The Red Lake, MN school shooting - my own story

[latteromden]

If you haven't heard yet, there was a shooting yesterday at a high school up in northern Minnesota, in the Red Lake reservation. I don't actually know when it happened - I slept from 1 PM to 7 PM - but when I woke up, 8 people were being reported dead.

I admit, I was pretty shocked to hear, "Breaking news coming out of Minnesota now..." I was also amused at hearing nearly every news anchor mispronounce "Bemidji" and "Ojibwe." They even went as far as to claim that Bemidji was a "remote part of Minnesota." Well, sure, it's pretty far up there, but when I think "remote," I think the middle of Wyoming or Montana. Not Bemidji. Although, I suppose, it depends on where you live. They showed the (apparently required for all stories out of Minnesota) video clips with people showcasing stupid Minnesotan accents - but all of this is rather beside the point. It was a shock, though, to hear news of a school shooting, and the worst since Columbine, at that, coming out of my state. It hit too close to home.

I'm hesitant to tell this story, because it's not really something I like to remember, but I think that it's important for those of you that are parents, or, really, know any kids at all, to realize what a threat school shootings are.

In 2000, I was 10 years old. A year had passed since the Columbine shooting, and I had a friend named Nathan*, who was in my grade; lived on my street; still does. He would tease my friends and me, and we would tease him back. We were friends, I think, because we were sort of in the same social position - nobody particularly liked either of us. He came over to my house all the time; our parents would joke that we were going to get married some day.

I don't remember the date he threatened me, but I remember the place and time. We were waiting for our bus at the corner of a nearby cul-de-sac in the morning, jumping up and down on the snow banks (this is Minnesota, you know - there was a lot of snow!) and playing on them. Somehow, we got on to the subject of whose parents owned a gun and who had ever used one.

I remember the exact words he said to me, then: "If someone lent me a gun, I'd shoot you and your family first."

It didn't really scare me at the time, but when I got home, something reminded me of Columbine, and I realized that something was not right with what he'd said. I told my parents, who said that if he ever did another thing to me, they would call the police (note: parents, if you take anything out of this story, let it be this: if someone says something like that to your child, or your child says something like that to another kid, do not wait until "another incident" occurs - because that could be the difference between stopping and permitting a shooting).

We ended up talking to his parents about the incident with the gun statement after he threw a snowball at me. Still, I heard, "Oh, they'll get over it and get married some day."

The story doesn't end there, though.

Five years later, I'm fifteen, and he is, I believe, fourteen. He's friends with some of the "wrong" people - and I know that most people understand the group I'm talking about. The people that get caught smoking; doing drugs; bringing alcohol to school and storing it in their gym locker. Recently, one of his friends brought a gun to school and stored it in his backpack for a few days. He got "expelled" (his expulsion later turned into only a few weeks' suspension) and said that he "forgot about the gun" when it was in his backpack. What frightens me the most is not that this friend had the gun, but that the boy that had threatened to shoot me and my family if somebody lent him a gun had very easy access to one; he would only have to ask for it.

So please, please, take some interest in your own children, and, if you don't have any, the kids at the local school. Make sure that threats don't turn into disasters like the recent school shooting.

*name changed because I suppose I don't feel comfortable giving his real name.

[NV Whino]

1. Thanks for this post

It's important to see how easily this stuff happens.

[penpal7]

2. I live about 60 miles from Red Lake and I just want to say to

the MSM to just stay the hell out of minnesota, we can handle the tragic event on our own we don't need fox and the rest of the media making a soap opear out of it, and we really don't need them painting us as "jack pine savages". Its already started with fox reporting in a sidebar about the plight of indians on reservations. So please let us alone, we don't need your type of media attention.

[babylonsister]

3. Thanks for sharing. This country is becoming

increasingly scary to me. When, at the age of 15, you have to worry whether someone might shoot you, is too much and not fair to kids. How did we sink so low?

[Mairead]

12. I'll guess that you're White and didn't grow up in a ghetto

because 'inner-city' Black kids, and in some cities Brown ones, have been worried about being shot (or knifed or beaten or bombed or...) dead for decades.

Somehow, though, that's never been a problem.

Just as the butchery in Africa is being ignored.

[babylonsister]

14. Yep, I'm white but also pushing 50. When I

was growing up, I don't recall this being such a problem. Or maybe the news is so accessible now, not like it was when there were only 3 channels to watch.

[liberalitch]

15. Oh Yea... just suspend dominque....

don't find out WHY he has a box cutter.

[frictionlessO]

4. Wow! With 15 year olds like you out there, I find hope for us all.

Then again there are people like your "friend"...

Just had to let you know that I thought your post was incredible and very well spoken.

Thank you and nominated.

