Peace Prizes for Everyone! Felber Investigates!

[AmericanErrorist]

I was watching MSNBC last night, and the always-smiling Joe Scarborough came on to do his show, this one clearly geared towards offering up the hard-news premise that Terri Schiavo Should Live! One guest that Joe was particularly looking forward to was "Nobel Prize-nominated neurologist, Dr. William Hammesfahr." Hammesfahr, who was nominated for a Nobel Prize in 1999, is very much in the news lately. See, the Nobel Prize-nominated doctor has examined Terri Schiavo, finds her to have a lot more compos in her mentis than her husband gives her credit for, and believes he can help her. And he was nominated for a Nobel Prize, as Joe Scarborough pointed out every time he brought up the name.

So it was a little disturbing for us all when the Nobel Prize-nominated neurologist came on and seemed, well, a little bit wacky. Clearly, all Scarborough wanted from him was some sage pronouncements about how the court-appointed doctors' evaluations of Terri Schiavo might be inaccurate. But the good doctor (who was, in 1999, nominated for a Nobel Prize), went a bit farther than that. In fact, he went on to assert that Terri Schiavo didn't have a heart attack in the first place, that her parents had told her not to go home with her husband that night...

"Wait a minute," said Scarborough, with the leery look of a man who sees his interview starting to come off the rails. "You're not suggesting that Michael Schiavo was trying to murder his wife?"

Yes. Yes, the Nobel-nominated doctor was suggesting just that. He began to elaborate as Scarborough's eyes darted from side to side as though they were looking for a convenient way to escape his face. The interview ended shortly afterwards.

That's when Adam Felber, satirist, turned into Adam Felber, investimagative reporter. Using a state-of-the-art research tool known as "Google," I was able to uncover what had escaped the attention of the crack team of investimagators at MSNBC.

First, visiting the Nobel Prize's own website, I discovered that names of actual nominees for the Prize are "kept secret for 50 years." A couple of phone calls and some in-depth mathematical work helped me calculate that 1999 was in fact less than 50 years ago. What was going on here?

Further investigation produced this: From Hammesfahr's website, the actual nomination. It was written by his Congressman and friend, Representative Michael Bilirakis (R., FL).

My favorite detail is the first sentence, wherein Bilirakis submits Hammesfahr "for the Nobel Peace Prize in Medicine." Clearly, Hammesfahr is underbilling himself - he was actually nominated for two Nobel Prizes in the same year. In the same sentence, to be precise, which is probably some sort of record.



http://www.felbers.net/mt/archives/001016.html

[progressivejazz]

1. LOL

Great detective work. Of course the freeper types won't understand it.

"In the same sentence, to be precise". Funny as hell.

[JDPriestly]

2. LOL