I've decided to start selling worthless crap to Americans.

[Bouncy Ball]

Why? They'll buy it.

I'm now understanding how companies can sell worthless, sometimes even dangerous "diet pills" in infomercials. And make tons of money doing it.

I'm understanding how America fell for the war in Iraq.

I'm understanding JUST how EASY it is to whip Americans up into a fear-filled frenzy over just about ANYTHING.

I'm understanding why crazy mass-forwarded emails with scary but untrue urban legends are so popular and why they don't die when rational people respond with factual rebuttals.

I've seen, in the media and in real life, TONS of people say that someone with no cerebral cortex can get up, walk around and talk with the proper "treatment." I've seen and heard people saying the brain can be re-grown.

Anyone with even a rudimentary understanding of what the cc is responsible for in humans has got to have a mind-boggling moment to discover that people in the year 2005 actually believe that. And would ARGUE it, no less.

I have finally and completely decided that people will believe ANYTHING.

Which means they'll buy anything and fall for anything.

It explains wealthier than God televangelists and megachurch preachers. It explains the cheap crap that keeps getting manufactured and SOLD, despite being nothing more than cheap crap. It explains the snake oil salesmen of the days of old, but I guess I thought humans had evolved a bit since then. I was wrong.

I will never again be shocked at the level of ignorance in human beings. Ever. As far as we've come, most people still don't have a basic grasp of facts. And even when that lack is pointed out, they don't seek out information to learn more.

I received a forwarded email a while back about how deoderant causes breast cancer in women. The woman who sent it to me was completely panicked. She had forwarded it to fifty other women, including me. I sent the debunking of it to her entire to: list.

Instead of reading it, instead of saying "whew, glad to know THAT!" she GRIPED ME OUT. Not for hitting reply all, but apparently for destroying her fun little fearful fantasy. How DARE I introduce FACTS into this fear fest? FEAR IS FUN!!!!

BUT. I have been encouraged. I've noticed lots of DUers in the last week or so who have gone from believing the MSM lies about Schiavo, to learning about it for themselves and coming to their own conclusions.

Which means I need to be sure to target my marketing to republicans. Especially of the freeper variety. And have everything I sell in red, white, and blue and preferably with Jesus' face on it. Nationalism and the marketing of religion equals BLING BLING!!!!

[davidinalameda]

1. too late

we already have Wal-Mart

[katsy]

4. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:thumbsup:

[Bouncy Ball]

7. DAMN.

BUT the WILLFUL ignorance of Americans is a deep, deep abyss. I'm sure there's room for another infomercial in there somewhere.

I'm gonna make the bucks!

/sarcasm off (that last line)

[Hugin]

22. I'll *buy* that Bouncy! n/t

[greyl]

46. and...

the MR. ;)


edit: Great post, Bouncy Ball!

[Dr.Phool]

64. I'm going to market Viagra for women!

Now, what do I want to make bigger?

[SoCalDem]

75. wallets

:)

[LynneSin]

2. That or you could become a Adperson for a Pharmaceutical company

I had a sick day about 3 weeks ago where I actually watched a movie on the Hallmark channel. By the end of the movie I swore I had bad breath, asthma, psiorsis, toe fungus and erectial penis dysfunction from all the freakin pharmaceutical adds I was watching

[Bouncy Ball]

9. Now how did YOU have erectile penis dysfunction?

LOL!

Wait....maybe *I* do and I just don't know it!!!1

AAAAAHHHH!!!!!

[LynneSin]

I have no idea but somehow that TV ad convinced me I did

And who cares if what I take causes death or rectal leakage - I need to cure myself now if I'm expected to be a happy functional part of society!

[Harlequin]

45. your posts are convincing me I am by osmosis!

[tavalon]

81. That's the same tack

the cosmetics industry has been using for years. Come to think of it, they market most things by appealing to our worthlessness and desire to be worthy.

[BR_Parkway]

92. Including religion - you've summed it up in the neatest nutshell ever n/t

[Calvinist Basset]

94. Wait just a minute . . .

That's not a fair comment.

Millions of religious people--including myself--understand their draw to faithfulness as a celebration of life, an affirmation of all that is good, and a reverence for divine mysteries. It is not about making one feel guilty or worthless at all.

Granted, there are groups and individuals out there who **misuse** religion to do as you claim. But let's lift some criticism against them and their misguided philosophies, not against religion in general.

[Karenina]

77. Props to ya, BB!!!

Your OP says it all. :toast: :loveya: :toast:

[AnneD]

79. After reading our email aloud one day, Hubby and I decided.......

I am content with his breast size, and he thinks my penis is just the right size.

[Zuni]

3. I'm going to market Terri Schiavo merchandise

Just plop a pic of Terri, some bible quotes on a sheet and sell it in red states. Instant cash!

[Bouncy Ball]

11. DUers are going to make and market

Jeez-Its.

Like Cheez-Its only in the shape of Jesus' head.

They're gonna sell like HOTCAKES!!!!

The marketing of Jesus is coooooool.

[greyl]

49. Cheeses of Nazereth nt

[pelagius]

108. What a friend we have in cheeses. n/t

[JerseygirlCT]

78. LOL!!!!

[Tsiyu]

83. LMAO, spit on the damn screen...

You'ns are cracking me up.

