So How Is Chimpy Going to Embarrass Us at the Pope's Funeral?

[maxrandb]

I'm getting a bad feeling about this. He already snubbed former President Carter. But I was wondering how he could further embarrass the United States of America. I know, him simply showing up is enough of an embarrassment for most folks. Here's my short list. Please add to it.

- Get in a shoving match with the Swiss Guard about one of his Secret Service Agents being asked to stand down.

- Pick his nose on international television.

- Fall asleep

- Thank the Pope for his help in supporting tax cuts for the wealthy.

- Show up wearing a green parka with a fur lined hood.

- Wear a baseball cap that says Commander in Cheif on it.

- Use the distraction of the pope's funeral to launch an attack on Iran.

- Thank Italy vice the Vatican for their hospitality.

- Use it as an opportunity to talk about provatizing Social Security

- Compare the election of the next pope to an "up or down" vote in the Senate for judges.

- Parachute in under a Mission Accomplished Banner.

- Look under the Cardinals robes and joke about "WMD having to be around here somewhere"

I know some of these aren't that good, but I wanted and needed some DU humor today. What can you come up with?

[HeeBGBz]

1. Bush sticks a whoopie cushion in the casket - Condi giggles.

Do Popes get caskets or tombs or what's that basement thing where they stack the skulls??? Catacombs, yeah.

[Blue Belle]

17. I read in an article yesterday...

That they are buried in 3 coffins - one wood, one zinc, and then another wood - to delay decomposition. This Pope has also requested that he is to be buried in the ground.

[JHB]

21. That's how he'll embarass us...

...he'll ask "Which parts are going to go in which casket?"

[Blue Belle]

23. He'd probably ask for the Pope's heart...

That way if one of those nosy reporters implied that he was without one, he could show them that it was in fact, not true.

I'm sorry.. this thread is bringing out an ugly, morbid, side of me. Maybe it's just this President in general that is doing it... six in one, half dozen in the other.

[etherealtruth]

2. Would have been funny if...

it wasn't highly likely that imbecile * would do what you indicated or worse...
I have no sense of humor when it comes to the asinine things that jackass does.

[Clark2008]

3. By showing up. n/t

[Ganja Ninja]

5. That's really all it takes. n/t

[Democrat 4 Ever]

4. He'll ask the Cardinals if he can have the Pope's hat since John Paul II

won't be needing it anymore. Big red hat making the small little weasel feel about two feet taller. He could forget the CIC insignia and just have GOD embroidered on it - title much more fitting to his self image. The base ball cap just isn't doing it anymore. He wants headgear that everybody will recognize in a nanosecond. Besides, he and his party want to be the moral leaders of a country...doesn't that make you gag?...he needs the uniform. He'll skip the robes 'cause they would be too hot clearing brush at the ranchette.

[Atlas Mugged]

6. Bush pukes on the Pope's corpse!!!!

Not that all your's aren't great, but it would be appropriate for him to keep his father's legacy alive.


edited so it couldn't be quoted out of context.

[Catfight]

7. By never showing up at an American soldiers funeral. nt

[annabanana]

8. He'll elbow his way to the front of the line so he's always on camera..n/t

[northzax]

9. by pointing out that he's going to Hell

since he never accepted Jesus Christ as his personal saviour...

[fryguy]

10. you forgot Poland!

linking the pope to Poland and thanking him for helping fight terrorists and "evil doers"

[dhinojosa]

31. LMAO! Good One. n/t

[signmike]

11. Does the Vatican have a rose garden?

You know -- a place where he can park his 700 SUVs

Oops, excUUse ME! where He can park His :puke:

[RubyDuby in GA]

12. Ok, I've been away for a couple of day, how

did he snub President Carter?

Just curious, as I think that JC could walk on water if he wanted to........

[maxrandb]

30. Did Not Include a Former President in the Delegation to

Attend the Funeral. Apparently the delegation is limited to 5. Guess Air Force One is smaller than I thought. Anyway, he's taking Pickles (Laura Bush) and Kinda-Sleezie Rice, but not a FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

Interesting tidbit. I have a quote from Woody Hayes on my sig-line. Woody was a die-hard Republican. Not a Neo-con, but a man that you could respect and disagree with. He was also a Naval Officer.

Anyway, Ohio State was getting ready to play the O.J. Simpson led USC Trojans in the Rose Bowl. Former Democratic President Harry Truman had passed away and Woody was at a press conference with USC coach McKay. Coach McKay got up and did the usual X's and O's type talk. Woody got up and went into a 15 minute dissertation on the life and triumphs of President Truman. Apparently, there was not a dry eye in the room when Woody was done. A reporter asked Woody why he, a staunch Republican, had spoken so eloquently about Truman, Woody said;

"Dag-nammit, a former President of the United States had died and not one person was saying a word about it. I wasn't going to let that stand"

Woody's Buckeyes held OJ to 61 yards in the Rose Bowl and Woody won his 4th National Championship. Hours after the game Woody left with the game film and arrived in Vietnam. He visited with troops and showed the Rose Bowl game on the sides of transport trucks all over Vietnam.

