is recommended, but 2.5 is just too long for most mom's.

There is no way in hell that you will find many parents willing to carry a baby continuously for a year during the day. Sorry, but that's unrealistic and crazy.

I don't see how a person can elminate ALL pain and punishment from the infant/child. The author was specific in saying that the intentional must be removed, but even then with the rate children grow and mature, I'd say this person asks the impossible.

"4. Society must support the emerging sexuality of children and youth and support them in the natural expression of their inherent sexuality that is free from exploitation and punishment."

I'm not exactly sure what the author means by this. It's too general and doesn't say much.

Overall, I found the article based on fantasy and not real life. More encouragement to breastfeed and for longer, prenatal care and natural childbirth except when the life of the mother or child is at risk are some of the things I do agree with.

But what I don't agree with is constant and instant comforting, continuous carrying and other recommendations. I keep picturing a spoiled brat that has no idea what limits mean.

To me, some of these recommendations seem more harmful rather than helpful to a child.