Bouncy Ball, this is the same thing a mountain man said to me right after the election. I mean, all you gotta do is insert "Jeebus" or "Christyun" in your ads and they will flock to you in droves. Tell them:

"Jeebus speaks through the Bouncy Ball. He wants you to buy many Jeez-Its so that unborn babies are not murdered and boys don't marry each other. And may God Bless 'Murka. Now gimme your money. And Bless you too!"

[Griffy]

21. You'll make a FORTURE .. Terri doll sits up in bed and talks!

yes.. U can nurse the doll back to health.. !! clean her bedpan and give her sponge baths, pray real hard... she will talk again and thank you for saving her from the liberal death squads of plug pullers and baby killers!

Comes with adjustable hospital bed Terri Schiavo doll for the low low price of $49.95.. and with each purchase a donation is made to support our culture of life defender president! Act now, supplies are limited! ...

[Democracy White]

52. LOL! That is just too funny!!

[Harlequin]

48. Yes: A t-shirt, bearing republican symbols with a picture of Terri front

and the slogan "Freedom is On the March".

[sui generis]

5. Here's my first product: the feeding tube lock!

(oh can I really be this evil?)

We'll sell 'em right next to the duct tape and plastic sheeting to be prepared for the end of the world.

NOW, get your deeeeluxe patriotic feeding tube lock made from unbreakable titanium and painted in bold patriotic colors. . .

[Bouncy Ball]

12. Yes, definitely red white and blue.

And maybe it could come with a

FREE AMERICAN FLAG ON A STICK!!!

[Radio-Active]

37. like this?

http://benquirer.blogspot.com/2005/03/latest-gop-prop-unveiled.html

[sui generis]

42. Here you go - rapid product development turnaround

Now we just need to photoshop it into appropriate patriotic colors.

[Donailin]

60. LOL! I'm gonna sell personal accounts for retirement.

Just give the 7.5 percent to me folks, I'll make sure it's there with interest in 20-50 years because I'm gonna invest it generis' feeding tube lock company. <g>

[Bill McBlueState]

6. no critical thinking skills

Nice rant -- I nominated it!

The lack of critical thinking skills is the thread running through all the stupid things we have to put up with in this country. People will believe anything if it makes them feel right.

[flamin lib]

23. Conservative mind control

“Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are
conservative.”. — John Stuart Mill

Conservative Mind Control or
Three Word Syndrome

When discussing the differences between Liberals and Conservatives you cannot ignore the use of language as an effective method of mind control. Over the past five decades the Conservative leadership has subtly and incrementally reduced the ability of many followers to assimilate full sentences as well as most multi-syllabic words. Once this reached critical mass it became very easy to manipulate those who label themselves as “Conservative” with simple but catchy phrases. Conservative voters have effectively been rendered functionally illiterate.

Critical thinking and well reasoned argument were once highly prized in our leadership, but since the mid 1950‘s political discourse has dwindled from lofty oratory to three word monosyllabic sloganeering. Take, for instance, the Republican tendency to oversimplify the most complex issues into a lapel button. Consider the following: Nancy Reagan’s response to escalating drug use by poor inner-city youth was “Just say no.” George Bush senior’s “No new taxes,” as a response to a floundering economy and George Bush Jr’s justification for squandering the largest surplus in history was a simple “It’s your money.” “Dead or alive” comes to mind as well as “Bring it on” and “Roadmap to Peace“. The most inane of the many examples is Gerald Ford. When the nation was faced with an economy in such dire straits that a new word, Stagflation, had to be invented he responded with “Whip Inflation Now” which got shortened even beyond three words to mere letters on a lapel button: WIN. Finally there is the soon to be legendary “The People’s Mandate.”

George Bush Senior’s ability to make extended public speeches without uttering a cohesive sentence is well documented. Read any of his press conferences for evidence of non-sensicle and unintelligible verbiage repeated to the faithful by the media without comment. His son has taken that skill to new heights with memorable quotes like “Iraq is a catastrophic success.” What the hell does that mean? The skillful use of sloganeering by Republicans has successfully reduced the attention span of Conservatives to the point that they can no longer absorb more than three words, hence they didn’t fully comprehend the complete absurdity of that sentence. Their brains have been trained to stop hearing after “Iraq is a . . .”

Perhaps this explains how middle class conservatives have been duped into voting against their own self interest and that of our country at large. When Bush said, “I’ll cut taxes,” they stopped listening and missed the part about “on the wealthy and corporations while screwing everyone earning under $200,000.” Perhaps this is why when Senator John Kerry gave great detailed explanations of his Iraq strategy the Republicans could get away with saying that he had no plan. Conservatives stopped hearing after “I have a . . . “ and were content with the Republican response of “Kerry’s a flip-flopper.” Three words.

In fact, the current administration has gone even beyond Lapel Button speak. At every event there is a sign or banner behind the President proclaiming the slogan o’day, often draped in Red, White and Blue flag motif. Mission Accomplished. Tax Relief. Protect Our Seniors. Support the Troops. It isn’t even necessary to listen to the sound bite anymore, it is subliminally implanted through the retina!