[liberalitch]

16. Yup, I think that teachers need to be more conscious of...

the dynamics between kids.
I DO NOT tolerate a bully in my class, conversely I do not ignore kids who are obviously afraid of something

[coffeenap]

5. I am glad you wrote this. Too many adults automatically disregard

the perspective of people who are in their teens. I haven't figured out why yet, since we adults were all teens once and we know we understood a lot of things then. I ask my 15 year old and my 10 year old sometimes to excuse adults for not understanding them because something must kick in at a certain age that makes most of us stop paying serious attention to you! I am in my mid 40's and I hear you loud and clear!

What you say is true and vital for those who are in charge of "protecting" you to understand. Thank you for posting--and I hope you continue to discuss all of the topics that interest you hare at DU--my 15 year old does, and I believe it is good for him and for us to hear it! Best wishes and stay safe!

[meganmonkey]

6. Thank you for your perspective

I think you are right - there are kids like this in every school, kids who, for whatever reason, are on the edge of a major meltdown. Even when I was in high school (late 80's-early 90's) I never even thought about this kind of thing...we had the 'goth' kids and the grunge kids (I probably fit somewhere in there back then :P ) and we would listen to the Smiths or Nine Inch Nails or Nirvana and be depressed or whatever, some kids had some serious issues but I never imagined any of them hurting anyone other than themselves...

I can't imagine what it is like now. It has only been 15 years and it seems like things have changed so much - so many kids are on drugs (meaning antidepressants and ritalin) and probably one step removed from reality at all times because of it.

It's gotta be kind of scary. And it is heartbreaking. And I hope you never have to experience something like this.

:hug:

[riverwalker]

7. it's heartbreaking

The 17 yo Red Lake boy Jeff, had such a tragic and hopeless life. His father commited suicide, his mother is in a nursing home with a brain injury. He lived with his grandfather and his girlfriend.
It's all so sad.

[northernsoul]

8. Take care, Latteromden

btw, if you're writing this well at age 15 you have a very promising future. Keep up the good work!

[BikeWriter]

9. I would feel better if your parents had gone to the police. That boy...

...needed counseling, and you need peace of mind!

[southlandshari]

10. Thanks for the post

Your perspective is incredibly important, especially to parents like me.

BTW - I have to admit, when I saw your post count I had a hard time believing you were just 15. So I searched around old posts a while - and then REALLY had a hard time believing you were just 15!

I read enough to realize, though, that you may well be exactly who you say you are - though posting on school days during school hours is a little suspect! =) I'm willing to believe you were just at home sick those days or have a really great computer lab at school - I hope you can understand that most of us here are in awe of a teenager who has the ideas and insight you have. I was one of the most politically aware kids in my school when I was your age (WAAAAYYY back when), but I didn't have half of your world view and grasp of social and political realities. Probably still don't.

I hope my five-year-old is headed in the same direction. While I do draw the line on some things, she is definitely exposed to much more news and social commentary than most of her peers. She goes to vote with me, volunteers in the community, watches movies about the Civil Rights movement and about issues abroad that most would like to hide from their children. She speaks English and Arabic fluently. She told one of her kindergarten teachers that she voted for Kerry because Bush sent people to war so he could steal their oil and gas. The response from the teacher? "Well, Kerry kills babies, didn't your mommy tell you that?". Yikes. She is in for a wild ride, but I'd rather her face some painful challenges in life than grow up a lemming.

Thanks again for sharing your story.

[Divameow77]

18. Most of the kids in Minnesota are on Spring Break right now,

So enjoy your vacation.

[southlandshari]

19. I hope my original message was clear

Thanks for that note on Spring Break dates - but the OP had posted on other occasions during school hours on school days in the past three months. Of course, he/she could be homeschooled, or any other of a number of things that would allow for freedom to browse and post at atypical hours for someone of school age.

I tried to make it clear I believe he/she is indeed a 15-year-old - an incredibly bright, savvy and perceptive 15-year-old.

Didn't mean to come across as accusing anyone of anything. Didn't mean to make anyone testy - sorry if I offended.

[slackmaster]

11. Thank you for a thoughtful post - As a gun owner I'd like to add one thing

Keep your weapons secured when you aren't using them.

If you can't afford a way to properly store weapons, you can't afford weapons.

[Ellen Forradalom]

13. Thank you very much for your story

Things were messed up when I was your age in the "Dazed and Confused" 70s (abundant angel dust, etc.) but mass shootings weren't part of the mix. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. And, as a parent of a kindergartener, the point is well taken. Thank you for sharing with us.

[slackmaster]

17. The granddaddy of all school shootings happened in the '70s

January 29, 1979 - Brenda Spencer, the girl who didn't like Mondays.