Trial Begins in California Girl's Killing

[jeanarrett]

http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/03/22/runnion.trial.ap/index.html

I remember reading about this four years ago and now the new case in Florida. The heartbreaking part about this (for me) was that they connected the DNA from what they believe were the little girl's 'tears' found in the suspect's car. I cried when I read that.

What can we do to protect our children from these monsters!? The bogey man is real! I have five children (four of whom are girls 14 and under) and this is my worst nightmare!

[tubbacheez]

1. And an awful nightmare it is.

The age-old advice of not talking to strangers is spot on.




It's scary no doubt, but try keep things in perspective. The vast majority of child abductions are not committed by total strangers. The bulk are performed by someone the child already knows.


The best defense, in my humble opinion, is to carefully build your web of trust. And demonstrate that sense of caution to children. They pick up more of our behavior than they let on.

[jeanarrett]

2. I do discuss it with them when something new comes up.

I don't want them to be afraid of every little shadow, but I want them afraid enough to be aware. I've also told them that statistics show that once you're in a car or whatever, you're pretty much a goner, so fight, scratch, bite, kick, scream, yell, hit, kill if they can. They have nothing to lose at that point. What a sad thing to have to teach your kids.

[tubbacheez]

5. I'm somewhat neutral on the subject.

Now, I'm extremely hesitant to spoil the innocence of childhood. I had a great childhood myself, and I love seeing kids today experiencing something similar.

That said, I don't want to artificially preserve that innocence either. Everybody's life is different. And if life puts a scary thing in front of my child, then it's my job to guide him through it.

I won't resist or resent the fact that some children don't have to deal with it just yet.




I taught my kids a simple drill for danger. When they're with me, at my signal, they get behind me and stay quiet and alert. When I'm not there, if they sense something amiss, it's Get Away and Get Help... in that order.

Also, I never make fun of their imaginings. No sense dulling their intuition, even when it's erroneous. We always talk it out and at most I might give a tip or two about what to do next time.

[libertypirate]

3. Sure but don't ever forget Franklin cover-up ...

[jeanarrett]

4. That's almost a worse fate. . . wouldn't you say? n/t

[libertypirate]

8. The worst fate...

It needs to end...

[LeftyMom]

6. What about a self defense class?

There are classes geared toward younger kids that focus more on abduction prevention and then classes for older girls that focus more on fighting off potential rapists. Maybe something like that would help?

I do think it's important to focus on likely dangers first, make sure the kids are safe in the car, feed them good food, get thier checkups regularly, etc. Make sure they know they can tell you if a friend or family member does something inappropriate, as that's much more likely than a stranger abduction. Talk about drugs, including legal ones like alcohol and let them know you'll always come get them no questions asked if they or thier ride are drinking.

My stepdaughter's almost a teenager, it's a scary time, isn't it?

[tubbacheez]

7. Some self-defense sites I recommend for initial research.

I've been involved with martial arts most of my life and have worked with many types of clientele (small people, large people, disabled people, children, pacifists, angry dangerous types, etc.).


Here are two sites that have a very practical mindset on self-defense.

http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/

http://www.rad-systems.com/
http://www.radkids.org/




A decent place to start reading, if anyone's so inclined.

[jeanarrett]

9. I agree with all of you... my fear is that our children do not

think it will ever happen to them.

When I was 13 and growing up in a small (500 people) town in Michigan, my cousin and I managed to get away from a man who tried too "grab" us. He was intent on his mission. We physically ripped an elderly neighbor's screen door off to get help, screaming all the way. My mother heard us three blocks away and decided it was not "cats fighting" and drove down the street to find us. Too late, he was gone, and we were forever changed.

[tubbacheez]

10. Well, that's one of the biggest and most difficult challenges...

... in anybody's life: accurate risk assessment.


Many adults don't do it very well, either.


There are subtle but important differences between knowing what CAN happen to you, knowing what COULD LIKELY happen to you, and knowing what WILL happen to you.

Insurance companies and professional gamblers use statistical tables up the wazoo. And they still place the wrong bets on many occassions.

One weird thing about life is that there are no guarantees. Things cannot be guaranteed to go well, nor can they be guaranteed to go horribly.

Learning to make operational judgments about the massive gray area in between is key to living, I tend to think.




For individuals, including children, the lessons should begin early and never fully stop. Clearly, kids should begin with the easier and more obvious lessons first, but tackle trickier material as they grow and become ready for them.

Improving one's judgment on a continual basis is part of the maturing process, in my humble opinion.




In your story, yes, you were forever changed... and quite suddenly too. You survived to tell the tale, and you learned something about risk assessment.

I'm not saying these things are always going to be comfortable, but just as things could always have been better, so too could thing have turned out worse.

Glad you're here to post about it, though. Well done.