There have been orators of great stature brought low for using too many words. We had the greatness of “Four score and seven years ago our Fathers . . .” Too long, they shot that poor bastard. Then there was “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country . . .” Too many words so they shot that fellow too. Or how about “Other men see things as they are and ask, ‘Why?’. I dream things that never were and ask, ‘Why not?’” He too was shot for being verbally over budget. Finally we have “It’s the economy, Stupid.” One word over budget and he was hounded for 8 years with a $70 million investigation into his business and personal life. If he’d only stopped at “It’s the economy.”

The current Bush Administration has used this to good advantage. Anytime they don’t want to have their supporters know they are being screwed they offer policy speeches. Take Medicare reform for example. By giving a major policy speech detailing how drug companies will be protected from competition, insurance rates will increase and the level of care decrease the conservatives simply could not absorb any of the true details. They stopped absorbing sound after “My fellow Americans . . .” Had he described his health care initiative in Lapel Button Speak it would have been, “Don’t get sick.”

So it is that oratory and rational thought is replaced by “plain spokeness”. It is no longer important what a politician says as long as it is homey and non threatening to a mouth breathing sixth grade graduate from an under-funded rural school. It is, however, essential to have a hick drawl, a healthy mix of malapropisms and to speak in three word phrases. The two Bushes have proven that in makes no difference what is said as long as the functionally illiterate feel comfortable with it.

With this in mind I submit that for Liberals to regain the majority position in government we must reduce our word count.

It will be difficult to convey some of our more complicated initiatives in only three words but if we choose our vocabulary carefully we may be able to stretch Conservative’s attention span to four words and with time perhaps five or even more. The leaders of the Conservative movement have done all the hard work for us, all we need to do is capitalize on it.

When we want to get support for involving other countries in training Iraqi soldiers and police inside their own secure borders and soliciting yet other countries to fund that training we only have to change one word in Bush’s Lapel Button Speak strategy. Go from “Stay the course,” to “Change the course.“ I can see a huge banner that says. “THE COURSE”. It makes absolutely no difference that conservatives don’t know what the course is or even if there is one as long as we claim to have one--it’s worked for Bush.

If we wanted to explain how to save Social Security by raising the cap on social security taxes from $90,000 we could distill it down to “Don’t worry, be happy.” We can drape a massive banner in the Red, White and Blue motif with “BE HAPPY” behind our candidate. How can anyone run against a campaign like “BE HAPPY”?

In time we could reduce the most complex policy concepts to simple and hypnotic do-wop lyrics. Just think how effective it would be have your campaign plan stuck in their heads, endlessly repeating, “DoWop, DoWop, DoUoUoUoUoooWop, Why do fools vote GOP . . .” (to the tune of Why do fools fall in love). We can even bring Martha and the Vandellas out of retirement for campaign consultants, they’ll work pretty cheap these days.

[centristo]

59. as dumb and/or irrational as they may be

we still lost the election.

You ever have one of those professors or teachers in school that was a world-renowned genius but you couldn't understand a single word they were saying? That's us. Smartest person in the room and nobody knows what the hell we're trying to say. It'd be a smarter move to produce a candidate most Americans can relate to and are comfortable with. If you don't know that most Americans are idiots then you aren't perceptive enough to be President.

But what comes down to is this:

The Democrats are too smart for their own good and the Republicans are too dumb for anyone's good.

[flamin lib]

68. Yep. Karl Rove said it this way:

"As people do better, they start voting like Republicans...
...unless they have too much education and vote Democratic,
which proves there can be too much of a good thing."

[Bouncy Ball]

80. Sorry, but that's bullshit.

People understand what I'm saying. But WILLFUL ignorance involves a person INTENTIONALLY not understanding. There isn't bupkus you can do about that!

[Tsiyu]

84. We won the election

Fair and square. It was stolen.

"Thou shalt not steal" only applies to us "little people" and "liberals," I guess, even though that's nowhere in MY bible.

Democrats are too good for their own good.
Republicans use their minds toward evil, they aren't dumb. They know exactly how their schemes will turn out. They've been perfecting them since before I was a wee babe.

But "The BIBLE" sez: everything Hidden will be revealed. Gannon/Guckert is a fine example of this. Stay tuned...:evilgrin:

[AVID]

8. Welcome to the show!!!

[quinnox]

10. Recommended

It's the American way!

[Norquist Nemesis]

13. OMG!!! I see a cross in my tiled floor!!!

*off to sell on Ebay!*

[Bouncy Ball]

14. Make a rubbing of it, take a picture of it

and call your local news station FAST!!!!!!!!

Print tickets, sell popcorn, set up lawn chairs and velvet ropes and start ushering people in at $3 a head to SEE IT!!!!

(God. The sad thing is, as much as I am kidding, people WOULD DO IT.)

[Norquist Nemesis]

20. Now there's a mirror image of it on my patio doors!!!

*rubs hands* I could sure use the money, but my morals and values just don't go that route.

I agree. There are plenty that would do it. Saw on this morning's local news about someone who put and chicken egg up for sale that had a cross on it. It's gone so far past the point of ridiculous!

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

15. You could call your company....General Motors.

And sue the Japanese for undercutting your profits by selling products that work.