That's how you respect yourself and a former president. Taking the Dominatrix??? The Pope will probably roll over in his casket.

[Dulcinea]

40. No, he had to take both his wife & his girlfriend.

I could see taking Laura, but Condi? WTF?

A Nobel Laureate gets left out in the cold so Boy George can take his girlfriend?

[Crankie Avalon]

13. While viewing the body lying in state, gives in to his fetish and...

...removes Pope's hat to rub corpse's bald head "once last time...for luck."

[adigal]

14. Probably try to push ahead of the Pope's body

like he did getting out of the door at Clinton's library dedication.

[GreatCaesarsGhost]

15. he stands up and starts shouting in tongues

like woodward says jr* did in the oval office.

[Yupster]

16. I was hoping Cheney would go

He always knows just exactly what to wear.

I'd say bermuda shorts and a tank shirt for a papal funeral.

[Arkana]

18. Dumbass

He'll wear a beer helmet and a DKE sweater, and it'll make Pickles and Condi giggle with glee. Clinton will probably try to sit away from them because he doesn't want to be infected with Idiot Disease.

[Blue Belle]

19. He'd walk up to the Pope's Coffin...

lean over, and start yelling, "So I'm the Anti-Christ Eh? Yeah.. if you're so holy, how come you're dead?? I told you the Lord chose me to reign... and here I am - still living. Who's the one who's Dead here Pope?! How you like me now Pope-boy?? How you like me now??"

[radwriter0555]

20. He's going to be disrespected and ignored by every state leader on the

planet.

NO one will talk to him, or want to sit next to him.

[earth mom]

22. How? In every way possible. eom

[anarchy1999]

24. We are repeatedly stunned at some new gaffe, you know, it's the

"just when you think you've seen it all" mentality.

I have no way of guessing, I just know we can all bank on it. We'll just have to wait and see and hope it's not too bad (or hope that it is).

I'm not surprised that Carter isn't going, I don't think he likes Bush, Inc. very much.

[AzDar]

25. Chokes on communion wafer... tips over, pisses pants. eom

[ElaineinIN]

26. All the kneeling is for some lesser person

I do hope someone gives him a little lesson in how to participate in Catholic mass. I don't think he can take communion, although it wouldn't surprise me if he tried.

Is anyone in the "delegation" Catholic, btw?

[cheezus]

42. That's it, he won't realize he can't take communion

and he will, which will spark a major controversy, which will lead to public catholic hating in this country

[Javaman]

27. I think he'll make one of many of his trademark weird facial expressions.

I think his boss rove dressed him down to keep him inline and not do anything weird.

[malta blue]

28. 5 year old fears W

My five year old daughter asked who was going to be the "boss" of the church. I told her there would be a vote. She put on her best pout and said "I hope they don't pick Bush".

BTW, Bush will be unable to pronounce the word POPE

[Lisa]

33. she makes an excellent point! That's exactly what could happen ...

... if the cardinals use Diebold voting machines!

[Blue Belle]

29. In a fair and just world...

Bush would melt into a boiling puddle once he dipped his finger into the holy water upon entering the Cathedral (ala the wicked witch in the "Wizard of Oz").

[Lisa]

32. just like at that Texas memorial service -- wiggling his eyebrows

He thought it would be hilarious to get a rise out of the campaign reporters in '99, by mugging for the cameras. At the time, he was supposed to be paying his respects to several people who'd been gunned down in a church.

[mohinoaklawnillinois]

34. At the Funeral Mass on Friday, he'll be squirming all over the pew

and whispering to Pickles, why is this taking so long and what language is that they're speaking.

BTW, I heard the High Mass is going to take something like three hours to complete and it's being said in Latin.

He's such an asshat!!!!

[maxrandb]

37. I Think That if the Mass is in Latin

He'll say, "I know that language, that's what they speak in Latin America". "See, Como es ta?"

[proud2BlibKansan]

35. He'll probably get that silver hammer

and hit the pope on the head or ask to smash the papal ring.

[fryguy]

36. an answer to your question, in photo form

[anarchy1999]

41. A pic is worth a thousand words, along with Andy Card next to

Condi in the delegation of "5". What happened? ANDY CARD AND CONDI and no Jimmy Carter. Apparently Carter has distanced himself from the "power brokers".

[moondust]

38. Smell of hog manure. n/t

[unhappycamper]

39. fryguy hit it on the head - showing up does the trick