[Ripley]

16. So far the repukes have capitalized on the Mass Confusion...

caused by deliberate misinformation from MSM and just plain old information overload from the Internet and advertising Hell thrust upon Americans constantly in our mailboxes, telephones, streets and stores. There is so much crap on the floors and sticking out of the shelves of food at the grocery store I can barely find anything...it's like wading through land mines.

The combination of information overload and the Sinister Government's manufactured fear around every rose bush has Americans living in a state of high anxiety. But wah-lah! They simply push pharmaceuticals and over-medicate Americans, which in turn mellows them out so they don't worry about the details.

Dumbed down and downered-out many Americans have given in to the Fantasy Life...one where they immerse themselves in Television, Religion, Celebrity worship, Pornography, Gaming or other alternate realities.

Sad.

[GOPisEvil]

17. H.L. Mencken

No one ever went broke underestimating the stupidity of Americans.

[Bouncy Ball]

18. I'm about to get rich

correctly estimating it!

Le sigh.

[BiggJawn]

24. H. L. Mencken was too charitable.

I sometimes feel that Humanity is the biggest fucking waste of Protein ever devised.

[joytomme]

82. The last sentence is best

What I like about the H.L. Mencken quote is the last sentence: "No one in this world has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby."

The White House fascists are banking on the stupidity of the American people.

But...here's what will bring them down: The majority of the people who vote are not stupid. They may be gullible...but once their eyes are opened...as in the case of Joe McCarthy and Richard Nixon, the voters' inate good sense prevails.

Ratfuck Diary (http://ratfuckdiary.blogspot.com)

[AirAmFan]

19. Corporate marketing beat you to the punch AND has lowered already abysmal

ethical standards to take advantage of America's dumbing down. Over the last few years, have you noticed how

----many TV commercials and mailed-out flyers no longer tell you the PRICE of what they're selling? They say, "Try it FREE for 30 days for only $19.95 shipping and handling" in the ad. Then they can bill you for whatever amount they want.

--downgrading of a service has been turned into a SELLING POINT, Karl-Rove style? My favorite example is Blockbuster's "No More Late Fees" campaign. What they're really up to is EARLY BILLING for many times the median sales price of the DVD.

[BiggJawn]

25. Magic 9-11 Teddy Bears!

Everybody want at least 20-30 of them! Established importers of this cheap Chinese shit can't keep up! The sky's the Limit!

[salvorhardin]

26. You know... I have to wonder

Instead of reading it, instead of saying "whew, glad to know THAT!" she GRIPED ME OUT. Not for hitting reply all, but apparently for destroying her fun little fearful fantasy. How DARE I introduce FACTS into this fear fest? FEAR IS FUN!!!!

I have to wonder... Does exposure to constant fear memes in the MSM induce a neurochemical dependency in the brain akin to addiction? Sometimes it seems like that. It's as if many people have to have their daily dose of fear (or at least low-level anxiety) or they start exhibiting withdrawl symptoms. Try to deny them access to their daily scare and they attack you like a junkie being denied their fix.

[Bouncy Ball]

27. I've had that theory bumping around in my head for a couple of

years now, especially when I notice the all-out hostile reaction to debunking myths, thus potentially eliminating certain fears.

It's like fear is a HIGH to them. Makes them feel VITAL, ALIVE.

[salvorhardin]

31. Same here...

Actually, the idea hit me when reading Shea and Wilson's Illuminatus! trilogy about 5 or so years ago. The idea of the fnord is very powerful and I can almost see how it could be operationalized. Obviously not actually indoctrinating little kids to subconsciously redact the word 'fnord' whenever they see it, but it's easy to see how all the little urban legends and modern-day fairy tales we're exposed to growing up could train us to have that little rush of adrenalin whenever we're exposed to similarly structured tales later on in life.*

So... what you gonna sell? I'll contribute sweat (digital, really) equity in the form of setting up and hosting an e-commerce site for just 10% of the take. Seriously. I'm all for facilitating the fools-money-separation process.

*Note: I don't actually think that's happening, but it is a helpful little lie I tell myself to make the pain in my head from trying to figure these people out go away.

[Patiod]

35. Debunking myths makes the sendee feel stupid

They want to feel smart - to be the ones who are providing important info for their friends. Debunking makes them feel dumb and ashamed, so they react to that - it has nothing to do with the actual facts.

I don't bother any more -- it accomplished what I REALLY wanted, which is to be taken off their stupid email lists, which send out crap.

[Democracy White]

55. Maybe

Fear is an adrenaline rush? People in America seem to have the need to be constantly excited. Correct me if I am wrong... I haven't had my cup of coffe yet and I don't know what I am talking about..

Dee

[sandnsea]

28. Creating Crises and Co-Dependency

Alcoholics create crises to divert attention away from their drinking. Co-Dependents like to fix the crises to raise their self-esteem and gain control; and they like the drama. The media is a big part of it because sensationalism makes money. But it's also caused the country to go a little insane.

[salvorhardin]

32. So... you're saying...

...that Republicans are like alcoholics (creating crises) and the Democrats are like co-dependents (trying to fix all the Republican crises)? :-)

[sandnsea]

43. No

I'm saying the Rep leadership creates crises to divert people from their real agenda. Their followers are the co-dependents who buy into the fake crises and demand fixes and help the crisis creators promote the crisis as a result.

The Democrats are the kids who stand around going wtf?? In trying to deal with the dysfunction, they break into varying factions and behaviors. Some try to reason, some throw fits, some deny, some hide, etc.

All I know is you have to get out of the crazy making rhetoric, stay highly focused, and move around the sickness to get to sanity.

[BeTheChange]

103. Memes..

I think memes are incredibly powerful. Im a fairly affluent- according to salary breakdowns Ive seen (which is scary in itself).. and most of my friends are doing pretty well themselves. However, 90% of the people I know are in therapy and going through a barrage of medicines to try to find a fix for affluenza.

I also find articles like this very interesting:
http://tinyurl.com/3v82r

I have these two theories. Number 1,we live in this society with so much stimulus we barely have time to process it all. Add a 70 hour workweek on top of that and you simply exist. You don't have time to think about Terri Schivaco or care about Bush's innane social security plan. We have lost our community, which is what keep up our interest in humanity. I feel like we are even losing our language in a way. Typed human communication cant substitute for actual human interaction. We will send an email to someone 20 ft away before we will walk over and deliver it personally.


Number 2, people really are becoming more mentally ill. And I use that term very losely. Perhaps the correct term would be societally unique. Memes reinforce this spiral. Nobody knows where to start fixing the colossal screw up that has become the human experiment.

Anyway, read Adbusteres, if you dont already.

[GiovanniC]

29. A Couple of Years Ago

My girlfriend's sister was talking about how people were going around to gas stations and putting hypodermic needles in the gas pump and giving people AIDS. It sounded like Snopes material, and indeed it was. But when I showed her how it wasn't true, I got BITCHED OUT BIG TIME. Why? Because it COULD have been true.

It wasn't true, but it COULD have been.

I recently got chewed because I responded to someone that Penny Brown was not missing. I was in a big argument about two years ago about how there is not a huge rash of people waking up in bathtubs filled with ice after having their organs stolen by organ-theives. I have debunked urban legend after email hoax after rumor after lie, and usually what I get is just people angry to learn the truth. So now I mostly keep my mouth shut and just roll my eyes and shake my head when these morons think that they will hatch cockroach eggs by licking an envelope or that forwarding an email will get them a $20 gift certificate to Red Lobster or GAP.

[Dr.Phool]

67. I got that the other day

About the Congressional Social Security e-mail.

I explained that Senator Byrd is 88 years old, and he married his wife right out of high school, so she is probably the same age. They will never collect all those riches (millions) unless they live to be like, 160 years old.

I also said that Congressional Reps and Senators DO pay into SS. They have a supplemental retirement plan that they pay into also.

But, who am I to argue with the internet and Readers Digest.

[catzies]

101. My experience too. People are angry when they learn the truth because

it means it was pointed out that they fell for something.

[LibertyorDeath]

30. Get a move on cause China's decades ahead of you already.

:)

Great Post BTW

[Poppyseedman]

33. Wow, you just now figured all this out.

Yup, your right.
Americans will buy or believe just about any swill you stick in front of their face as long as it smells good, looks good, tastes good or magically give them an erection.

Those rose colored glasses must have been on pretty tight

[Bouncy Ball]

36. Well, I DID know that people

will buy crap. I mean, obviously. Look at Wal-Mart.

But hello???? Believing you can talk and walk around without a cerebral cortex? Believing you can RE-GROW your fucking BRAIN?

I mean, why not just go back to wondering what shape the earth is? Why not just start believing the sun revolves around the earth?

That shit is just CRAZY. I was just blown away to discover ADULTS believe stuff like that.

[KarenS]

34. LOL,,,, all my friends & family have learned (from me) to check

Snopes before forwarding those emails :) I know this because they put it in the message!!!

[Patiod]

38. You also have the perfect media outlet to reach them - Faux News

Also, if you've noticed the amount of snake oil that's being sold on "Christian" radio, you'd know that a LOT of people have come to this decision before you.

[htuttle]

39. I read about a guy who made $3 million in one year...

...selling penis enlargement pills through email spam.

I say, go for it. Bottle up some 'miracle water' from your tap and go fleece some sheep. No reason the right wing should make all the easy money.

[ooglymoogly]

40. was it fellini's 'la dolce vita' that opened with a

giant jesus flying over rome and then pan up to the cable and rope and helicopter holding it, then moved to a scene of two children having a ball fooling the people, some on crutches, some crawling up a hill to where the children said they had seen the virgin mary, first here then there and giggling to one another with the paparazzi running around with them shoving a mike in there faces. it was a priceless intro to a film and epitomized the grotesqueness of religion and the stupidity of the people who are mesmerized by it and those who make their living off that stupidity.

[linazelle]

41. Local "news" (WI) just touted the wonders of dollar stores...

The clueless co-anchor bragged about her mother keeping dollar stores in business. Talk about worthless crap...

[trogdor]

50. Most of that stuff isn't worth a dollar - Seinfeld.

[hfojvt]

56. well, when someone pays me $1,000,000 to stand in front of a camera

for twenty minutes and say 'Yadda Yadda' then maybe I can shop at the $1000 stores too. Jerry Seinfeld, ya, there's a guy who knows and cares about the working class. His show could be used as another example of crap (juvenile humor) that sells.
Of course, I have seen every episode on re-run. I got over my shock at televised promiscuity and urine jokes.

[Harlequin]

44. In innovation of pop art is that the medium is the message...

and so it goes with anything that occurrs on TV, or on the shelves at stores. People tend to operate on a perception-as object-grab level that is absent of cognition, consulting one's intuition, or so forth.

I agree with these people. We are in stupid, stupid times.

[noonwitch]

47. It's kind of hard to beat the whole Pet Rock phenomenon

I could never understand that one, and think about how much money was made off of it.

[KitchenWitch]

51. Make sure you get a vendor account with Walmart

You can market the junk, and they will sell it.

[Selteri]

53. LOL And this changes what? NT

[Swamp Rat]

54. LOL!

I want to work in your research/design department. ;)

Since fear sells, how 'bout we do a "Rapture" line of clothing? For example, I can see t-shirts with burning buildings, dead people everywhere, charred American flag, and a few naked fundies ascending to Heaven, led by Pretzeldent Jayses. :D

[Bouncy Ball]

57. "Jeez-Its"

Like Cheez-Its, only with Jesus' face on them. Like a communion wafer stand-in when you can't make it to church!

Enjoy Jesus ANYTIME with JEEZ-ITS!!!

[Shredr]

58. Kick.

[Mabel Dodge]

61. This thread reminds me of a song

Fear Is Never Boring - The Bears 1987

mama's little baby likes fear and torture
mama's little darling likes violent sex
she thinks she's queen victoria
ridin' the pony express

oh no trouble now
are your nerves failing
don't come unglued
if your heart skips a beat
stay on your feet
don't throw that moment away

no no no no no no no yeah
feeling good ain't bein' happy
no no no no no no no yes
taking care ain't being there
I'm out on a limb where the fun begins
fear is never boring

I think I see a spark
hear voices in the dark
they tell me don't lose heart
stiff upper lip
stick to your guns
don't let 'er rip
don't throw that moment away

with consciousness barely floating
the slippery curve is approaching
my whole life flashed before I crashed
fear is never boring

[HamstersFromHell]

62. WARNING: YAHOO IS OUT OF USERNAMES!!!!!

If you right click this and send this out to all on your friend list, Yahoo will reserve your username. If you do not do this, your username will be deleted!

Oh fucking :puke:

I did the math, then replied to all (and the original sender) that if they bothered to do the math, Yahoo had enough possible combinations of acceptable characters to give every man, woman and child on the entire earth at least 1.75 Billion username. EACH. And that I was using 3, so anyone who felt shorted could have the 1,749,999,997 I wasn't using. But in reply I got told I knew nothing of what I spoke of and Yahoo was gonna do it.

The truth hurts some people. It denys them their little sense of "I'm doing good" even if they are spreading a totally misinformed lie.

Marketers love these people, as they are so damned gullible.

George Carlin said it best: "You nail together two things that have never been nailed together before, and some schmuck will buy it."

Great Rant, Bouncy!

[NuttyFluffers]

90. reminds me of the real brief marketing/sales lesson i had

20% of the people will always say no. it doesn't matter what you do, what you say, or whether a miracle itself happened, they'll always say no.

20% of the people will always say yes. it doesn't matter what you don't do, what you don't say, or whether all their hope and dreams are shattered, they'll always say yes.

that leaves 60% who on most days can actually be reasoned with, who can actually be shown stuff, who can actually listen to what you say. that is the group you work on. the support from that group will show your success as a marketer/seller.

and the funniest part about it is we all have our topics in which we fall out of the 60% and into the mindless 20% on the side.

ps: but i still like to think mostly rethuglicans are part of the 40% idiot fringe. :P

[Psst_Im_Not_Here]

63. Preach it baby!

I absolutely love this post!
:kick:

[yankeedem]

65. I thought about selling fundies Terri Schaivo memorabilia

But I have too much respect for the lady to sell it. But who can doubt that I'd make a fortune in lots of parts of the country?

I could create cheezy art of GW and Terri praying to Jaysus together. If you want the deluxe portrait ($995), Tom Delay will be in the picture too.

The picture should be on velvet. It MUST be on velvet. I would be rich in about 2 hours if I hit one of the megachurches outside Dallas with these on Sunday.

[jmowreader]

70. You mean something like this?

Except Terri Schiavo on the left and Tom DeLay on the right?

[yankeedem]

71. That's exactly what I was looking for, thanks!

nt

[Democracy White]

76. Where did you get this pic?

It's cheeeezy!

Dee

[jmowreader]

102. From watsonswildlife.com

And no, it's not cheezy.

This is a cheezy picture...



The Bush picture is Fucking Awful.

Please make a note of this.



Cheezy.



Fucking Awful.

Thus endeth the lesson.

[Democracy White]

110. LOL!! I stand corrected!!

You're right it is fucking awful, so sickingly sweet it makes my glucose level dangerously rise so high I swear that I can go into insulin shock just by staring at this.

Look, I consider myself somewhat patriotic but all of this fake mass induced "patriotism" is making me want to puke.


:puke:

Dee

[Solly Mack]

66. OK, but the Jesus air fresheners are mine!

;)

[sonicx]

69. LOL, you always make great posts.

[dxstone]

72. PRICELESS POST! (I'll buy THAT for a dollar!)

Bouncy, you are very very VERY funny!
A whole lotta hilarity going on today at DU...
Between this. the poop flags and the auctioning off of Social Security on Ebay, it's definitely been a hoot...
I've often thought the same thing, that you could sell people ANYTHING with the right marketing scheme; but I've never been able to act on it... damn conscience anyway...
Still, THESE days...
Oh well... off to the market to keep searching til I find that potato that looks just like Jesus (the one with the EYES THAT SEEM TO FOLLOW YOU)...
D
"I LOVE horror movies, man... I just don't want to LIVE in one."

[mohinoaklawnillinois]

73. Bouncy Ball, you're my hero.

This post just made my day!!!

All I can think of is the headline and picture on the Northern Ireland Edition of the Daily Mirror of November 4, 2004 with a picture of the Chimpster grimacing and this written below it:

"How can 59,017,382 people be so DUMB?

I agree with H.L. Mencken. The vast majority of Americans are just clueless.

[Democracy White]

74. Talking about selling... check this article out

Got it off of Witchvox.com and I laughed so hard. Geez... talk about stuff that people will buy!

'SATANIC' TURTLE SURVIVES INFERNO

A turtle who survived a fierce fire that killed 150 other animals at a US pet shop now sports the face of the devil, according to the shop owners.

They say the intense heat of the fire revealed distinctly Satanic eyes, lips, goatee and pointed devil horns on the shell of the creature, now named Lucky. Lucky lost two tank mates in the pet shop fire, but he, somehow, came through the ordeal unscathed.

Owners Bryan and Marsha Dora plan to sell Lucky to the highest bidder.

After discovering Lucky's markings, Mr Dora became convinced their turtle was not alone that night.

"The marking on the shell was like the devil wanted us to know he was down there," he told the Frankfort Times newspaper, Indiana.



Here is the link to the URL if you are interested in seeing the turtle:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4369517.stm

if it doesn't work, just copy and paste.

Dee

[jmcon007]

85. can't be too careful, though.....

I believe I would rather err on the side of attempting to live forever, so I'm going to stop using cancer-causing deodorant.
While we're at it, we should all take heed of a warning put out years ago by, I believe, Dr. Vinnie Boom Ba whose studies show that saliva can cause cancer if taken in small doses over a long period of time.
You've been duly warned.

[Knight of Ni]

86. Ironic that Johnny Carson passes away....

...just as America has become a nation of Floyd Turbos.

[renate]

87. I have this great New Yorker cartoon

by Eric Lewis

It's a guy on his deathbed, saying "I should have bought more crap."

[flygal]

88. When I first heard a co-worker talk about empowering women pyramids

you know, you pay $5000 to start out at appetizer, then you move up after getting 40 people to join and you get $40,000 when you get to the top of the pyramid I was at the point you are now. She also showed me one of those cheesy weight loss ads and said "look at how much weight she lost". **smacks head**

I also can't believe people - smart people! buy into that Amway scam. Greedy and stupid!

[smurfygirl]

89. you could start selling these at sunday service. just set up

a booth at the back of the church.... O8)

Experience The 'Scent Of Christ' - In A Candle
Mar 17, 2005, 11:00 AM
New Media Producer: Kerry Corum

You can find candles with just about every fragrance imaginable, from blueberry to ocean mist, to hot apple pie. Now, there's a candle that lets you experience the "scent of Jesus." And surprisingly, it's straight from South Dakota, not Bethlehem. They've been selling by the case.

"We see it as a ministry," says candle maker Bob Tosterud. Light up the candle called "His Essence" and, according to the makers, you'll experience the fragrance of Christ. "It's a very meaningful experience."

The obvious question is, 'how do you capture the scent of Jesus?' It's all spelled-out in Psalm 45. Candle maker Karen Tosterud explains, "It's a Messianic Psalm, referring to when Christ returns, and his garments will have the scent of myrrh, aloe and cassia." Wondering what this would smell like, Karen ordered a combination of oils that produce a sort of flowery-cinnamon aroma. Then she called on a friend, who just happened to be a candle maker. "And in October, we got our first batch of 768 candles. We had no idea how it would go."

But once word got out, "It was the hottest item in South Dakota for Christmas." They went through 10,000 candles. Karen says, "It's the only one on the market, and everyone tells us it's very unique and nothing like it." Bob adds, "When Karen thought of this one, I was just astonished. I just thought it was the neatest idea that I had ever heard."

for full story...http://www.14wfie.com/Global/story.asp?s=3082728

[Carl Yasutomo]

91. Most people don't think for themselves

One thing I've learned is that most people simply do not have original thoughts. They simple believe what they believe because everyone around them says it is so. The Republicans have taken advantage of this fact by taking over the corporate media, because they know that most people are too intellectually lazy to question the sound bites and screaming heads on TV.

The run-up to the Iraq war confirmed this for me. Anyone who spent ten minutes doing some research on the Internet on evidence for WMDs could have seen that there was very little case for invading Iraq. But people were too lazy to bother. They simply saw people on TV repeating claims of WMD and believed it.

[Maraya1969]

93. Hey I have to say something about deodorant

I kind of believe that antiperspirant is not good for you because it blocks the sweat glands. I had this large lump under my armpit, (I know - gross) and it was there for months. I asked the doctor and he said don't worry because it was sore and it should go away - put hot compresses on it.

Then I read something about rubbing alcohol opening your pores. I ditched the antiperspirant and started using natural things with tea tree oil and such and the lump went away! Mind you it had been there for at least 4 months.

I'm not saying antiperspirant causes cancer but I don't think closing your pours up all the time is a good thing.

Just my two cents.

[area51]

95. "someone with no cerebral cortex can get up, walk around..."

There's lots of people w/no cerebral cortex walking, talking, etc. over @ places like Freak Nazi Republic & Loosy-Ann's websites. :evilgrin:

[Calvinist Basset]

96. Please explain this section to me . . .

"Anyone with even a rudimentary understanding of what the cc is responsible for in humans has got to have a mind-boggling moment to discover that people in the year 2005 actually believe that. And would ARGUE it, no less."

I'm sorry, I might just be stupid, but what is "cc"? I think if I knew what that meant, this part of the post would make sense to me.

Otherwise, it's a great post.

[huskerlaw]

97. Cerebral cortex n/t

[Calvinist Basset]

99. Oh, gosh, that should have been obvious.

I guess I really am stupid today.

Thanks for the explanation!

[Zig]

98. You hit the nail on the head BB

I'm literally living what you are feeling. So I figure if it's not completely useless, then I can sleep.

So now for the shameless plug. With a nod to George Carlin.

www.snaptopdesk.com

and thanks

[piece sine]

100. As you read thru this thread

and the sentiments expressed about the voting public, ask yourself if these sentiments are going to help or hinder the Democratic Party rebuild our majority. I see deeply patronizing remarks about so-called sheep and "murkins" that illuminate how hard it is goingto be for Democrats to make a national comeback. Sure, people here at DU are following the bouncing ball as she mocks the very people her party needs, but I fear that this anti-populist fodder is exactly why Republicans do better on election day; they don't openly mock the electorate.

[Swamp Rat]

104. I disagree and think it is unwise to lay blame on patriotic Democrats

exercising their right to free speech. Dissent is patriotic. If one can dissent AND entertain, well, that is great. If one can dissent within one's own party, dark, sardonic humor and all, that is even better! :D

"I fear that this anti-populist fodder is exactly why Republicans do better on election day;" - Don't be afraid "piece sine!" :scared: Take solace in your misunderestimation of the situation. We already know that Republicans can only win by stealing elections, buying the media and their attendant presstitutes, and killing anyone that gets in their way.

"I see deeply patronizing remarks" - I see Americans pissed off at other Americans for aiding and abetting war crimes, dismantling the U.S. Constitution, and destroying this wonderful country. Not only are we pissed, we are expressing it creatively. Jon Stewart is proof that humor is a powerful tool for disseminating the truth to the information-starved masses, and as well, there are health benifits directly related to the production of laughter.

Bouncy Ball is a kick-ass American patriot, and is one, hilarious comic to boot... and don't you forget it! ;) ... No more Mr. Nice guy. Just call it like ya see it. :D

[Bouncy Ball]

106. Oh yes, I'm so evil! LOL!

Hey, you know what? It's called TOUGH LOVE. And it seems that a large portion of the American public needs a dose. I didn't make them that way. But I sure as hell am tired of the repuke party and the MSM stirring it up and ENCOURAGING people to stop thinking. It's fucking ridiculous.

So if you're so worried about the electorate, go out there and beg them to vote Dem. Or coddle them. Or be all nice and debate them nicely.

GOOD LUCK!

LOL! BTW, people who are WILLFULLY ignorant deserve to be mocked. I'm NOT mocking people who are just ignorant (btw, that doesn't mean stupid, it means you don't know stuff), but willing to learn. Those people are AWESOME. There are things I am ignorant about (everyone has those subjects), but I am WILLING to learn and to find out about them!

I'm talking about people who REFUSE to learn anything new, who REFUSE to listen to any other side, who seem to WANT to be fearful and ignorant. They PREFER it that way!

Now, if you actually think you can win over the willfully ignorant, you need to lay out those plans to do so right here, because we're gonna give you the DU Nobel Prize if it works.

[BrklynLiberal]

105. I apologize for being so late to add my admiration and kudos, but that

in no way diminishes the sincerity and sense of awe.
BB, you really know how to wield that pen, or that keyboard, in this instance, like a rapier.
Thank you.

[Bouncy Ball]

107. Hey, you do too, I always enjoy your posts!!!

Thanks, friend.

[Nikepallas]

109. Got a few Ideas:

I once heard of a Pet Rock being popular in the 70s so why not paint faces on them and call them the "New and improved Pet Rocks"


Or


take pictures of an outside view (landscape, sky, tree) and call it the portable window.





:shrug: :headbang:

[fob]

111. I'll take four.